Regardless, D&D elves are not Alfar.
My point is, any setting is legitimate in 2024.
Which books are you referring to in order to play the one "true" D&D elves? I get the sense that you are referring to earlier editions of D&D, but these books are no longer canonical. (And the elven "subraces" changed radically in each edition anyway.) You can choose a particular setting, like 2024 Greyhawk or even pull out 1e Greyhawk by Gygax to use it as the setting. There is no reason to assume that Sea Elves exist in 2024 Greyhawk, and if they do perhaps Shadar-kai, Eladrin, and Astral Elves exist as well, unlike in 1e Greyhawk. The Elves in a setting are a choice.
D&D Elves include Dark Sun, Eberron, Lorwyn, and others.
Whatever your Elves, they are only true for the chosen setting and only at your table.
The 2024 Players Handbook is reasonably setting neutral when describing Elves. It has three sentences mentioning Corellon and Lolth, and doesnt mention a connection between Drow and Lolth. If there is a connection, it is a setting choice. Depending on the choice of setting, these minimal sentences are easy to ignore or even explain away or elaborate.
The 2024 Elf entries are flavorful with a light touch for inspiration, such as High Elves developed near fey crossings. The mechanics are solid, drawing from mythological accuracy, and versatile enough for different kinds of settings.
The DM isnt beholden to Monster Manual lore, because again monsters depend on setting, and the DM can and should modify appropriately. The Drider entry mentions that Lolth likes to transform her "drow worshipers" into Driders. But also adds that a powerful Hag or Mindflayer among others can also turn creatures into Driders. It depends on the setting. If a "Drow priestess of Lolth" exists, it reformats as a "Fiend Cultist". Even if a Lolth cult exists in the setting, the expectation seems to be that most Drow have nothing to do with it per the Players Handbook.
During session zero, the DM and the players decide on a setting. Whatever they pick will be the "true" way to play Elves for them.