When Is It Time To Quit?

[dreaded_beast]

How do you know when it's time to quit or at least leave the group you are playing with?

I've been toying with the idea of quitting.

I find myself leaving a session more often than not, irritated, or at the very worst, pissed off at the group in general, but the other members of the group hardly know that since I keep it in most of the time.

This has been going on for quite some time. Sometimes, it doesn't even stem from the game, but from differences in personality and opinion with other members of the group.

The differences in personality and playing styles are starting to wear thin on me. I find myself keeping things bottled up inside and unable to talk to others because of fear of a negative reaction. Some members of the group dislike to be criticized or "talked back too".

As a result, people in the group hardly, if ever, go up to the person they have a problem with, but instead bitch about that person to someone else in the group and vice-versa. It becomes one big bitching-circle, with the person in question hardly, if ever, hearing what problems someone has with them. So nothing really gets resolved, just bitching and blowing off steam.

In addition, everyone in the group has different ideas of what they want out of the game. Some want role-play while others want hack-and-slash. I'm not saying that everyone should think a like, but for myself, it's starting to feel that the differences are preventing me from playing the type of game that I want to play.

I feel inhibited in the things that I can do because I feel that I should make sure that everyone in the group is in harmony and I don't want to do things that would upset the others in the group. But then, I see, in my opinion, other members in the group playing the way they want. It feels as if I am sacrificing my fun for the sake of the group and it seems as if the others are not doing the same. Not that they should, but then why should I?

It's getting to the point were I am seriously starting to think that the negatives of playing DnD or with this particular group are starting to outweigh the positives.

When do you know it's time to call it quits?

 

[Hand of Evil]

If you are thinking about it, it is time.
When you stop having fun, it is time.
When gaming is secondary to socializing (bitching), it is time.

 

[buzzard]

It's quite simple.
Are you having fun?
If no- quit.
You don't owe the group anything.

buzzard

 

[hong]

If you are thinking about it, it is time.

Ditto. If it's got to the stage where you're no longer having fun, then it's time to walk away. Not gaming is better than crappy gaming.

 

[diaglo]

having left 6 campaigns in the past 2 years over differences i feel qualified in giving some advice.

the first one i slogged thru for months thinking it will eventually get better. it never did. finally others were leaving for other reasons so i did also.

the second lasted a few months. but scheduling problems made it hard to remember what we did last session, etc...we also never had the same players there. it was like revolving doors. when the host left for a new job. i left for a new campaign.

the third i lasted one session. one guy (who wasn't even playing. he was the boyfriend of the only woman in the group)attacked the DM and tried to bite him. way too weird for me.

the fourth was too high powered for my taste. the emails and talks i had with the DM didn't express this. but when i started playing i soon realized. lasted 2 sessions.

the fifth was too far away. i drove 1.5 hrs there and 1.5 hrs home afterwards. that lasted 1 session.

the sixth was like playing in an anime game. it wasn't D&D to me. but i met several other players who felt the same way. we broke off to try a new campaign.

currently i'm in my seventh attempt at the new edition. you can read about it in my sig.







you need to decide where to draw your line. and when to say enough is enough. it gets easier with each time. and eventually if you have patience and a little luck you will find something more appealing.


i still haven't found exactly what i'm looking for, but at least everyone in my group knows that.


btw Original D&D(1974) is the only true game. All the other editions are poor imitations of the real thing.

 

[Hand of Evil]

You already know this, you are just hanging on because of a few of the people.

 

[diaglo]

Not gaming is better than crappy gaming.

i completely disagree. a bad day of gaming is better than a good day at work.

 

[Shallown]

I've had to leave groups and though hard it is always worth it. It is better to leave and still enjoy gaming then to have a negative experience taint gaming for you. This is pretty much true on any subject from religion to politics or relationships or any stripe.

What I did was make an announcement at the end of the night that it was my last night and gave all my reason's why. In both cases I felt I needed to do it, it was more a difference in styles and Personalities than anything. I still liked the people I played with just we weren't compatible game wise and that was most of the reason I was there. I gave them my ear for comments then left, not seeing them again but talked them a few times by phone afterwards.

Sometimes you have to do it. I think themost important advice is advice that applies in any situation. You are responsible for you and how the others react or try to draw you in. Make your decisions one you feel are right so no reason to take anything personally or become arguementative if they disagree. Its over so why breed bad feelings if they wish to do so let them.

Just my 3 cents, cause I'm a little bit smarter than I look... Thank God.


Later

 

[Harlock]

You've stated a couple of times that no one is talking to the right people, but that you are, basically, afraid of conflict. I say don't quit unless you at least give it one try. If, after talking about it, no one seems to care or want to change then I'd say it is time to find a new group. It's hard to find a group where everyone has the same playing styles and goals in an RPG, but surely there is a way to reach a middle ground. I know if I were on the other end of this situation I'd want and hope someone could come to me and try to hash it out like reasonable people. You never know what they'll say until you try.

 

[hong]

i completely disagree. a bad day of gaming is better than a good day at work.

What are you talking about, mang? You're a biologist at the CDC! You get to play with all the fun destroy-western-civilisation germs the rest of us only read about in the papers.

Okay, so there's a slight chance that you'll come down with some horrible, incurable flesh-eating disease that dissolves you from the inside out, but I'm sure that's nothing. I mean, it could be worse. You could be forced to play 3E, for example.