Pope to change D&D cosmology

[fusangite]

Don't forget about the St. Peter thing: "Whatsoever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven," and all that. Check out the Kevin Smith movie Dogma for a more whimsical take on the idea - a cardinal inadvertantly almost undoes all of existance in an extension of this.

But that's as far into religious discussion as I'm going to go...

On the verge of shirking your moderator role here, Henry, fun as the thread is. Limbo was made logically unnecessary with the doctrine of implicit faith adopted at Vatican II but because both Benedict and John Paul II were anti-Vatican II, they're doing a cosmological rewrite ignoring its conclusions.

This thread really does serve to remind us of the glorious logical incoherence of the Gygaxian Great Wheel. The other outer planes are similarly horrible manglings of someone's idea of the afterlife.

The pope should really consider adopting the Aztec belief that the second level of heaven is occupied by a giant breast-covered tree at which infants who die before weaning suckle for the rest of time.

 

[Mercule]

The pope should really consider adopting the Aztec belief that the second level of heaven is occupied by a giant breast-covered tree at which infants who die before weaning suckle for the rest of time.

Alas that I'm already weened. Maybe I should look for a wet-nurse instead of a hospice nurse when the time comes.

 

[Henrix]

The pope should really consider adopting the Aztec belief that the second level of heaven is occupied by a giant breast-covered tree at which infants who die before weaning suckle for the rest of time.

I'd like to see that in a Planescape adventure.

 

[radferth]

I can just see it, Quetzalcoatl sends the player to check out why a large portion of the men destined for a spot higher in heaven never go further than the 2nd level. The PCs have to figure out a way to get those guys off the tree and onto their proper places without disturbing the babies.

 

[lukelightning]

Man, this is almost as bad as when Nirvana broke up.

 

[jaerdaph]

Limbo was made logically unnecessary with the doctrine of implicit faith adopted at Vatican II but because both Benedict and John Paul II were anti-Vatican II, they're doing a cosmological rewrite ignoring its conclusions.

Yeah yeah yeah, Father, whatever. Just tell me when Bingo night is!

 

[francisca]

This thread really does serve to remind us of the glorious logical incoherence of the Gygaxian Great Wheel. The other outer planes are similarly horrible manglings of someone's idea of the afterlife.

Whah!!!!!

Game with Elves and Dragons, and you are worried about logical coherence.

Henrix: Great link! The guys in my group will bust a gut over that one.

 

[Shemeska]

In response to the news, several organizations made statements to the press:


Shylara the Manged, a Gehennan Arcanaloth speaking on behalf of the Yugoloth heirarchy of Khin-Oin, had the following to say:

"Frankly, we don't give a sh*t, it's not like we made them like we did the other fiends. .... Is that camera on? Hey! Turn that camera off! That was off the record!"

Shortly thereafter we switched to a second feed after our first reporter was sadly carried off screaming by several mezzoloths. We're told that we'll have his remains shipped back to us in a 9x12 envelope.

Speaking again, the 'loths had the following to say officially:

"On behalf of the Oinoloth of the Wasting Tower, the General of Gehenna, and all other members of the 'loth race, we'd like to extend our sympathies to the displaced residents of Limbo. We really are sorry. Really. Trust us. And now with that sickening sympathy out of the way, we're holding our LIMBO IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE!!!! Everything is priced to move! Don't ask us how we got ahold of it all, we're just connected. You want to buy githzerai souls? We've got plenty! You want to buy the Spawning Stone? We've got it too! We cleaned them out and we're passing along the savings to you! So buy it now while the buying is good!"

Legal disclaimer: The Yugoloths are not to be held responsible for anything we sell you, and ultimately yeah most of it'll kill you, some of it naturally and some of it because we're b*stards like that and because we're better than you. So buy up berks and do enjoy.


In response, the Slaadi had the following to tell us:

Blarglefez the Blue Slaadi - "LikE bALlOoNs I rED!!"

Our reporter's head was eaten at that point, so we apologize for not having any longer commentary.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

The pope should really consider adopting the Aztec belief that the second level of heaven is occupied by a giant breast-covered tree at which infants who die before weaning suckle for the rest of time.

To counter point the "uh-huh uh-huh breasts" style responses, I have to say that as a mother that is as good a baby afterlife as I can imagine - ultimate peace and happiness for all eternity.

 

[Captain NeMo]

Surely there's no shame in girlishy giggling at this?