This is a bit old now, but in response to some earlier stuff: I absolutely will cop to running a very "softball" kind of game. Some of that is due to my players (as noted, this is a leisure activity to get away from RL anxieties and such), but a lot of it is on me, I'm a big ol' softie in general. I've never been able to grok the whole "killer DM" thing. For me, the fun is when a player agonizes over a moral choice or has a mental BSOD because of a shift in behavior.
As a lovely example of the latter: before he went on hiatus again, the Ranger met back up with his (justifiably hated) super-rich merchant maternal grandfather, Barthraim al-Rajaud--against his better judgment, the Ranger was turning to him to check up on the motives of a strange new cult that had popped up, because while the Ranger wouldn't trust Barthraim in general, but trusting the man to look out for his own interests is a sure bet. As the result of a partial success and certain choices, though, I was left with a golden opportunity--due to past events, Barthraim had almost lost his beloved granddaughter, and the Ranger had saved her. He could've gone super selfish, but in that moment, it was much more interesting to instead go for an epiphany, where he's realized some of the error of his ways and wants to change. The Ranger had to deal with the fact that his hated grandfather implicitly apologized for his naughty word behavior and now kinda wants the Ranger's approval, prompting the player to have to choose whether to further their rivalry or capitalize on it--something that would actually make the grandfather more like him, and make him more like his grandfather in the exact same moment. That's gonna be the seed for all sorts of fun stuff down the line, should the player return from hiatus.
Also, I think this is probably the most I've ever been mentioned in any thread, ever! I feel so honored

I don't have a lot to say about the references, though, so unless someone is hungry for a reply I'll probably just...not.
One thing I
will give a response to though is the "wearing white at funerals" thing. That wasn't meant to be specifically
important per se--just meant as a possible cultural detail that
could become relevant at some point, but is exactly the kind of easily-overlooked detail that everyone in-setting would know (if you've lived in a country for any meaningful length of time, you'll know what a funeral looks like), but which is unlikely to get explicitly nailed down in advance.
As an example of something that actually
was important of this nature, the typical hair, eye, and skin colors of different types of genies. We haven't really nailed down much of anything about them. But after the party Bard did a thing (basically absorbing the devilish power that had been granted to the Riddle-Makers, whom he sees as "his people" now, and in place of that power binding them to a benevolent spirit of history and tradition called Mudaris), the world's first (or at least first known in this region) Aasimar were created--going with the traditional "literal metallic-colored hair," golden or bronze skin, glowing or vivid eyes, etc. This would make them stand out a LOT if they tried to return to the mortal world, so the Bard was eager to find some way to make that happen.
This prompted me to say, "Well, if you could get them official immigration papers from Jinnistan, they could easily pass themselves off as mortal earth genies due to similarities of appearance. But that would mean you'd need to court a Jinnistani noble..." Which is what led to them getting embroiled in the schemes of the sultans of Mount Matahat and ultimately the murder mystery. But this hinged on the
in general relatively incidental but
in context extremely important fact that aasimar and earth genies share hair, eye, and skin color trends. This is exactly that sort of "your character would know" situation I'm talking about, where it's a fact that basically every non-foreigner would know (since mortal genies make up a small but meaningful minority in the region), but which almost certainly would not be considered for explicit description even during a lengthy engagement between DM and player about character background and common knowledge.
As a different example, I worked with the Ranger player to develop what specific branch of the Safiqi faith he adopted. It's long established that the One is worshipped as a singular entity that expresses a near-infinite variety of identities or "facets," such as the Stalwart Soldier (popular among guardsmen/soldiers, parents, and mercenaries), the Soothing Flame (often favored by chirurgeons, magical healers, and some alchemists), or the Unknown Knower (popular among academics, Waziri mages, and anyone who benefits from stealth). None of these appealed to him, however, so we worked out a different facet, which he called the Resolute Seeker: where the Stalwart Soldier represents the "guard the home and hearth" aspects of the One, the Resolute Seeker represents the drive to eliminate evil at the source, to explore the unknown, and to bring light and hope into the darkness, popular among the Asiad al-Khafyun (essentially the priestly "internal police" who hunt down other priests that abuse their powers), explorers, adventurers, and anyone who dedicates themselves to defeating specific enemies. The standing statement that there are infinitely many facets (and some of them may have been forgotten by people of the present day) gives the player the freedom to establish something they like, but both my own setting info and things established during play provide certain constraints on where that can go.
Essentially, backstory is one input. Sometimes that input is ignored if it either isn't relevant, or would excessively limit cool stuff invented by the player, I'm willing to be pretty flexible--it depends on the severity, more or less. Player input is always a prized input and should only be deflected or overruled in genuinely dire circumstances, simply because I want so badly to support whatever my players are enthusiastic about.
Neither thing is perfectly, absolutely determinative, and if there's ever a concern, I talk it out with my players, always striving to favor doubt-benefits and player enthusiasm whenever I can get even a paper-thin excuse to do so. The only thing truly determinative is what the player(s) and I agree to do, which will necessarily vary, but since "the rules of Dungeon World" are part of what I have agreed to do, I stick by those unless the players advocate otherwise.
Inciting thing > filtered through snowballing procedure (for Telephone that is a chain of whispering and listening) > evolved and established thing
I'm curious here. As I had seen it, "Inciting
thing" is what I was doing, with things evolving from there. Perhaps my issue is that I am fine with a mix of both hyper-minimal and less-minimal "inciting
things"? I have some Story Before, but I LOVE it when my players give Story Now. E.g. the aforementioned grandfather was a backstory element established by the player (who made a completely
not-gross origin story for a half-orc character to still have family problems and difficulties with his two lineages), to whom I added only relatively incidental details (e.g. being a super-rich merchant, he sits on the Brass Ring, the officially unofficial advisory council to the Sultana) . Apart from small things like that, or inventing other relatives (like the aforementioned granddaughter), I have otherwise have either followed the player's lead or, as with the "he should have an epiphany" thing, gone with logical and reasonably well-justified directions that add drama or tension (or comedy, we're far from 100% serious!)
With something like the murder-whodunnit, I felt the most dramatic thing was that there needed to be a particular killer in advance, that the players could either discover or not based on their actions. With something like the Ranger's grandfather, him having complex and tricksy motivations was almost a given, so a sudden (and, Dolyistically, unplanned) reveal of earnest desire to change was the most dramatic and interesting thing that could occur there. How would the player respond? Where would the story evolve from there? I was full of anticipation just as much as they were.