Another "women" venting thread.

[Hijinks]

Women like guys who are active in doing other things. One big reason for this seems to be that they regard it as a challenge to be more interesting than the other things the guy might do. And the confidence/slight indifference that results seems to call to them like moths to a flame. If you're trying to schedule a date and she says, "What about Wednesday?" and you respond, "No can do. I play soccer that night," then it says, "I might like you, lady, but I don't NEED you. I'm pretty happy with my life."

I agree with this in theory but not the first sentence. I, personally, like for the person I'm dating to have a hobby - oh the horror of the guy I dated years ago that had nothing to do but wait for me to get off of work! *shudder* - BUT I, like many women, don't like to do the pursuing. If I'm the one constantly saying "wanna do something Wednesday?" then I'm going to get the feeling that he's not interested in me romantically; if he were, he'd want to see me more often and would call me to make plans instead of the other way around.

I do agree that a person shouldn't wait around for a date to call to make plans; if you want to go out yourself to the movies, or go play soccer, or whatnot, make plans to do so, and then when they call, say "Oh sorry, no can do. How about Friday?" That way you're still communicating that you're not a lifeless loser, but that you still want to see them. Being "too available" in the beginning of a relationship can be a big turnoff to many people, and this is where I agree with the above advice.

 

[Belen]

I've been annoyed at her lack of responce mainly because she seemed really interested -- it was written in her eyes and on her face. I'm not really much of a mindreader, and I don't take the lack of communication to be communication.

Dude, you did not wait the required 48 hours to call her. Besides, this thread is making you sound needy, which is the number one reason for a chick to bolt.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

So, tell us about the Lemon-Scented Fasting Diet?

 

[Eolin]

So, tell us about the Lemon-Scented Fasting Diet?

Scented is hardly the right adjective. Each liter or so of the mixture contains 3 ounces of lemon juice. Which is juice from about 3 lemons. You could call it cayeanne-scented, maybe.

Its going well. This is day 2. The problems of yesterweek have gone away. We'll see what happens from here on -- tommorow ought to be a real cleansing day.

It ought to be as today before bed I'll be taking an herbal laxative tea. And tommorow morning, drinking salt water. made with sea salt. The laxative gets things going, and the salt water is supposed to cleanse the colon. We'll see what comes loose.

 

[Rel]

We'll see what comes loose.

Whatever it may be, I'm not entirely certain that I'd consider that "Need To Know" information for most of us here at ENWorld.

 

[Gentlegamer]

I agree with you insofar as we tend to form meaningful relationships and fall in love with those who capture our attention. And certainly those people should be granted some lattitude and defference for being our significant others. But I think there is a problem when someone in a relationship gets lazy and thinks that the other person should simply spend time with them out of a sense of entitlement.

I've heard female friends complain about their husbands not wanting to spend enough time with them and asking me what's wrong with these men. I have told a couple of them (ones who I knew could take a bit of criticism), "Maybe you should try to be interesting." What I mean is that if all of the things that they want their husbands to spend time doing are things that the husbands find intensely boring then of course they're going to minimize the time they spend doing them. If they want to be the most important thing in their man's life then one good way to do it is to find things that both of them enjoy doing and do those things.

The opposite could also be true of course but I rarely hear my guy friends complaining about not getting to spend enough time with their wives.

What you say is true, and should be read into my statement. I didn't say it myself for brevity's sake.

 

[I'm A Banana]

If I'm the one constantly saying "wanna do something Wednesday?" then I'm going to get the feeling that he's not interested in me romantically; if he were, he'd want to see me more often and would call me to make plans instead of the other way around.

To be a little Devil's Advocate for a sec, what do YOU do to show a guy you're interested in HIM romantically? Do you follow a different set of rules? If you're interested in a guy romantically, shouldn't you puruse him? If he's the one constantly asking "wanna do something?" shouldn't it make him feel the same way it makes you feel? That if you were interested in him, you'd want to see him more and you would call him and make plans instead of the other way around?

Or is the onus completely on the guy for you? He has to meet your demands, and then you have veto power?

 

[Rel]

I didn't say it myself for brevity's sake.

Well never let it be said that I'm not long winded.

(this post excepted of course)

 

[Rel]

He has to meet you demands, and then you have veto power?

This is the standard arrangement.

The kind of equality you're talking about could destabilize the entire sexual marketplace! There would be chaos! Chaos I tell you!

 

[Hijinks]

what do YOU do to show a guy you're interested in HIM romantically? Do you follow a different set of rules? If you're interested in a guy romantically, shouldn't you puruse him?

I did not say that I am never the one to suggest dates, nor do I just sit there and wait for a gentleman to always call me. I said *scrolls up* that if I'm the one "constantly asking," then I assume that he's not interested. If I ask one time, then the next time he suggests something, then I suggest something, then he does ... that's what I consider a relationship in which both parties are interested.