Quitting a group & starting anew..ground rules?

[fusangite]

Do you have any idea how utterly bewildered and offended many of us would be to recieve such "rules" upon entering someone's home as a guest?

I would be gone in a heartbeat.

Yep. Because it wouldn't just indicate my host was a control freak with very poor judgement; it would also indicate I was in danger of gaming with people whose behaviour the list was written to regulate.

 

[freebfrost]

Yep. Because it wouldn't just indicate my host was a control freak with very poor judgement; it would also indicate I was in danger of gaming with people whose behaviour the list was written to regulate.

Quoted for truthery!

 

[Numion]

Yep. Because it wouldn't just indicate my host was a control freak with very poor judgement; it would also indicate I was in danger of gaming with people whose behaviour the list was written to regulate.

This is actually the most important reason to avoid such a group. If I had to wonder what the other guys would be doing without the rules and the "players policing players" enforcement, I would not feel very good about my company.

 

[Odhanan]

So, in response to most of the "I wouldn't touch your game" responses, I would say "Where are you and why don't you live in Houston!"

LOL. I'm on an island of Canada's West Coast. Believe me, not many gamers around! But I introduced some of the people I've made friends with to the game. I run games for my friends to have a good time. As a rule, I never hesitate to introduce someone I like to RPGs.

I don't feel the need to play with experienced gamers. I introduced 100% of my present gaming group one year ago. All teachers, social workers and counsellors (I'm not working in a school but my beloved does). They have now one year of XP with RPGs, and they are doing it all: immersive roleplay, hack'n'slash, puzzle-solving, etc. You name it.

I don't say that to brag about anything. They are normal people, and I think I'm a normal person too. I just share my passion, and those who like it stick around and have fun. You know, like... friends you share some common points with. I don't become friends with people because they are gamers (when I become friends with actual gamers it has in fact little to do with them being gamers in the first place). I make friends with people, get to know them, and then introduce them to my hobbies if they want to. If they don't want to, I won't ditch them from my friends list.

As for normal friends... heck, normal people, they respect each other. So besides giving the tone of the tabletop sessions by giving guidelines and then at times reminding people of them when there's a problem, I really don't think you need to enforce "laws" at the game table. For me, that's a matter of communication and understanding. Not law enforcement.

 

[Patryn of Elvenshae]

Yep. Because it wouldn't just indicate my host was a control freak with very poor judgement; it would also indicate I was in danger of gaming with people whose behaviour the list was written to regulate.

By Jove, I think he's got it!

This just caps an impressively long list of Fusangite posts I completely agree with.

 

[DonTadow]

Nope, no one has said or implied that except to strawman others' possitions. The question is whether a set of hostily worded ("is that enough to for you?" "if not, g.t.h.o.") insulting ("try to be mature about it") and authoritarian ("no smoking or food breaks" xp given privately by my unexplained formula) rules are a good thing to present to potential new players. That was the question in the poll. Rules like these, presented by the DM. Some of us say no. Several of us have explicitly said "some groundrules, mutually agreed upon, but not this rant sheet".

If you are trying to argue for "rules regarding personal and on-site behavior" you are arguing with yourself.

I see where you're going, but all of the examples you listed can be found in many of listed social rules in the activities I gave as examples. Even the wording would be similiar in some cases. If you're coming into my house, I"m going to present you the ground rules for my house. I guess I don't see how anyone can be offended because they go over with you what you can and can not do at their house. I have a big sign that says take off your shoes at my house. One guy walked in with his shoes on and didnt take them off, I asked him about it and if he saw the sign. I then through him out of my house. Where those of you see Stallin I see Ghandi. My thing is its my house and my game. If you don't like the rules, no hard feelings adios.

Perhaps some of you have only gamed with your friends and known people, but I"ve encountered some of the rudest and nastiest people while gaming. I have a rule i lsited on my website about guys being gentelment at my games. I have three female players and when i first started this campaign off i kicked out a guy whom couldn't hold in his flachelonous. It was disgusting and rude. Thus, I added a rule. Again, I still can't see being offended because someone presents you with rules. If I don't plan on breaking them, they shouldn't really bother me.

 

[farscapesg1]

I see where you're going, but all of the examples you listed can be found in many of listed social rules in the activities I gave as examples. Even the wording would be similiar in some cases. If you're coming into my house, I"m going to present you the ground rules for my house. I guess I don't see how anyone can be offended because they go over with you what you can and can not do at their house. I have a big sign that says take off your shoes at my house. One guy walked in with his shoes on and didnt take them off, I asked him about it and if he saw the sign. I then through him out of my house. Where those of you see Stallin I see Ghandi. My thing is its my house and my game. If you don't like the rules, no hard feelings adios.

Perhaps some of you have only gamed with your friends and known people, but I"ve encountered some of the rudest and nastiest people while gaming. I have a rule i lsited on my website about guys being gentelment at my games. I have three female players and when i first started this campaign off i kicked out a guy whom couldn't hold in his flachelonous. It was disgusting and rude. Thus, I added a rule. Again, I still can't see being offended because someone presents you with rules. If I don't plan on breaking them, they shouldn't really bother me.

I think you hit the biggest issue on the head with the friends comment. IMO, most of the people that focus on the proposed rules as being part of a "control freak" nature probably only game with friends and known acquaintances. Some of us haven't had that luxury (or wouldn't touch it ever again for certain reasons) and instead game with people more in line with how you would expect to game at a convention. In other words, putting an ad up and getting together with previously unknown people who share the common interest of roleplaying (and maybe nothing else).

For us, it's more of a matter of getting together to game, not getting together with friends. So, the game takes on more of an organization aspect, where rules and by-laws apply to behavior and activities. It's like sitting down at a blackjack table at a casino instead of sitting down on the card table with some beers and pretzels. In the first, you are sitting with other people who share your interrest in gambling and playing cards. In the second, you are sitting down with your poker buddies. The first requires rules to keep everyone in-line and following proceedures (no cheating, no yelling, no throwing cards at the dealer, etc.), while the second just relies on the unspoken rule of "hey, we're all friends and let's have some fun."

 

[DonTadow]

By Jove, I think he's got it!

This just caps an impressively long list of Fusangite posts I completely agree with.

Oh my he's trying to control what goes on in his own house... at his gaming table... at the game he put together.....

He should be tarred and feathered... viva la gamers.

Sorry the rational that he is a contro lfreak because he has rules is silly. I consider myself liberal but I don't think my freedoms are being reduced because the guy wants me to concentrate on gaming while I'm at the table, because he doesn't want power gamers at his games nor does he want to waste an hour ordering food during his game time. Heck, when I"m interviewing for a game with a dm, I have a list of questions I bring him, and some of these things would be on that list of questions.

 

[freebfrost]

Oh my he's trying to control what goes on in his own house... at his gaming table... at the game he put together.....

And obviously there are a large number of gamers who would not tolerate being given a list of rules at the door which include not taking breaks.

We should be tarred and feathered for feeling that would be insulting.

Sorry the rational that he is a contro lfreak because he has rules is silly. I consider myself liberal but I don't think my freedoms are being reduced because the guy wants me to concentrate on gaming while I'm at the table, because he doesn't want power gamers at his games nor does he want to waste an hour ordering food during his game time. Heck, when I"m interviewing for a game with a dm, I have a list of questions I bring him, and some of these things would be on that list of questions.

Some? Why not all?

I don't have a problem with asking questions - I have a problem with being given a list of rules to live by. If I wanted that I would join the Army or visit a Rave cinema, where I can be told specifically to not put my feet up on the chairs in front of me. That's nice if I were 8 years old, but insulting as an adult.

Are you not noticing that a good number of responses here from fellow gamers say that this is insulting in the least? It's not a question of having rules, but how those rules are presented - this method is over-the-top for me and apparently many others.

 

[Numion]

Oh my he's trying to control what goes on in his own house... at his gaming table... at the game he put together.....

He should be tarred and feathered... viva la gamers.

I don't think that anyone's saying that. But you do realize that most people don't give adults rules on behaviour when letting them in the house or starting a game of D&D?

Just like you find people coming in to your house with shoes on a bit tacky, most people find someone reading them the whole law on house manners much tacky. I'm not saying that you haven't had advantages from giving your house manners to people, but also a lot of people might think that it was a bit weird too.