I have seen some deeply troubling films in my day, and by and large the group here as identified them (except people who think the LoTR films are bad. You people are either fools or satanists
). But the one that takes the cake has got to either be
Slipstream or
Laserhawks, both starring Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill.
Outside of Star Wars and the voice of the Joker, Hamill is widely panned as a terrible actor. In his defense, he is not what makes either of the two films listed above bad. He is simply caught in a train wreck of horrible cinema...a train wreck from which there can be no escape. I have lost no less than 3 hours to these films, and should I ever meet God, I swear I will demand the hours I spent watching those two films be repaid.
The funny thing is, I didn't even pick out these movies. Clarissa, I curse you! Why do you keep making me watch this crap?
Oh yeah! That also brings to mind
Tombraider I (Let's see...the ends of the earh...how about Cambodia and Siberia...which are on the SAME CONTINENT!) and
Gia. Both are Angelina Jolie stinkers. Absolutely terrible. I know someone is going to respond, reminding me how pretty Jolie is, and how that makes these last two films, at least, redeamable. I'm sorry--half a boob (and no nipple) in Tombraider, and god knows HOW MUCH awkward nudity in Gia cannot save them. RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES if you have not seen them!
*shudders* Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go poke out my eyes with an ice pick to purge the memories.
