Finally, someone made a point earlier in thread that special selections often make that character more prominent in the game. I have been thinking about it a lot and looking back at my own history and this is often the case. That character gets more screen time because they are outside the norm. For example, the Gnome Paladin of the Goddess of Love who's father owned Wocket's Rockets and whose holy vestments were diaphanous robes and who stopped anytime they saw an burrowing animal because they wanted to talk to it. Memorable character and made themselves the center of the game.
I think this example highlights the disconnect between the "sides" here. It's not the only post to do so, just not interested in quote chaining them all. This is not a criticism of you, Belen, or the example you give here, as you are rightfully and simply expressing a lived experience.
But with regards to the broader conversation, the pushback from the "DM side" of things seems to center on wanting to counter problematic playstyles with an indiscriminate fix that burns the players who are not there to steal the spotlight or to pursue mechanics, they're just there to enjoy the game like everyone else.
This conversation ultimately just feels like looping around and around the perception of red flags in either the player or the DM corner, a conversation without resolution often because so many will force the other's response into being a bad faith interpretation.
From my perspective, the pushback from both sides often highlights real red flags within their own corners. When the positions become as intractable and universal as many of those shared here, those are huge red flags in my opinion. It's a 'my way or the highway' attitude, and whether it's from the DM or the player, it suggests continued problems down the line even if there's concession from the other. And I think a large reason for why it's being so often disregarded within one's own corner is that we can get so precious about what we do or create that we don't even realize when we've crossed the line.
Of course, by the nature of the internet and this being an online forum, I do acknowledge that just because the positions are often presented as intractable and universal doesn't mean that's true in actual practice.