What It's Like For a Gamer Girl

[Pielorinho]

Get a room, you two!

Nuh uh!
Daniel

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

I'm guessing you don't live in Vancouver...otherwise you would most likely already be at my table .

Nope, St. Louis. But I'd probably fit like a glove.

I need to visit Vancouver. Is it really becoming more like Amsterdam with "coffee" shops operating in the open?

 

[d20Dwarf]

Sorry. But when you say things that are intended to "Make Teflon Billy's skin crawl" (by your very admission) I can only think that You are doing it to make my skin crawl. I feel that someone Making my skin crawl is a hurtful act and and feel appropriately hurt.

When I am hurt, I can only feel as if you are Dead to me.

Dammit, I was away from the thread so long someone stole my joke!

Teflon-I'll also say that my group of friends sounds just like yours. We are some mean sunsabitches to each other, rude, competitive, and frank. But, we're also some of the best friends I've ever seen and have been hanging around with each other for between 8 and 22 years.

Oh, and my girlfriend hates gaming with my friends because of it.

 

[EarthsShadow]

Another book to consider reading is Don't Sweat the Small STuff - It's All Small Stuff. It doesn't go into the whole male-female thing, but it does go into the little things in life that most people worry about and take way out of proportion in general, everyday situations. It's easy to read and relatively cheap.

You can talk with them, figure out where they are coming from, and if this is a case of them treating you as 'one of the guys,' then congrats, they think of you as one of them and despite what you may think, they respect you by treating you that way... its weird, but that's how many guys are.

If its a case of them just being jerks, however, then find another group (if possible), or make sure they know how you feel because if you haven't talked to them about it, then they might not even realize what they are doing.

 

[EarthsShadow]

Nuh uh!
Daniel

We won't think anything less if you two get a room...honest.

 

[barsoomcore]

There's nothing so penetrating as an outside opinion.

Want to know what people in your country are like? Live in another. Want to know what makes your native language unique? Learn some other tongue.

Want to know how you've been relating to the world all your life? Spend some time hanging out with somebody who relates to it in a very different way.

It'll probably irritate you at first. Unless you're Teflon Billy, it might hurt your feelings. But honestly, don't throw your arms up in the air and say "These people are jerks!" or "I'll never understand this!" Pay attention, apply half a brain cell to what they're doing and it will make sense to you most of the time. And suddenly you'll see your own behaviour in a whole new light.

You may not change, but just understanding that not everybody hears what you think you're saying makes you a much better communicator. It makes you realise that you may not be hearing what that cow in your gaming group thinks SHE'S saying.

None of which dilutes the pleasure of beating your best friend's too-hasty argument into a bloody pulp with the unyeilding hammer of Factual Reference.

Flexor == come to Vancouver! I don't promise Amsterdam, but there is no shortage of fun to be had. And at least TWO gaming tables where a fellow ENWorlder is welcome!

 

[The Sigil]

Amazing. Simply Amazing. My wife's words, almost exactly.

My wife, paragon of direct action that she is, has often said of some women she worked with long ago, "I'd rather you stab me in the front - that way, I can at least defend myself."

This actually explains a lot about the popularity of Dr. Phil.

-The Sigil

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

Flexor == come to Vancouver! I don't promise Amsterdam, but there is no shortage of fun to be had. And at least TWO gaming tables where a fellow ENWorlder is welcome!

I'd love to take you up on that offer.

My and my best friend, not a gamer unfortunately, have been talking about getting in the car next summer and driving up to Canada. We were talking about Toronto to see the NHL hall of fame, but he's scared of SARS. He thinks Toronto is a city of walking death or something. sheesh. But we have talked about Vancouver a lot. Now he bought a Hummer so the trip would be a blast. Road blocked? Go off road, hell that thing will drive through rivers!

 

[barsoomcore]

Toronto IS a city of the walking dead. That's where we keep them.

 

[Felix]

I present you with three saying, all of which have similar meanings and might assist you in your difficulty.

-- The master marksman, when he misses a shot, looks to himself for the source of the failure.

-- Take the log out of your own eye before you remove the mote from another's. (paraphrased from the Bible)

-- When you meet more than one A-hole a week, you're it.

A related story: I lived in Beijing, China for a year. When I first got there, I had a hard time getting around, communicating with folks, yada yada. And my Chinese was pretty good, so the probem wasn't what I was saying: it was how I was saying it. When surrounded by 12 million Chinese people, I adjusted by speaking style and mannerisms (eg, don't maintain eye contact for too long; it's rude). By the end of the year, my Chinese had improved, but my communication skills with a different culture had been built wonderfully.

It is so suprising that men and women communicate differently? Folks before me have said it, so I won't bother.

One last thing; I find women to be completely unfathomable, thick-skulled, neurotic, frustrating, irritating, confusing, and baffaling. And I wouldn't have it any other way.