Fair enough. Thank you for replying. I found your answers nice, and I new spark of inspirarion for where the communication might have been lead astray.
I think this might be a critical observation that might have blindsided me! I am a former teacher and non-native speaker. For me throwing out the word "instruct" in the teaching sense in an inaproperiate context just seem like such an obvious mistake to make in hindsight. I think I had more in mind the boy talking about what tools should be used for what purpose on the hair of the barbie doll, than the drill sergeant pointing exactly where to put the toy car, and in what direction to push it. Indeed the rest sort of doesn't make sense with the drill sergeant vision. How can there be any suggestions to shoot down if these comprehensive detail instructions was followed with no question?
So is it really this it boils down to. The ambiguity of a single word?
That word certainly set a tone, but it was not the only contributing factor.
Who say it was expected? Certanly not me expliciitely. And not you either, as this was clearly unexpected behavior from merely good friends. Is it really just an inference from the dictate understanding of "instruct"?
Well, some of it was in that, and some was in the phrasing surrounding it (e.g. "whenever they voice any opinion"), and in the instantaneousness of it, but it was also reinforced by the responses after.
How can a suggestion of doing something harmful to the toy be shot down if there are no ability to even voice such a suggestion? And as the qualifier of worry for damage is present for the shooting it down, it might seem to be implied that there are suggestions for use that is actually both voiced and approved?
This may be a critical miscommunication. I see a difference between the non-owner children
proposing something (and then immediately getting shot down), vs
pushing back against something the owner has said. Commentary and criticism on the owner's opinions are, necessarily, forms of pushback. They represent someone speaking for their own preferences and interests
without immediate obedience. Now, that doesn't mean that pushback requires active action. The other children could pause--keeping the toy in an unobjectionable state--while they make their case that no, the owner's opinion on X specific issue isn't well-formed or isn't applicable or (etc.), and thus the other child(ren)'s opinion should hold sway.
The desire for association with status is purely a figment of your imagination. This is not present in explicit writing, nor in my original vision that spawned this text. Indeed this sharing is a nice bonding exercise. This fact is explicitely established in my third sentence. I absolutely do not consider a transactional status power play a nice bonding exercise.
I mean, sure, but the point was that there was symmetry between what I had already said, and the example you were giving here. I wasn't meaning that to say "SEE THIS IS WHAT YOU SAID ALL ALONG". Instead, it was to say that in your effort to provide an analogy that, I presume, you
expected me to say "no, that isn't absolute power", you did in fact replicate exactly what I had said before.
I stand by my position that, but for your claim that it is solely and exclusively people "being good friends", it simply does not read as such. Hence my counter-claim that declaring that something is X, while giving good evidence that it is not-X, is reason for someone to say, "But you clearly made it something that isn't X, just
calling it X does not make it so."
So where does this leave us? My suggested post mortem is that I used an ambigous word in a context where the wrong meaning was the natural intepretation for someone with a more normal background than me. This caused my text to become inherently incoherent. However rather than recognising and pointing out these incoherences right away you managed to construct a coherent vision for yourself that you deemed matched my description sufficiently well to formulate a reply. We then went on for a dozen posts or so based on different visions, but neither of us being able to recognise clearly that there was a difference in vision. First when vulnerability came up as a keyword managed I to give a description of my vision that you recognised as clearly incompatible with your vision. Nesting up where it went wrong has been a long and laborious process.
But I think we might now possibly have succeeded? Or what do you think? And is there anything we can try to learn from this to make similar situations less likely to happen or easier to detect in the future? Might there be any merit in my speculation that this kind of differences in vision might be plaguing parts of this thread?
Well, firstly, I think it's important to address some of the...let's call them "side" conversations that came up along the way.
One of the things you brought up was the idea that every child in this scenario was also a toy-owner, who would also have the same declarative ability regarding the use of
their respective toys. I think that reveals a pretty serious fault of the overall analogy, namely that it means the analogy is dependent on the assumption that all of the children are peers in every functional way. All of them have (non-fungible) equivalent toys, and all of them can participate in exactly the same way. That is simply, flatly,
not true of the "traditional GM" model of TTRPGing. Quite the opposite. Hence why I had made the assumption, which I felt was valid but you did not, that the toy-owner is of special status.
Because, moving back to the "traditional GM" model...yeah, the toy-owner not only does have special status, the thread has made very clear that they are
claiming that special status. That the GM can "pull rank"--meaning there is a
hierarchy, with the GM at the top and the players at the bottom. If the toy-owner/other-children model completely and totally excludes any conception of hierarchy, then it may miss out on extremely important details, and thus produce false results. (I very much believe that it
does produce false results, which is part of my pushback against the notion that this is ONLY happening because the friends are good friends and for absolutely no other reason.)
Secondly, as your own elaborations demonstrated, it's a hell of a lot more complex to "harm" a setting/campaign than it is to harm a physical toy. You were most vehement that the racecar should not be driven over ANY rough surfaces, only smooth ones or pre-constructed, pre-approved tracks. I don't know if you saw what I was doing there, but I was intending that to correspond to illusionism (the false perception that you can go wherever you want, when in actuality you're restricted to a pretty narrow slice of the world, namely, only clean, smooth surfaces) and railroading (literally being on a rigid track/path where the only results that can happen are those that the person with authority has approved). Again, this pointed to the idea that the toy-owner child
wasn't really allowing any risks to occur.
But then, when we actually got to talking about things, you indicated that the players could make changes--perhaps even permanent, wide-ranging changes that the GM might not
like, but would
accept if they were done in the right way. That, to me, conflicts with your depiction of the toy-owner's behavior--and thus creates another important point of disanalogy. "Harm" is concrete when it's about a toy--scuffed paint, physical damage, cracks, broken-off pieces, etc. It's extremely abstract, and thus difficult to quantify, with a setting. That introduces both problematic ambiguity (what if the GM has an extremely restrictive view on what constitutes "harm" while the players have a loose view, or vice-versa?), and the aforementioned possibility of an action that is only acceptable or unacceptable depending on
how it is done, not on what the action actually is, which can't really occur with a physical toy (or at least I'm struggling to conceive of a way that it could happen).
* PS: My resturant experience is that it is very rare indeed to be instantly served by a waiter. Too many other customers that is competing for their attention. My power definitely do not
feel absolute among so many kings
Sure. But you had given in the example that the server was able to do that. Perhaps it's late, or you're there on Christmas Eve when most other families are celebrating at home. (For example, I'm given to understand it is semi-traditional in the United States for Jewish families to eat at Chinese restaurants on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, because Christmas doesn't really
do much for either of them, they have other holidays.)