Tell me your adoption stories

[Abstraction]

My wife and I begin adoption classes next week and I'm really excited. We are planning to adopt out of the foster care system. We haven't agreed if we want to adopt one or to adopt siblings (my vote is siblings). We already have a (non-adopted) little girl who is about to be 4. The whole idea is scary, but good.

So, have any of you adopted or know someone who has? Are any of you adopted? I'd like to hear your stories.

 

[devilbat]

Let me start by saying that I think adoption is a wonderful thing. I think it's a wonderful alternative, and I respect all families that consider the option.

My families adoption has been troubling. Without getting to deep into a very long story, let me say that my parents adopted a aboriginal boy, who was fourteen months old. From very early on, my parents had trouble with him. He was violent, even as a toddler. As he grew, the violence continued, he seemed to lack a concionce and lie telling was constant. As a teenager he was diagnosed as FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) he discovered alcohol and drugs, and his time at my parents culminated with a drunken attack on our father. He was sent to juvinile detention, and then dry out centres across the country. In his adulthood, he has been to jail multiple times, he is a habitual drug users, says he has been a male prostitute on occasion, and is constantly harrasing members of the family for money and other "help".

My experiences are not the norm for parents with adopted children. I would suggest you do everything you can to learn the medical history of the child you adopt, and his/her parents.

Good luck to you and your endeavour.

 

[WayneLigon]

Being adopted myself, I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

 

[Harmon]

My Grandma was adopted. She said that she knew she was wanted because of all the things her parents went through to take her in.

Couple years back when my wife and I were told we could not have children, we considered it, but I ran into some people that had adopted a Crack Baby. Insurrance refused to pay for the child's medical care, they lost nearly everything trying to pay for everything the kid needed. In the end the child- last I heard, had died of SIDs. It was very sad.

Know a few carpenters that have adopted multiple kids and all but one speaks highly of the children, loves them, finds them great and wonderful.

Coyote6 has three adopted sisters, his cousins actually. He loves them greatly, as does his- excuse me, their mom.

Adopting- near as I can tell, is a crap shoot. You throw the dice and you win or lose, in the end you live with what you rolled.

Oh, FWIW- I feel the need to brag here- my wife is seven weeks along. Doctors told us it was about a million to one, but we did it. Out of work, 220k in debt, trying to change careers, going to school, lost a friend, stressed out, depressed, all that is pushed aside a little for the idea that I might one day in the near future be a Dad.

 

[Abstraction]

Oh, FWIW- I feel the need to brag here- my wife is seven weeks along. Doctors told us it was about a million to one, but we did it. Out of work, 220k in debt, trying to change careers, going to school, lost a friend, stressed out, depressed, all that is pushed aside a little for the idea that I might one day in the near future be a Dad.

Well, heck, with those things going your odds increase to 50%. 100% if you're missing teeth and an alcoholic!

I like to feel that we are improving our odds a little by adopting kids that are not infants. We actually get to meet them, "interview" them, then decide which kid(s) can fit into our family. Of course, the downside is that any kids adopted out of foster care are going to have some emotional problems. I think we're prepared for that. It's hard to say. Our daughter is such an easy-going angel of a kid that I don't think she's really preparing us well for parenting other kids.

 

[Poster Bard]

I dated a girl who was adopted and so were her two brothers. They and their parents were all wonderful people. I found out back then that Wendy's founder Dave Thomas was adopted (at six weeks old by a Michigan family, FWIW) and he (when he was alive) was very big on promoting adoption as a good idea through his Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. If/When I ever have children, I would chose to adopt. My older brother has sons, so the so-called "bloodline" is intact already, as it were. I'm not sure if it would make any difference if I was the eldest or if he had no children/sons but I know for some families that can be an issue. Anyway, that's about the extent of my stories or opinions on the matter.

 

[Aeson]

My dad was adopted by his cousin. They are only 11 years different in age. He was older when he was adopted.

My sister and her husband adopted from Guatamala two kids. It is so hard to adopt in the US. They tried Russia but since there was abuse in my sisters past, they would not let them adopt.

 

[Aeson]

This was meant for another thread.

I posted in the wrong thread.