The "Favorite Simpsons Quotes" thread.

[A2Z]

I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there superman, please save me.
-Homer

 

[Pseudonym]

Homer: "We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours. Then I was slain by an elf."

That was my signature here for a little over a year. I still use it on the Kalamar boards.

 

[mojo1701]

Homer: "Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!"

Homer: "You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later, I'll go a little later...' And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he'll ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again!"

On the sign in front of the church:

There's something about the Virgin Mary

You have a f iend in God
Also: the Be Sharps

Private Wedding, Please worship elsewhere

God welcomes his victims

No synagogue parking

Today's Topic: He Knows What You Did Last Summer

No Outside Eucharist

God: The Original Tony Soprano

My favourite one of all is when they show Mr. Burns in his office, and a riff of the Imperial March from ESB plays. I love Star Wars references (and Mr. T ones. Heh heh, he really does pity the fool!)

 

[mmu1]

Abe: (sending a young Homer to school): "Boy, you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a stranger offers you a ride, I say you take it!"

 

[Alzrius]

On the community center bulletin: "Tonight: Seniors' Dance. Tomorrow: Cat Spay-a-thon"

Marge's mother says to Mr. Burns after dancing with him: "Oh Monty, you are the Devil himself!" "Y-, who told you?!"

 

[Steve Jung]

Two of my favorites

Mr. Burns: Welcome, come in. Ah, fresh victims for my evergrowing army of the undead.
Smithers: Sir, you have to let go of the button.
Mr. Burns: Well, son of a bi…


Mr. Burns: Hmm. Who's that goat-legged fellow. I like the cut of his jib.
Smithers: Uh. Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your 11 o'clock.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster! *starts crying*
Homer: No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother. I call him Gamblor, and we must save her from his neon claws!

Bart: Oh, me and Santa's Little Helper used to be best friends before his b!tch moved in.
Marge: Bart!
Bart: But that's what it means! I looked it up in the dictionary.
Marge: Well, I'm going to write to that dictionary. Sounds like a mistake to me.

Drunk Mr. Rogers: What do you mean I can't take off my sweater? I'm HOT!!!

Hank Scorpio: Homer, what's your least-favorite country? Italy or France?
Homer: France.
Hank Scorpio: Heh! Nobody ever says Italy.

Troy McLure: *Singing* I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-A to chimpan-Z
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me

Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along

You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you

Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!


Yes, the Planet of the Apes musical has to be one of the most classic Simpsons moments ever.

 

[Caliber]

I loved the episode with Hank Scorpio.

Hank: When you go home Homer, there'll be another floor on your house.

Or speaking of Troy ...

Troy: Gay! I'd kill to be gay!

 

[Eternalknight]

Homer: Lisa, everyone knows vampires are make believe, just like elves, gremlins and eskimos.

 

[ssampier]

Who could forget?

Bart: You killed zombie Flanders!

Homer: He was a zombie?