D&D 5E Xanthian pun-spells

[abe ray]

mage farmer:you conjure a farmer that lobs Vegetables at foes for 1d4 damage (1 vegetable per level) and mage band: this spell conjures up a LOUD band that deafens foes that fail a con save for about 1d12 days (my best guess)
Now my question is this: how would you make these spells better? (mage band is 4th level fyi)
Also what other punny types of spells would you recommend?( my character is a scientist wild soul from xanth.

 

[Lakesidefantasy]

Well you definitely want to have your "Lantern Jaw"

 

[mellored]

Fire ball.
Casting time: 1 hour, cost 25gp worth of ruby dust.
Duration: 8 hours
Range: Self
You create a fancy flamed themed party within 200'. Anyone in the area is covered in harmless decorative frames. Warm, well cooked food and drink with a little spice are served by docile flame elemental with enough to feed 50 people.
All creatures in the area have advantage on Persuasion and Performance checks, and disadvantage on Intimidation. Any creature attempting any hostile action takes 3d6 fire damage.

 

[Charlaquin]

Oh, Xanth… such a bizarre book series…

 

[aco175]

I thought fireball and mass fireball.

How about Mage Fan. I thought it would mostly fly around and fan you from the heat and flies.

Lightning Bug. Just enough of a pest to force a concentration check each round.

True Sprite. Not the Pepsi knock-off. Now made with real sprites. Can be modified, but not with New Coke.

 

[Gradine]

Some things are better left in the past. Like Xanth. Especially Xanth

Now, puns on the other hand, are always welcome.

The D&D podcast The Adventure Zone had a magical item that allowed them to alter the effect of a spell by changing one letter in it. The item's description involved the example of changing Cause fear into Cause bear.

Sadly they only used it one time, I think, to change Divine Word into Divine Wood (one of PCs souls was inhabiting a wooden mannequin at the time... it was a whole thing)

 

[Lakesidefantasy]

Antimagic Fold - As a reaction, you can redirect a spell cast at you to anyone else the you can see (within the remaining range of the spell) with a successful arcane attack roll. Alternatively, you can redirect it harmlessly into the 4th dimension, effectively negating the spell, or you can send the spell through time where it's effects will take place at your current location in 3d4 cryptic rounds (rolled secretly).

 

[Stormonu]

The obvious one:

Feather Fall - you cause a rain of colorful feathers to softly drift down in a 20' area. Usually chicken feathers, but you can change to taste and local wildlife.

Lightening Bolt - the target randomly runs around, as if unencumbered.

 

[Lakesidefantasy]

Vanishment - When you cast this spell one willing creature you are touching is sent to a random location on your current plane of existence. This exact location is unknown to the caster, and once there the subject is supplied with an unassuming job, an assumed name, a modest dwelling, and a new life.

 

[Marc Radle]

Some things are better left in the past. Like Xanth. Especially Xanth

I don’t mean to derail the thread, but why do you say that? I remember reading at least one Xanth book back in the day and liked it (though I don’t actually remember much about it specifically)