Crimson Longinus
Legend
Yeah, good post. I always say that one of the most important things is that everyone is playing the same game.I don't think force is inherently problematic or problematic at all. I just like having a shared orientation towards play. If we're trying to tell the best story possible let's do that. If we're digging in deep to character let's all do that. If we're playing a game to overcome a challenge let's all do that. This can change from moment to moment, but it should still be shared or it's not fun for me.
Like if I'm having a moment where like I'm really embodying my character and having this fraught conversation with an NPC or other PC if that other player is like trying to drive the narrative to fulfill some character arc then that interaction loses some of the raw nature of that interaction. The worst case for me came in a Blades in the Dark game where the GM basically decided what one of my character's defining relationships should look like and was playing the NPCs to put pressure on me to make a decision for my character that kind of felt really unnatural to me. I ended up having a conversation with him about the principles of play. He basically intimated that he was not cool with playing to find out if it meant that it could end badly so I moved on. Basically the GM did not trust me enough to not mess up my own character's narrative. A game that started out so strong basically became one of the worst experiences I ever had in gaming. I was willing to risk things not ending well, but he wasn't willing to give me the chance to really experience those conflicts.
The same thing is largely true for more gamist play priorities too. I can't get into really enjoying a tactical challenge if there are players that are not into it. It just saps the fun for me. Same thing if the GM is not playing the fight hard. There's no joy in defeating a rigged challenge.
Likewise I can't imagine it would feel good to run a game with an elaborately crafted plot that players do not give a crap about. I would want players that are invested in it and like working with me to make it as good as possible.