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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Tell us a joke...
- Thread starter STARP_Social_Officer
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Servitor of Wrath
First Post
Arrrgh! *slaps forehead with one hand, shoots you with the other*awayfarer said:
*gets hands mixed up and shoots self*
I may just have to name my next Minotaur PC ImpaMoo!
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter, he still won't come when you call him.
Raylis
First Post
A burgler breaks into a suburban home one night and begins to rob the place. As he starts to unhook the stereo he hears a voice:
"Jesus is watching."
He flashes his flashlight around, and not seeing anything, shrugs and resumes his theft. Again the voice said:
"Jesus is watching."
The burgler turns again and shines his light more slowing until it settles on a parrot. "Who the heck are you?" the burglar asked.
"Who me?" the parrot asked, "I'm Moses."
"Who would name a parrot Moses?"
"The same people that would name a pit bull Jesus."
"Jesus is watching."
He flashes his flashlight around, and not seeing anything, shrugs and resumes his theft. Again the voice said:
"Jesus is watching."
The burgler turns again and shines his light more slowing until it settles on a parrot. "Who the heck are you?" the burglar asked.
"Who me?" the parrot asked, "I'm Moses."
"Who would name a parrot Moses?"
"The same people that would name a pit bull Jesus."
Jesus_marley
First Post
Following the line of possible future careers, I always wanted to be an author. I even have the title of my first book. "Yes, Virginia Woolf, Be afraid of Santa Claus."
cybertalus
First Post
At the Store
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Snow."
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Snow."
Bubbalicious
First Post
Olaf the Stout said:
Q: What's the first thing a Sorority girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Walks home.
Q: How does a Sorority girl turn on the light after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: What's the difference between a Sorority girl and a limousine?
A: Not everyone's been in a limousine.
Q; What does a Sorority girl mating call sound like?
A: "I'm so drunk!!!"
Q: How are a Sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
A: You throw them in the gutter and they keep coming back.
Q: How is a Sorority girl different than a bowling ball?
A: You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: What's the difference between a Sorority girl and an elephant?
A: About 10 pounds.
Q: How do you make up the difference?
A: Force feed the elephant.
My sympathies do go out to anyone who suffers or knows someone who suffers from knowing a Sorority girl. I know that they aren't the easiest things to deal with.
Unless, of course, you're trying to get in their panties.
(Is betting that Bubbalicious knows the difference between a Sorority and a Circus...)
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