Nikroecyst
First Post
Is it me or is the biggest problem a DM could have is a gf or significant other as a player?
The GF in the Game
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WhatGravitas
Explorer
Actually, no. I enjoy it.Nikroecyst said:
A GF/SO who doesn't play and bickers 'bout "that game where you don't have time for me" is worse.
Or one who "plays" only to cling one's side and annoy the heck out of *everyone*, aka the Girlfriend Gamer (scroll down a bit, I've stumbled upon it a while ago, and that essay is great.)
tennyson
First Post
I've only been in one group where a player (and eventually DM) had his significant other in the party. There was some special treatment, but not enough to really cause any friction. That being said, the story did suffer sometimes.
In the end, I would always lean towards "no" when asked if it is a good idea to game with a player with whom you have a relationship.
In the end, I would always lean towards "no" when asked if it is a good idea to game with a player with whom you have a relationship.
Henry
Autoexreginated
Nikroecyst said:
Not necessarily. Only if the S.O. is causing problems; it's not automatic.
I've gamed with many people whose wives or husbands are awesome gamers in their own right. (Heck, I just got finished doing so this past week at a gameday). It's only if the person is intentionally expecting favoritism, or being petty for their character's fortunes in-game that it would be a problem.
My main DM's wife is also a player in the game. She tends to get pissed sometimes, as he won't show her (much) special treatment, so when things go sour, she can tend to get upset...
But that's more of his problem
At the end of the night, they seem to be fine about it and keep gaming and it hasn't impacted our game at all.
I also game with my wife and the only problem there is when one of us just isn't feeling the game - it can be a bit awkward to go to a gaming group where we normally game together and the other stays home, because we have a pretty static gaming group.
Although that usually just ends up with the dynamic of the game changing so everyone involved can enjoy it.
But that's more of his problem
At the end of the night, they seem to be fine about it and keep gaming and it hasn't impacted our game at all.I also game with my wife and the only problem there is when one of us just isn't feeling the game - it can be a bit awkward to go to a gaming group where we normally game together and the other stays home, because we have a pretty static gaming group.
Although that usually just ends up with the dynamic of the game changing so everyone involved can enjoy it.
el-remmen
Moderator Emeritus
Just like all other non-rules related "problems" in RPG - if there is a problem in the relationship in terms of him/her wanting/needing all of your attention, or not respecting your hobbies - then there will a problem in the game.
In other words, if causes a problem in your game, it might likely be a symptom of something else.
In other words, if causes a problem in your game, it might likely be a symptom of something else.
frankthedm
First Post
A huge problem I've noticed is that far too many gamers allow their SO to take control of the relationship. Whether it is weak will, inexperience dealing with the opposite gender or fear of the SO leaving them, far too many gamers let the spouse call the shots.
Oryan77
Adventurer
I DM our group and my fiance is a player. Two other players are married, and the last player is the loner of the group 
I've never had a problem or had anyone accuse me of playing favorites. The only thing that comes close is when I got new players and they came into an adventure that was already about my fiance's PC backstory. So since their PC's were new with no history to the campaign/NPC's, it may have seemed like my fiance got all of the attention. Those player's quit the group anyway. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if that was part of their reason to quit...they complained about everything.
I hope the current players don't think I play favorites. I don't think they do since I put the smackdown on everyone throughout the game. And I allow everyone to get as much face time as they want. I've given cool magic items to each player, so hopefully no one thinks others are getting anything better.
I've never had a problem or had anyone accuse me of playing favorites. The only thing that comes close is when I got new players and they came into an adventure that was already about my fiance's PC backstory. So since their PC's were new with no history to the campaign/NPC's, it may have seemed like my fiance got all of the attention. Those player's quit the group anyway. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if that was part of their reason to quit...they complained about everything.
I hope the current players don't think I play favorites. I don't think they do since I put the smackdown on everyone throughout the game. And I allow everyone to get as much face time as they want. I've given cool magic items to each player, so hopefully no one thinks others are getting anything better.
Stormborn
Explorer
Nikroecyst said:
It is you. As others have said I have DM'd for my girlfriend, who became my fiancee, who became my wife and its not really a problem.
However, I will agree that relationships in general can be a big problem for a DM at the table, especially relationships that are valued outside the table. However if everyone can be mature about it and handle things openly and honestly then thats not really a big deal either.
Perhaps you should say more about why you feel that way. Or are you just grousing a bit? Its OK, everyone does it, or needs to do it, occasionally. I was just wondering if you really do think having a GF/SO as a player is a big deal or if you are just reacting to something specific.
