Why do women send mixed signals?

[Teflon Billy]

Paging Mr. Teflon Billy...Mr. Teflon Billy, please pick up the white courtesy phone...paging Mr. Teflon Billy...

I live to serve.

Why play games?

Any number of reasons, actually. None of which can be deduced from your post.

Maybe she, as you suspect, was trying to blow you off but attempted to do so gently. In that case, she was trying to either (A) Be Nice and let you down easy, or (B) she got a creepy vibe off you and didn't want to get you angry.

Think about it man, she barely knows you.

Maybe, as Xath suspects, she legitmately forgot about her weekend plans.

I've forgotten about things before. It happens. In this case she was either (A)Retarded and this happens all the time, or (B) Dealing with a normal, human mistake, and it's an anomaly.

I hope this isn't another one of those Hida/Majoru/Asperger Syndrome threads where people chime in, apparently unable to fathom such mindbending concepts as "Small Talk", "White Lies" and "Politeness" as ingredients in normal, healthy social interaction...because those are sad.

She told you to call her after the weekend right? I'm just not seeing a big, obvious game being played here Ken. She might be on the level. From your transcipt of your phonecall it sounds like she might've been preoccupied.

Call her after the weekend. If she's got another excuse, write her off.

So far you two have shared a phone call, so let's not start acting like she left you at the Altar, allright?

 

[Abstraction]

Simple answer: It's a dance -- the closer you move, the further back she moves; the faster you advance, the faster she retreats. If you back off a bit, she may advance. This goes on until she's figured you out or decided it's worth it to risk advancing when you advance.

So keep advancing until she has her back against a wall. Then you can ready an action!

Seriously, dude. Why do women send mixed signal/play games? Because they can. You would, too, if you could get away with it.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Seriously, dude. Why do women send mixed signal/play games? Because they can. You would, too, if you could get away with it.

That is a great answer

If it turns out that she is stringing you along, think on this man's answer.

Solid.

 

[EricNoah]

If it turns out that she is stringing you along, think on this man's answer.

I think it's more likely that she changed her mind. I haven't known a whole lot of real hard-core "stringer-alongers" ... though there was this one girl ... ugh, can't even stand to think about it. It was the worst date ever, utterly humiliating ... and I've never been more proud of myself because of how I handled it (I just got up and walked out in the middle of it, didn't make a scene, and did make sure she could get home ok, but didn't let her use me). That night I learned that I wasn't nearly as desperate as I thought I was.

 

[Teflon Billy]

I think it's more likely that she changed her mind. I haven't known a whole lot of real hard-core "stringer-alongers" ... though there was this one girl ... ugh, can't even stand to think about it. It was the worst date ever, utterly humiliating ... and I've never been more proud of myself because of how I handled it (I just got up and walked out in the middle of it, didn't make a scene, and did make sure she could get home ok, but didn't let her use me). That night I learned that I wasn't nearly as desperate as I thought I was.

Part of becoming a man is having a night like that

I've had more than one...so I guess I am an Ubermensch

 

[atom crash]

She told you to call her after the weekend right? I'm just not seeing a big, obvious game being played here Ken. She might be on the level. From your transcipt of your phonecall it sounds like she might've been preoccupied.

Call her after the weekend. If she's got another excuse, write her off.

This is sound advice. Call her early next week, like late Monday afternoon or anytime Tuesday. If she doesn't want to make plans then, or if she makes plans but backs out again, then don't pursue her anymore.

It's generally acceptable to allow people the benefit of the doubt once. But if it happens more than once, then either she's not interested or committing to plans is a problem for her. Either way you don't need any of that.

 

[EricNoah]

Part of becoming a man is having a night like that

If nothing else it helps you find out where and what your limits are.

Bringing this back to Ken's issue, maybe you need to find out where your limits are? Are you going to let one last-minute change of plans keep you from trying with this woman? If you fill your head with "she's playing games" or "she's sending mixed signals" it's going to be hard to put that aside and have a good time on a date with her if/when she does decide to go out with you. That kind of resentment shines through and is unattractive at best. I'd say let it slide, try to stay positive, see what you can put together next week, and if not, c'est la vie, keep on looking...

 

[KenM]

Thanks for everyones input. I'm about to tell you people something I have not shared with that many people. I have Asperger Syndrome. Basically I have a very hard time reading body laguage, social cues, ect.. I really dislike large social situations and I shy away from them. I have trouble making "small talk", ect.. So when someone says "lets meet for dinner", i think thats what she wants to do.

 

[barsoomcore]

Why do women send mixed signal/play games? Because they can. You would, too, if you could get away with it.

Um, so far as I know, he CAN get away with it. And, unless he's spectacularly different from every human being I've ever met, he probably does. It's not like women hold a monopoly on playing games.

It's just that when you're a straight guy, there's no other game that seems quite so important to win.

 

[devilbat]

She can't make dinner because she has to make plans for the weekend? Riiiight, sounds to me like an upgraded "need to wash my hair". If she wanted to get together, she would have made it work. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move it right along.