"Well, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back..."

[tburdett]

Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid. Do not watch this movie. A group of us were at the video store and could not agree on what movie to rent. I pulled this movie off of the shelf and said, "With that title it has got to be good for a few laughs." I could not have been more wrong. You have been warned. For those who have not heard of this movie (probably 99% of the population), here is the synopsis.

A big fatso with a Mohawk haircut escapes from an insane asylum and is befriended by two rich kids who provide him with romance and fun-filled adventures.

(excerpt from a review)

It's as bad as you can imagine. Maybe worse. John Golden directed and let's hope somebody blinds him with hot pokers before he gets the chance to pick up another movie camera.

I would volunteer!

 

[jdavis]

I mean COME ON - FIVE MINUTES?
What possibly was on screen in 5 minutes that made you want to gouge your eyes out?

Three words for ya (ok two words and a number) Mortal Kombat 2. "Hey who's this guy they got to play Jonny Cage...... Oh never mind." Sad part is I knew 5 minutes in but I still watched the whole darn thing, every stinking minute. Some movies are so bad they are funny (D&D) and some movies make you want to punch them in the head (well if a movie had a head). MK2 deserves bad things to happen to it and all involved, if I knew voodoo I'd curse them all.

others: well I think I might of mentioned this little movie called Cabin Fever a little while back, I think I made my feelings obvious then, no need for me to re-live that trama by talking about it again. If they had ever made a Highlander 2 and if I had went to see it and if my best friend had stood up in the middle of it and yelled "Planet Ziest, What the Hell" and tried to leave but I made him stay because "surely it's got to get better", then I would of owed him a real big apology now wouldn't I (By the way changing "Planet Ziest" to "A long long time ago" didn't save the Renagade version from being the same crap, at least Planet Ziest made a little sense). The Tuxido.......... I felt like Jackie Chan was actually kicking me in the stomach while watching it.

I've watched a lot of bad movies, and I mean really bad movies (If you see a movie called Teenage Caveman coming on, run out of the house, changing the channel isn't good enough, I've seen it twice. I also own a copy of Hell Comes to Frogtown) but there is only one movie I have ever walked out of and that honor goes to Beverly Hillbillies the movie.

 

[reapersaurus]

Three words for ya (ok two words and a number) Mortal Kombat 2.

(By the way changing "Planet Ziest" to "A long long time ago" didn't save the Renagade version from being the same crap, at least Planet Ziest made a little sense).

While MK2 was horrendous, I give it props for attempting fantasy martial arts. If it wasn't for the Sonya Blade mud fight, it could be proud of what it attempted.
And I like that it killed off a major character within 5 minutes - what better way to keep the audience guessing, and heighten the epic, vengeance nature of the film?

(that last sentence is just joking - ha - got you!)

But at least the characters remembered their desire to avenge the major character that got killed throughout the film - unlike how Alien3 ditched Hicks and Newt with not so much as a whimper.

As for the Renegade Version of TFTSNBN (The Film That Shall Not Be Named), as I remember, the changes they made were even less believable than the Planet Zeist crap - I think it even directly contradicted itself, or something, when the past became the present/future.

 

[Villano]

and how is this thread different from the "Worst Movies of All Time thread?

Maybe there's some distinction between the 2 categories, but damned if I can tell what it is...

Oddly enough, it seems to me (at least) that I'd rather get back the 2 hrs I spent watching a mediocre film than an out and out terrible one. For example, Jason Takes Manhattan was incredibly bad, but I don't regret watching it. OTOH, I got a Bulletproof Monk dvd (for $5 from a video store that was going out of business) and I still haven't finished it. I've watched it on and off about 4 times and I still have at least a half hour to go. I wouldn't say that it's a worse film that F13: JTM, but sitting through it is like going on a 6 hour bus trip.

LotR was an okay movie, but it was so damn long and I got so little out of watching it that I wish I could get that time back.

I do wish I could get my time back from Batman & Robin, which is one of the worst films I've ever seen. It was just so offensively stupid it was like a bad trip to the dentist.

 

[Chain Lightning]

I do wish I could get my time back from Batman & Robin, which is one of the worst films I've ever seen. It was just so offensively stupid it was like a bad trip to the dentist.

Well, even I would settle on a painful trip to the dentist than watch "Batman & Robin". At least my teeth would be cleaned. Something would be accomplished. With "Batman & Robin"...there is only pain and despair.

Speaking of which.....I hate to judge a movie based off just a few pics and a magazine synopsis, but somethings you can just see coming a mile away. That being the case, I'm staying way clear of the "Catwoman" movie with Halle Berry that's coming out.

 

[Endur]

13th Warrior is one of those films that gets much better after you watch it a couple of times.

And now I own the film on DVD, and it's one of my favourite movies. I'm playing a ranger in a PbEM who I've lifted almost whole from Edgtho the Silent. I can sit and watch the "Choosing the Warriors" scene on repeat for half an hour without getting bored.
.

 

[jdavis]

While MK2 was horrendous, I give it props for attempting fantasy martial arts. If it wasn't for the Sonya Blade mud fight, it could be proud of what it attempted.
And I like that it killed off a major character within 5 minutes - what better way to keep the audience guessing, and heighten the epic, vengeance nature of the film?

(that last sentence is just joking - ha - got you!)

But at least the characters remembered their desire to avenge the major character that got killed throughout the film - unlike how Alien3 ditched Hicks and Newt with not so much as a whimper.

As for the Renegade Version of TFTSNBN (The Film That Shall Not Be Named), as I remember, the changes they made were even less believable than the Planet Zeist crap - I think it even directly contradicted itself, or something, when the past became the present/future.

It gave me a deepseeded desire for revenge too. Of course it seems Jonny Cage will be in MK3......... oh boy.

I remember watching the Renagade version and thinking to myself "they actually found a way to make this movie worse", which was no small accomplishment.

 

[Tsyr]

I never saw the movie in the theatre, but I did buy the DVD because I had enjoyed the first movie. I have given it away, or tried to, twice now. The first time the person watched it and, this is not a lie, then forced me to take it back. The second person had already seen it and did not want it. Sad.

Hell, I'll take it... I actually kinda liked the movie.

 

[tetsujin28]

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

I had heard so many great things about this movie, but after seeing it I obviously didn't feel the same way...
LW

Boy. Uh...whatever.

 

[tetsujin28]

Requiem for a Dream. So laughably bad, I can only...laugh.