Your attempts at discussion confuse me, it seems you're mostly dissing me.
Apologies - my first response to you was inviting you to brainstorm from a field of possibilities that met both our requirements, and I took the tone of "why, I have my answer already" a bit negatively.
I am also not sure that choosing some middle point between diametrically opposed views is so much fertile ground for creative solutions, rather than a recipe for incoherent compromise that pleases no one. Though I of course would be glad to be proven wrong on that.
I don't see how there can be a middle point because there's no axis. It's like one of us saying "I don't like fried foods" and the other saying "I don't like sherbet" - our requirements don't fall on a spectrum, but rather just black out sections of a large field.
I quoted one published solution that you found acceptable, so we know there is room for something besides "incoherent compromise".
But in sprit of attempting to be, if not creative, at least constructive, I repeat my question: what is the problem you feel the 13th Age's encounter count based rests solves? And why you find gritty rests unsatisfying?
I though I had detailed that - I want power refresh not to be under the control of the player, even roughly such as by passage of time.
To go into more detail, I want the pacing of power refreshes to be a tool for the DM, without assuming that every DM will force the issue every adventure, such as putting a time limit in. That could be because it's regular and the DM can plan around it (like what I quoted from 13th Age), because it irrelevant (like pre-essentials 4e where all of the characters had the same power refresh structure sans a few utility powers), or even more directly under the DM control (like only taking refreshing powers at a sanctuary or between adventures).
I just went back and read your altered gritty rest mechanic. It is close to fitting my requirements to, except for the issue that some classes mostly refresh their expendables on a short rest like the warlock or monk, while others really don't, so there's still a significant player-controlled gap.
BTW, since the beginning I have been breaking out power refreshes - that is only half of the rest rules in 5e with the other half being spending HD (short rest) or fully healing and recovering long-term attrition (1 level of exhaustion and half your HD). How would you feel about this adjustment to your gritty rest rules:
All short rest refresh abilities move to Proficiency times per long rest, as seems to be the current trend.
Short rests still retain importance in spending HD, but there's no power refreshes under player control via time.