D&D General [+] Racially-Discriminating Afterlife Systems

[Dire Bare]

It's weird that elves only go to Arvandor and might not stay with their friends or non-elven loved ones. But it's also odd that a NG husband and LG wife would be separated on death. Or be separated from a child for similar reasons

Well, D&D alignment is (IMO) not a good way to decide who goes where when they die . . . despite it's semi-canon in D&D.

A more realistic conundrum would be a husband who's broken the precepts of his faith goes to "hell", while his wife and child get to go to "heaven". Even if that husband didn't really turn to evil, he just didn't follow the rules his god(s) set down for admission to heaven. This mirrors real-world religions in many cultures. Unfair, but realistically so . . . and possibly the basis of some good storytelling.

 

[MechaTarrasque]

Problems about separation are only problems if the petitioner can remember his/her past life. Alternatively, you could borrow from Tad William's Bobby Dollar series and say that being in "heaven" makes you so happy that you don't think about anything that would make you unhappy.

 

[SehanineMoonbow]

It's weird that elves only go to Arvandor and might not stay with their friends or non-elven loved ones. But it's also odd that a NG husband and LG wife would be separated on death. Or be separated from a child for similar reasons

You can justify it more with elves as they're going to their creator. It's elven heaven. Corellon called dibs on their souls
Although, deities might have arrangements with other allied gods. Such as Moradin taking an elf that follows him. Which feels unlikely, and something the gods hash out individually

Maybe the elf persuades their non-elven loved one(s) to follow the Seldarine

Elves almost always go to Arvandor, but a non-elf could still end up there if they followed the Seldarine. As you said, the gods probably would have to hash it out individually in certain circumstances.