D&D 5E D&D Promises to Make the Game More Queer

[Caliban]

Not one person here has come out against anyone being Gay. But you see there is a difference between being Gay and telling the whole world about it. If you can't understand that some people are uncomfortable with the part where you tell the whole world but don't actually mind that you are gay then you are missing a huge segment of the population.

I'm a white heterosexual male.

Are you saying it's not OK for me to tell people that, because it might make them feel uncomfortable? Because I know I've seen a lot of men openly and proudly bragging about their heterosexuality. Often combined with graphic or implied descriptions of how they would like to demonstrate said heterosexuality with any available women.

Or does this taboo about openly referencing your own sexual orientation only apply to gay people?

 

[Sunseeker]

You're right: homosexuals don't have to worry about what makes other people comfortable. All people do.

Not sure if it's intentional but you heavily imply "homosexuals should be excempt from common decency" with the quoted post.

Oh get off. If that's what you read that's on you.

Everyone who isn't completely ignorant of the topic at hand knows exactly what I was saying.

If it makes you uncomfortable that Bob is gay, that Bob mentions now and again that some guy has a cute butt or whatever, that's on you. Bob shouldn't have to worry about if you're uncomfortable knowing he's gay. Because Bob knows you're straight and there's no social pressure on you to worry about Bob feeling uncomfortable about your straight-ness. But there IS social pressure on Bob to worry about you being uncomfortable with Bob's mere existence.

 

[FrogReaver]

I'm a woman, and mostly interested in other women. I tend to play characters who are like me in that regard (not always, but usually). When I'm playing with a group and a male PC hits on a female NPC, none of the DMs or GMs I've played under have ever batted an eye. But, the moment my female PC hits on a female NPC you can see that look on their face that shows their gears are turning; they're trying to rationalize to themselves if it's okay to make that NPC gay. And that's not just an assumption on my part; I've asked them about it.

Now, I can't say I entirely blame them. We all tend to make things line up with our default assumptions about life, and to pause when there's a hiccup in those assumptions. And, most of those DMs and GMs were close friends of mine, not just acquaintances met online or through a gaming store. But, it's quite noticeable at the table when it happens.

I love it. You can't blame them but you blame them. Yet somehow the biggest concern of their actions you have brought up is a brief pause. I mean I can't make this up. They are playing the game with you. They know your Lez or Gay or whatever term you prefer and somehow it's a brief pause that concerns you. I can only assume the DM went along with it after that brief pause or you would have mentioned that?

Like I don't get what more you want. You can't control other peoples reactions to you and what you are and yet it seems that every reaction was perfect except a brief pause. Are you sure you aren't just hypersensitive to this issue and reading more into peoples actions than are actually there?

 

[FrogReaver]

I'm a white heterosexual male.

Are you saying it's not OK for me to tell people that, because it might make them feel uncomfortable? Because I know I've seen a lot of men openly and proudly bragging about their heterosexuality. Often combined with graphic or implied descriptions of how they would like to demonstrate said heterosexuality with any available women.

Or does this taboo about openly referencing your own sexual orientation only apply to gay people?

I don't go around telling people I'm straight. I don't know hardly any straight male that does. Why gay men have to tell everyone they are gay?

 

[Morrus]

I don't go around telling people I'm straight. I don't know hardly any straight male that does. Why gay men have to tell everyone they are gay?

a) "Gay men" is not a homogenous hivemind any more than "straight men" is. Maybe some do, plenty don't. Have you honestly never heard of "the closet"?

--i) But even if all gay men did that (which they don't), so what? How does it hurt you? Representation in public spaces is what helps tell those still hiding it that it's OK, and those who object to their existence that that's not OK.

b) Straight men most certainly do advertise their heterosexuality. The fact that you don't notice is because you are one. And not just the ones who go on hate marches, either.

That you'd think straight men don't do that defies credulity, but I'll take you at your word.

 

[Sunseeker]

I don't go around telling people I'm straight. I don't know hardly any straight male that does. Why gay men have to tell everyone they are gay?

Because you don't have to. The default assumption in society is that you are. That's the whole freaking point that just keeps flying over your head.

 

[Nagol]

I'm a white heterosexual male.

Are you saying it's not OK for me to tell people that, because it might make them feel uncomfortable? Because I know I've seen a lot of men openly and proudly bragging about their heterosexuality. Often combined with graphic or implied descriptions of how they would like to demonstrate said heterosexuality with any available women.

Or does this taboo about openly referencing your own sexual orientation only apply to gay people?

I'd prefer to only be told about the sexuality of someone I'm considering for a sexual/romantic partner (as part of the prospect vetting as it were). The sexuality of everyone else in the universe is irrelevant to me. What people tell me I have little control over however, unless I simply stop accepting information altogether.

 

[Caliban]

I don't go around telling people I'm straight. I don't know hardly any straight male that does. Why gay men have to tell everyone they are gay?

So you really don't think men feel comfortable announcing their heterosexuality? What planet do you live on?

They may not say the words "I'm straight" out loud, but men in most cultures certainly feel free to demonstrate how heterosexual they are by talking about how attractive they find women and how they want to have sex with them. In public, often loudly, often with numerical ratings.

 

[Ganymede81]

Straight men most certainly do advertise their heterosexuality. The fact that you don't notice is because you are one.

This line, and the myopia it describes, is the reason this thread is 50 pages long.

 

[FrogReaver]

I'm a white heterosexual male.

Are you saying it's not OK for me to tell people that, because it might make them feel uncomfortable? Because I know I've seen a lot of men openly and proudly bragging about their heterosexuality. Often combined with graphic or implied descriptions of how they would like to demonstrate said heterosexuality with any available women.

Or does this taboo about openly referencing your own sexual orientation only apply to gay people?

I wanted to reply to the other part about the bragging. Straight men generally brag like that to people we consider friends and maybe some heterosexual male acquantinces. People that shouldn't overhear that talk sometimes do. But if I thought for a second a gay person was actually uncomfortable with that kind of bragging and he was present to hear it then I wouldn't say it or if I did slip up then I would feel bad and apologize after. This is also the reason straight males don't typically don't brag like that in front of women. It's a respect issue.