Transformers

[Shayuri]

So, just because I have to tell the internet how I feel about every movie I see, this one was a badly made, horribly written, entertaining movie. Kinda like Spider-Man 3.

Too many characters. Too many unnecessary scenes. Terrible designs for the robots, and an apparent unwillingness to actually show the damned things on camera. I have practically no idea what most of the Decepticons look like in robot form, because of the badly-framed shots that shook all the time.

Oh, and making out with your girlfriend on top of an intelligent robot while other robots watch?! 8-O What the hell?!

I have to agree. In fact, I have to go farther.

My big beefs are as follows:

1) For an "action movie," there sure wasn't much action. You have to wait nearly -half the movie- before you get your first really good fight. What do they spend all this time on? Setting up characters? No. They spend it pointlessly teasing us with the "mystery" of what's going on. I promise Mr. Bay...NO ONE who sees this movie will -for one second- not know what's going on. The movie would have been a lot better (not saying much) if it had started out with the Transformers already on Earth (all of the Transformers, I mean), and the opening scenes were used to establish MUCH NEEDED characterizations.

2) When the action started, you couldn't SEE it. Most of the time the camera was either so shaky, or so close to the scene that the frame simply wasn't big enough to show more than...a leg whizzing by, or a momentary glimpse of a torso.

3) Only the Autobots got any noncombat screen time, and what time THEY got was HORRIBLE! 30' robots -sneaking around the kid's house so as not to get caught?- While muttering complaints. Making -pee jokes-. I just...gah! It was as if Bay watched the TV show and said, "Well, these robots are cool and all, but we need to DUMB IT DOWN a bit."

Etc etc...I could go on for ages.

And, like Spiderman 3, what really hurts is that this movie was maybe 2 rewrites (Admittedly, rather drastic ones) away from being a passable, even good movie! If the scriptwriter had just stuck to his guns, picked a focus and went with it...if he'd been able to write decent dialogue and didn't get hobbled with demands to make the Autobots act like frathouse goons, and to completely ignore the Decepticons... If Bay knew how to frame shots and spread the budget more evenly between beginning and end (CGI wise that is)... If if if.

But they didn't. And it isn't.

Mew.

 

[John Crichton]

I have to agree. In fact, I have to go farther.

My big beefs are as follows:

1) For an "action movie," there sure wasn't much action. You have to wait nearly -half the movie- before you get your first really good fight.

Except for the very first sequence.

2) When the action started, you couldn't SEE it. Most of the time the camera was either so shaky, or so close to the scene that the frame simply wasn't big enough to show more than...a leg whizzing by, or a momentary glimpse of a torso.

Saw it in digital (twice, now) some things were a little hard to see from time to time but the action was excellent. A leg? A torso? I saw much more than that.

3) Only the Autobots got any noncombat screen time, and what time THEY got was HORRIBLE! 30' robots -sneaking around the kid's house so as not to get caught?- While muttering complaints. Making -pee jokes-. I just...gah! It was as if Bay watched the TV show and said, "Well, these robots are cool and all, but we need to DUMB IT DOWN a bit."

The movie was full of cheese, this was simply part of it.

And, like Spiderman 3, what really hurts is that this movie was maybe 2 rewrites (Admittedly, rather drastic ones) away from being a passable, even good movie! If the scriptwriter had just stuck to his guns, picked a focus and went with it...if he'd been able to write decent dialogue and didn't get hobbled with demands to make the Autobots act like frathouse goons, and to completely ignore the Decepticons... If Bay knew how to frame shots and spread the budget more evenly between beginning and end (CGI wise that is)... If if if.

Frathouse goons? I don't get the reference. They are bad-ass warriors on a new world, simply put. There wasn't enough Decepticon interaction, I admit, but it did not hurt the movie.

I believe you missed the point or simply went in with expectations that were not met. It's a movie, based off a toy-line made by a notorious over-the-top director who likes lots of patriotic cheese in his movies along with huge explosions.

Stuff blew up real good, there were some classic lines in there. I don't see the problem.

 

[John Crichton]

So, just because I have to tell the internet how I feel about every movie I see, this one was a badly made, horribly written, entertaining movie. Kinda like Spider-Man 3.

Badly made? You're nuts. That thing was pure popcorn entertainment and felt from beginning to end like a Transformers movie.

Too many characters. Too many unnecessary scenes. Terrible designs for the robots, and an apparent unwillingness to actually show the damned things on camera. I have practically no idea what most of the Decepticons look like in robot form, because of the badly-framed shots that shook all the time.

Does it really matter what they look like in their non vehicle forms? If you are really that interested, try a GIS for some designs, screensots, etc.

Oh, and making out with your girlfriend on top of an intelligent robot while other robots watch?! 8-O What the hell?!

Um. If the robots had a problem with it, they would have done something. Like mom, Bubblebee and Prime were probably proud of their new charge.

After all, it's what teenagers do.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Except for the very first sequence.

Not to mention that while the the plot was setting up during the beginning of the film, they would cut to Qatar and Scorponok provided a great deal of action early on. Yes, there was a bit of a dry spot after, but by then the Autobots had all shown up and it was good times.

I can't believe people didn't like the 'hiding around the house' scene. Sure, nothing was blowing up, but it was fun.

 

[John Crichton]

Not to mention that while the the plot was setting up during the beginning of the film, they would cut to Qatar and Scorponok provided a great deal of action early on. Yes, there was a bit of a dry spot after, but by then the Autobots had all shown up and it was good times.

Couldn't agree more. Sure, there was some pointless exposition in there, but if it wasn't there is zero weight to the proceedings at all.

I can't believe people didn't like the 'hiding around the house' scene. Sure, nothing was blowing up, but it was fun.

That sequence was pretty fun and topped off nicely by the gag at the end.

 

[Halivar]

The movie would have been a lot better (not saying much) if it had started out with the Transformers already on Earth (all of the Transformers, I mean), and the opening scenes were used to establish MUCH NEEDED characterizations.

I disagree; I thought Bay did a fine job characterizing each Autobot, giving them personality and individuality. I think some screenwriters/directors go too heavy on the characterization and end up with some embarrassing melodramatic scenes. Mikaela's character, for instance, had a good handle on her without the whole "I used to steal cars and now I'm angsty" schtick. Too much characterization, IMHO. In an action movie (an "event" narrative, as opposed to a "character" narrative or "milieu" narrative.), you only need as much characterization as it takes to 1) provide motivation for the characters to do what they do and 2) move the events in the story along. Bay did a good job here.

Only the Autobots got any noncombat screen time, and what time THEY got was HORRIBLE! 30' robots -sneaking around the kid's house so as not to get caught?- While muttering complaints. Making -pee jokes-. I just...gah! It was as if Bay watched the TV show and said, "Well, these robots are cool and all, but we need to DUMB IT DOWN a bit."

I think Bay was staying true to the source material, which was childishly comical in places (places? I mean whenever they weren't harmlessly shooting at each other).

So, just because I have to tell the internet how I feel about every movie I see, this one was a badly made, horribly written, entertaining movie. Kinda like Spider-Man 3.

HERETIC!!!!

Inquisitor: Has the imperial magistrate reached a verdict?

Quintesson: I have.

Inquistitor: Guilty or innocent?

Quintesson: Innocent.

Inquisitor: Feed him to the Sharkticons.

RangerWickett: Aaaaaaaa.......

Quintesson: Hahahahahaha*change faces*hahahahahahaha*change faces*hahahahahaha*change faces*hahahahahahaha.

 

[Evil Monkey]

I'm sure that if the first movie does well, we might see more product placement in the sequel, which would allow for the addition of other Gen 1 Transformers like Sideswipe (Lamborgini), and Sunburt or Sunray or whatever his name was (yellow car, Lotus or something?).

The trivia for the movie on IMDB.com said that the movie's makers had a deal with GM so that all the cars were GM models (one of a couple reasons why Bumblebee was the Camaro instead of the Bug and Jazz was a Pontiac instead of a Porsche; the other reason being VW and Porsche no longer wanted their cars assocated with 'war toys'.). I would be surprised if that was changed for the sequels.

 

[Shayuri]

Except for the very first sequence.

-- I meant a fight. An actual robot on robot fight. Watching a robot blow up a base isn't the same thing...at least that's not how I saw it.

Saw it in digital (twice, now) some things were a little hard to see from time to time but the action was excellent. A leg? A torso? I saw much more than that.

-- Some shots were worse than others, yes, and some (like Starscream taking out the F22's) were even kind of cool. What I should have said was that the action scenes, the few there were, were often filmed and/or framed badly, denying the audience a good view. Not always, just often.

The movie was full of cheese, this was simply part of it.

-- Far -too- full of cheese. And it wasn't good cheese. It wasn't even cheese that was so bad it's good. It was just...tedious, numbing cheese. The worst kind there is.

Frathouse goons? I don't get the reference. They are bad-ass warriors on a new world, simply put. There wasn't enough Decepticon interaction, I admit, but it did not hurt the movie.

-- I couldn't disagree with you more. The autobots never once came off to me as "bad ass warriors on a new world." Silly shenanigans and bathroom humor just don't create that impression. Honestly, I would have thought a Transformer's fan would have hated and been humiliated by that entire sequence.

I believe you missed the point or simply went in with expectations that were not met. It's a movie, based off a toy-line made by a notorious over-the-top director who likes lots of patriotic cheese in his movies along with huge explosions.

-- And I believe the point was "to sell toys." Just like the cartoons. I really didn't go in with many expectations. I went in with hope. Tender, wide-eyed hopes that Mr Bay took great delight in clubbing like the winsome seal cubs they so resembled.

Stuff blew up real good, there were some classic lines in there. I don't see the problem.

-- Stuff blowing up and a few catchphrases do not a movie make. That's the problem.

My take on it anyway. Lest this get out of hand, I should make it clear I don't hold it -against- anyone if they saw it and liked it. I'm just glad I only paid five bucks to see it is all.

 

[Asmor]

Stuff blowing up and a few catchphrases do not a movie make. That's the problem.

That's pretty much the definition of a summer action flick. Methinks you may have been looking for something other than what this movie actually is.

 

[Shayuri]

Yes. I was looking for a -good- movie. (sorry, couldn't resist )

Seriously though, just because a lot of summer actions flicks aren't any more than that doesn't mean that that's all they CAN be.

Lets set our sights a bit higher here, people.

And really, I dunno what to say. A lot of the time I LIKE relatively mindless action movies. Not as much as mind-ful action movies, but I still like them. Transformers really just failed on every level for me except that of visual effects...and visual effects alone aren't enough to carry a movie for me.

I honestly don't think my expectations for Transformers were any different than they were for any other action movie I've seen yet. It just failed to measure up, in my estimation.

I'm just as befuddled to see all these glowing reviews as you all must be to see mine, believe me.