I think it changes little in actual gameplay regardless of how the official rules discuss the identification of the spell. I figure it comes down to two actual scenarios that occur:
1) DM: The enemy wizard casts a fireball! Roll your dex saves.
Handsome and witty wizard: I cast counterspell
DM: You brilliant bastard. The fireball fizzles before it manifests.
2) DM: The enemy wizard casts something. You're not sure what it was
Handsome and witty wizard: I use my reaction to identify the spell
DM: You brilliant bastard. He cast a major illusion, on a side note, a dragon just showed up that would have been more intimidating if you didn't know that.
I too think those rules are rather clunky and remind me of Magic the Gathering tourney rules, where you have to ask ok? whenever your opponent gets priority.
1) But I think the DM's failure to ask shouldn't really influence the rating much. That would be like rating illusions low because some players don't know what to do with them.
2) There are fairly few spells coming to mind where knowing really helps (illusions mostly).
With those rules in place, and the DM actually enforcing them, I cannot really imagine upcasting Counterspell much anymore. This seems to make the Improved Abjuration feature much better. I would probably try find a better house rule for this though.
After gathering more experience playing, I gathered some critique for your ratings:
Abjuration school: I think this is the overall strongest wizard school. The reason being that your low tankiness is a god wizards biggest weakness. If your group is dungeon crawling a lot and your wizard can hide in the back row, you don't need much tankiness. But in my group, where most encounters are in open spaces, my wizard gets targeted quite often. Smart opponents should also follow the target the mage tactic. Arcane Ward becomes very helpful in those situations. The Abjurers features are not as flashy as e.g. Portent, but I think the concentration save avoiding extra HP are very strong mechanically.
Feats: Alert should be sky blue. It really is that good for wizards. So many very potent wizard spells work best when winning initiative. See Hypnotic Pattern.
Counterspell: You might want to point out the spell's range is only 30 ft.Too many people seem to forget.
Hypnotic Pattern: I know I argued for the spell to get demoted to green because of the issue of friendly fire. But after winning unwinnable fights with it, I changed my mind. This one really requires the wizard to win initiative. But if you do, boy does it annoy my DM. The fact that this spell does not allow additional saves at level 3 makes it sky blue imho. Hypnotic pattern is somewhat circumstantial, but in those circumstances it divides encounters in two like wall of force. Slow is an excellent complementary memorization for those circumstances where Hypnotic Pattern doesn't work.
Evard's Black Tentacles: I'm still not sure those 3d6 damage and easier get-out are worth the 2 extra levels over Web. It seems mostly like a higher risk/reward proposition to me. Not something worth 2 extra levels in my opinion. I'd rather go up one more level, cast transmute rock to mud, ditching the concentration and adding double difficult terrain so even creatures making their save have a hard time getting through.
Transmute Rock: I would rate this spell purple. It is close enough to Evard's in many situations but it has a huge area and most importantly no concentration! This is the only melee group screwing spell without concentration. Even with the shortcomings of the spell's control utility (Wall of Force is simply way better control), the no concentration aspect of the spell makes it very valuable for a high level god wizard. It is a bad pick at level 9, but a great one later.
Otto's Irresistible Dance: I know, this one had a ton of discussion already. The purpose of this spell is simply to trade your action against the action of the BBEG. Some BBEG are very difficult to attack with spells because of their legendary saves. Depending on your group and the encounter, trading your action against an action of the BBEG can be very strong.
A very situational spell, but especially good in situations where most other spells tend to be underwhelming. There are not many great spells to open difficult group vs strong loner battles for god wizards.
Reverse Gravity: This one is pretty much the same as in 3.5, except for the concentration mechanic. I do not really get why it is rated lower.
I'm glad you're back and well! I'm looking forward to interesting input on 5e spells.