[ENboards Boston Event] Feng Shui: Six in the Chamber

[Dr Midnight]

THE CHARACTERS

CHEN YAU (Dareoon)
A maverick cop with a blatant disregard for authority and a shining talent for blowing things up. Is constantly in trouble with his carmudgeonly captain. Has been threatened with being “busted down” to lower ranks of law enforcement so many times that it’s become routine.

CHAI TONG (Piratecat)
An old master of a deadly fighting style, Mr. Tong enjoys soap operas and condescending one-liners. His greatest desire was to pass his deadly styles on to his son… but his son has opted to become a lawyer. He teaches Tommy “Wok” Lo.

“CUDDLY” JACK STARKEY (Chronosome)
Cuddly Jack is a big bruiser from Australia. Despite his size and intimidating appearance, he’s as friendly… and cuddly… as they come. He’s 300 lbs of barrel-chested outback warrior. He recently took an icepick in the left eye, which brought him to the hospital for a “quick stitch job”.

TOMMY “WOK” LO (Umbran)
Tommy is a martial artist who trains under the hard direction of Chai Tong. He’s obedient and eager to learn. He takes his master’s insults with gentle patience as he absorbs his lessons.

CARL ROGERS (DaveLozzi)
Carl is a rather sleazy-looking janitor who works at the hospital. He mops all night, often working double shifts. He rather resembles the greasy-haired car attendant in the Chicago garage in “Ferris Bueller”… in fact, he’s played by the same actor.

DAMON EARLY (KidCthulu)
Damon is a killer. He works for the Wu crime syndicate, and has been assigned to watch Jimmy “The Jake” Heung in the hospital. He’s former IRA. He takes only “moral” assassination cases. He’s whip-thin with dark hair and plain dress.

CHEF WILLY WOO (Gospog)
Chef Woo prefers to be known as “General Tso”. He used to be the star chef at a classy Hong Kong restaurant… but in a fight with several busboys, managed to blow the entire restaurant to hell. Now he can’t find a respectable kitchen job, and works as the head cook in St. John’s hospital cafeteria.

 

[Breakstone]

Sounds awesome, Doc!

I can't wait to read it!

Say, did you have pre-made characters, or did the players make them?

 

[Dr Midnight]

SCENE 1
EXT. – ST. JOHN’S HOSPITAL – DAY

The CAMERA fades in to follow a man’s feet as he walks leisurely through the parking lot. He’s wearing fine Spanish leather shoes. As the CAMERA moves upward, we see he wears black pants and a fine long jacket. In his right arm he is carrying a long flower box. He enters the HOSPITAL and walks by the front desk, on his way to the stairs.

NURSE
Good morning, sir. Oh, roses! Are those for someone special?

He pauses, briefly.

MAN
Yes.

INT. – ST. JOHN’S HOSPITAL – DAY

On the second floor of the hospital is room 213. This room is guarded by CHEN YAU: a maverick cop with an attitude and a mean pair of trigger fingers. Today he’s stewing over his recent argument with the Captain, and how close he almost came to another demotion.

MAN’S VOICE FROM INSIDE ROOM 213
Hey, kid…

Chen turns and enters the room. Here we see JIMMY “THE JAKE” HEUNG, a low-level Hong Kong money launderer for the Xiao crime syndicate. He was recently discovered washed up on the shore of a riverbank. The police wouldn’t normally take notice, but one day before, Xiao Xiaolong (the leader of the crime family) was assassinated. Jimmy was stabilized and questioned by police. In return for the information he was able to tender regarding the Xiao syndicate, he was given the finest available medical care. He also insisted on police protection in the hospital. He was grudgingly given Chen Yau as his halfhearted protector. Now, we see him in room 213, in an iron lung. His condition holds at critical, and he doesn’t look like he’ll live to see the end of the week.

JIMMY
Gimme a cigarette.

Chen seems surprised but hands the man in the iron lung a cigarette without hesitation. Hell, what does he care? This is just some dried-up mafia snitch. Briefly, he’s reminded that iron lungs use highly flammable gas in their operation, but he flicks his Zippo open and lights the cigarette for Jimmy.

JIMMY
Ahhh, that’s good. (coughs) You know, kid, these’ll kill you.

Chen shrugs.

JIMMY
I like your moxy, kid. (puffs, coughs, sighs) I want to tell you something. Y’know how I traded info with the cops to get protection?

CHEN
Yeah.

JIMMY
I didn’t tell them everything.

CHEN
(feigning interest) Oh yeah? What didn’t you tell?

JIMMY
I know who shot Xiao.

CHEN
Everyone does. It was some sniper for the Wu gang,right? Big deal.

JIMMY
It was Fast Tony Tang.

This gets Chen’s attention. “Fast” Tony Tang was Xiao’s right-hand man and leading thug. He’s well-known in police circles as a deadly mob hitman with heartless ambition and lightning-quick guns.

CHEN
What?? Why would Tony kill his own boss?

JIMMY
Kid, there’s only one answer to that one: power.
I’m guessing Tony’s trying to usurp the Xiao
Syndicate for himself.

CHEN
So how do you know this… and why are you telling me?

JIMMY
(puffs again, coughs) The other night I was walking through a ghost building we owned. It’s near the home office. It’s used for hiding hot cars, getting answers out of people, et cetera. I walk by a warehouse room and see Tang packing a sniper rifle into a case. He looks at me and says nothing. I don’t think anything of it, and keep walking. He starts following me. I get to the other building and see Boss Xiao dead. Just then, the wall explodes around me and Tang is trying to shoot me with a damn AK. I hopped in his car and took off after a very tough escape. He and several of his mooks tried to follow me in other cars… Well, long story short, I ditched them and threw myself into the river. Woke up surrounded by cops and adhesive bandages. To answer your second question, I’m telling you because you might be able to take this information and do something with it. If Tony Tang takes over this town, Hong Kong will drown in blood.

CHEN
But… how can I do anything with this? There’s no proof! There’s not even decent evidence that you were attacked by Xiao thugs. All I have is your word, and that ain’t worth much. You’re checking out soon.

JIMMY
There’s proof. (takes another pull on the cigarette) In Tang’s car, I came across a briefcase. I grabbed it as I ran, thinking maybe it’d have some money I could live on or something. As it happened, it was full of plans. Plans on hits. Big hits. You know how many big people he’s planning on taking out? Half the important people in China, by the look of it.

CHEN
Where’s this briefcase?

JIMMY
I ditched it. Right before I took the big plunge into the river, I ditched it. Hid it good.

CHEN
So… where?

JIMMY
That’s the problem, kid… by that point I was bleeding pretty bad. I didn’t even know where I was. I shoved the brief case behind something, into something, I don’t know… and I lurched to the window. Pitched myself out into the river. Woke up here.

CHEN
That won’t be much of a help.

JIMMY
You’re right, kid, and I’m sorry. I may be a mafia snitch who earned his bullet singing a song for the cops, but deep down I’d hate to see my favorite town taken over by a bastard like Tang.

Jimmy takes a last long pull on the cigarette, burning it down to the filter.

JIMMY
Ahh. Thanks, kid. Could you get rid of this for me? I’m done.

At that, there’s a muffled THWUP noise, a glass popping sound, and Jimmy’s face caves in on his pillow. Blood and feathers fly up into the air. Drawing his gun without hesitation, Chen looks up to see an empty space where a burned-out lightbulb had been only a moment before. An eye appears in the hole in the light socket and looks at him. Chen opens fire on the ceiling. BLAM BLAM BLAM! He misses the hole with every shot. A gruff “ahem” noise comes from behind him. He whirls with his gun to see an aged man with a white beard and Chinese kung fu robes standing in the doorway, with arms folded delicately behind his back. This is Chai Tong.

CHAI TONG
You are very loud and slow. Quiet, please.

 

[Piratecat]

CHAI TONG
You are very loud and slow. Quiet, please.

I had been in the next room, lecturing my middle-aged son the lawyer about how clumsy he had been. I was trying to demonstrate to him what he was missing by practicing law and not martial arts, and I inadvertently put him in traction. Then my lecture to him was interrupted by gunfire! Most unacceptable in a hospital where people expect quiet. Manners must be taught.

 

[Dr Midnight]

CHEN
This man was just shot!

CHAI TONG
Then he is foolish and slow as well, like my son and my dimwitted pupil. This is a hospital. Please stop making gun noises.

At this point, a thin man with dark hair rushes to the entrance of room 213 and sees Jimmy. This is DAMON EARLY. As he’s been assigned to watch Jimmy the Jake, he’s visibly angered.

DAMON
Oh fooock, I'm too late. Where is the bastard?

He runs down the hallway, towards the stairs. Chen, Chai Tong, and his pupil TOMMY “WOK” LO take off after him.

CHAI TONG
If the shooting is coming from upstairs, then that is where I must go to ask for the quieting down. Someone is being very rude.

TOMMY
Yes, master!

Upstairs, we see a man in a chef’s hat pushing a hospital food cart down the hallway. This is WILLY WOO… but he prefers to be known as GENERAL TSO. He hears the pop of what sounds like a silenced rifle, and wheels his cart over to room 313 to take a look inside. He sees a man placing something within a flower box, kneeling on the floor. The bed has been moved, and a floor tile has been pulled up. Chef Tso doesn’t know what’s happened, but has a pretty good idea that he should keep this man here until some police arrive.


CHEF TSO
Sir, that’s hospital property. Hungry? Today’s dinner is… Hot dog flambe’!

He pulls off the serving tray lid to reveal an unsettling sight: the tray is filled with hot dogs in a wine sauce, on fire. It seems Chef Tso has had trouble letting go of his gourmet chef roots in a job where preparation of mundane foodstuffs is the everyday business. The man in 313 picks up his flower box and moves towards the door. The man is SANCHO MURIETTA.

SANCHO
I’m not hungry. Excuse me.

Tso doesn’t budge.

CHEF TSO
Are you sure? Gourmet stuff, mm-mmm!

"Accidentally" holding the platter's lid in the flames from the burning hot dogs, Tso yelps from the heat and tosses the hot lid directly at Sancho. Sancho bats it aside, irritated at the delay.

Damon, Chai Tong, Tommy, and Chen reach the third floor. Chai reaches the door to 313 first, and looks in to see Sancho.

CHAI TONG
You are very loud and slow. Quiet, please.

SANCHO
(losing patience) Get out of my way.

Sancho pulls a gun on the chef and old man. Chai Tong smiles inwardly and speaks.

CHAI TONG
You mean… like THIS?

Chai’s arms blur out to snap Sancho’s wrist. Done correctly, this style will disarm and disable a man in two fluid motions. However, Sancho is too quick and pulls the gun back, out of harm’s way.

SANCHO
No. Like this.

Sancho shoots Chai Tong in the shoulder. Blood sprays the hallway behind them and Chai is visibly chagrined for having failed to disarm his opponent. At this moment, Damon, Tommy, Chen, and a bystanding janitor named CARL ROGERS are pulling out weapons and preparing to fight whatever is in room 313. They all notice that there’s an inordinate number of hospital orderlies in the hallway, now, walking towards them with linen carts. We cut to the inside of an elevator. There are two men in the elevator. One is CUDDLY JACK STARKEY. The other has a bandage wrapped around his right hand. The sound of the silenced rifle is barely audible inside the elevator car.

CUDDLY JACK
Crikey, you hear that?

MAN
Yeah, I did. Sounded like fireworks or somethin’. You gotta be careful with those, look what happened to my hand!

CUDDLY JACK
I like you. What’s your name?

Jack puts an arm around the smaller man, causing him extreme discomfort.

MAN
Uh…

CUDDLY JACK
That’s great. Willy, that’s what I’ll call you! Willy Wallaby.

“Willy” is not at all sure he likes the idea, but is absolutely certain he doesn’t want to argue with his new friend the Australian man-monster.

WILLY
Oh… uh, okay!

Chen’s gunshots sound outside the elevator. This time, there’s no mistaking it for what it is.

CUDDLY JACK
Whoa, Willy, you hear that? Let’s go check it out!

Jack punches the stop button, then the open button. He picks Willy up under one arm, as a smaller man might carry a basketball.

WILLY
Uh, no, I’d… I don’t… this is fun.

The door opens and Cuddly Jack looks out to see about six men in hospital orderly uniforms walking past the elevator door. In a slow motion shot we see the orderlies reaching beneath the folded linen on their carts. They pull out black Colt 9mm automatic pistols. Jack tightens his grip on Willy.

CUDDLY JACK
Hang on, Willy… here we go!

Carrying a bewildered Willy beneath his arms, the enormous Australian leaps out into the hallway. Hell is breaking loose in the east wing of St. John’s hospital. All at once, several dozen things begin happening. Carl just happens to be in the mood for a good brawl, and tips over his mop bucket, making things very slick for the mooks in front of him. Chef Tso picks up the serving tray and launches its contents (flaming hot dogs) down the hallway to the mooks.

CHEF TSO
LUNCHTIME!!!

At the same time, he kicks the serving cart in front of him, rocketing it towards Sancho. Fiery hot dogs shower down upon six or so mooks in highly flammable polyester uniforms. Damon pulls even with 313, shouts an expletive as he recognizes Sancho (hitman for the Xiao gang), and opens fire on Sancho… who dodges every bullet while jumping up onto the moving serving cart. A mook raises his gun to shoot Tommy in the face, and his arm is struck by another mook’s own overzealous gun arm. He misfires… directly into the fire extinguisher right next to him. Two mooks die in a violent explosion of white powder and metal shards, while Tommy somersaults through the shrapnel. Cuddly Jack (with Willy in tow) plows into a line of mooks, knocking them aside like tenpins. He slams two to the ground, impaling their heads on the caltrop-like shards of fire extinguisher metal. Carl begins to smack mooks around his his mop, twirling like a master. Sancho pulls another gun from his coat and shoots through the room on his runaway serving cart, both guns blazing. Chai Tong is struck again. As the cart slams into the wall beneath a window, Sancho jumps back, still shooting as he smashes through the window into the open air three stories above the ground. Chef Tso grabs a “nurse call” alert mechanism and jumps through the window, holding on to the wire as he plummets through the air. Chen jumps out after him. Sancho is still falling, shooting upwards with both guns. Chef Tso begins pressing the nurse call button with his thumb as he and Sancho free-fall to the ground below in slow motion.

 

[Dr Midnight]

A quick note to the players...

You'll see that I'm leaving some details out. There's just too much to include, so I'm trying to comb out the little knots and leave the biggest tangles for the story hour here.

If there's something REALLY big and glaring, though, I encourage you to write me and tell me to change it.

 

[Breakstone]

...woah...

 

[Metus]

Chef Tso begins pressing the nurse call button with his thumb as he and Sancho free-fall to the ground below in slow motion.

I laughed so hard at that. That's hilarious!

You'll see that I'm leaving some details out. There's just too much to include, so I'm trying to comb out the little knots and leave the biggest tangles for the story hour here.

Hey hey!! Details are good, details are nice! Details make the world go round! I can understand why you'd cut it back.... but remember, more is better!

 

[Plane Sailing]

I must.... look into... Feng Shui

Obviously there is more fun to this furniture re-arrangement than I originally gave credit

 

[Hammerhead]

I'm not familiar was Feng SHui, I thought it was just stupid people arranging furniture, but how can a janitor and a cook be in the same party as renegade cops, hitmen, and kung fu masters? It's kind of like playing a commoner?