I do think that is an excuse at times, a way to push away legitimate criticism of a project.The makers of this show knew that there'd be a big toxic pushback to a strong female character, and they were entirely correct. This entire episode was letting them know that they are actually the villains of the piece, which I find to be marvelous.
In She-Hulks case, I think the first few episodes do have problems tonally (I already talked about them early in this thread no need to rehash). The show to me hits its stride and becomes a lot better, but I think it would be disingenuous to say all the criticism is due to a "strong female character".
I consider the same thing for Captain Marvel for example. The movie is not that great to me, and there is a lot of legitimate and fair criticism about the movie. But a lot of people started retorting, "you only hate the movie because the lead is a woman". And again, that's disingenuous, the movie has some real problems with it, etc.