Sounds frustrating. I will say, all of this is a bit amazing to us old guys! Like, an entire campaign is wrecked by a few PC deaths? I mean, yeah I get how a TPK breaks continuity in play, but if characters are fragile then maybe the continuity needs to be invested in something more durable.
Or maybe character death isn't the most interesting choice as far as consequences go?
Dunno. Might be worth a thought.
Look at it this way, back when the average goblin stood a 50/50 chance of ganking the fighter EVERY ROUND we just didn't fight goblins! Instead we ambushed them, with a bunch of hired mercs along to buffer against bad luck. And a henchman for each PC (aka a spare character).
Yes, I'm aware of the stylistic difference. I don't enjoy that kind of play. I find it, frankly, somewhere between "tedious" and "actively unpleasant".
So what I see is a big disparity between expectation and practice here. I'm not sure where it arises and to what degree it's coming out of the game's design. To my eye, and play experience, level 1-3 PCs seemed remarkably durable. We had some tough fights, one or two characters died. The game went on
It's not a disparity between expectation and practice.
It's a disparity between
described offering and practice.
The thing you describe is fundamentally unheroic, isn't really much of an
adventure and is instead a
heist, and isn't about characters but rather about environments.
D&D has not billed itself as an unheroic heist-of-the-month environmental-challenge logistics-focused game since
at least 3e, and arguably well before that; the shift got its first start all the way back in 1e, and was already well underway by early 2e. D&D has, by now,
long billed itself as a heroic adventure-of-the-month conflict-challenge* group-focused game, which has fundamentally different dynamics from the previous description. Instead of amoral heisters, D&D is looking at moralized (but not necessarily
moral themselves) adventurers; whether righting wrongs or wronging rights, the focus is on moral context, not on amount of wealth one can extract from a murder-hole. Instead of looking at things in terms of environmental obstacles and the logistics necessary to navigate them, it is focused on aligned or conflicting priorities and the group jointly responding to or advancing some priorities over others.
I'm interested in playing the game D&D has told me--for essentially all of my life--that it is about. I appreciate that you are looking at this from the perspective of someone wanting to play the game you originally played, the game you were originally sold and told about, the thing advertised
to you as what D&D was about. I think that style merits inclusion. I just don't think it's been what D&D has been about for, at this point, something like 30-35 years.
*Note that "conflict" does not solely mean "combat". Conflict can occur on various levels. Further, it's not that environment and logistics
don't at all matter, they just aren't the primary focus.