D&D General Do you allow "crossplaying" at your table? Has it ever caused problems?

[David Howery]

even way back in 1E days, I don't recall this being a real issue. From what I remember, I never saw any female fighters, since they suffered from strength limits under 1E rules, but female thieves and mages weren't uncommon, since STR didn't really matter for them so much. I had a male mage PC who got turned into a girl from some cursed doodad, and I just... left it that way, since it didn't really make any difference...

 

[akr71]

I can't imagine restricting what gender a player chooses for their character.

Because in many gamers experience a lot of people especially guys who play the opposite gender do it in a manner that is disruptive to other players. Also not everyone has the same comfort zones at the table and gaming is about everyone having fun not just a few people.

Even in this instance. I would more likely restrict who is at the table. Disruptive or cringy players don't get invited back.

 

[Charlaquin]

The biggest difficulty I've had recently was getting used to a "they/them" pronoun for a character who was nonbinary. Just like in real life, I've gotten used to seeing gender as a singular trait. Working with it in roleplaying helps me practice when I don't want to mess up in reality.

I had a player play a character once who’s preferred second-person pronouns were they/them and their first-person pronouns were “this one”/it (in place of I/me). Everyone, including the character’s own player, had a very difficult time remembering this. Neat concept though, they were a drow spore druid whose spores were integrated into their central nervous system, and it was unclear where the drow ended and the spore colony began, or if the drow was even really alive any more or just an empty vessel for the spores.

 

[Dire Bare]

There are no prohibitions with my regulars on this matter, but rarely does anyone actually do it. I play in a female DM's game from time to time and she doesn't particularly care for males playing females because of past experiences. As a result I don't do it to respect her wishes.

While in general, I think banning players from "crossplaying" is a bad idea, I would probably also respect the female DM's wishes on this sort of thing. Female gamers have had to put up with a lot of crap from the guys, and trying to limit that is understandable.

If I (as a guy) wanted to play a female character in that game . . . if it was just an interesting concept, I'd pass and come up with something different. But, as others have discussed, playing as a female was important to me, perhaps as a way to explore different aspects of my own personality, I'd want to ask the DM to allow it and explain why (and promise not to be creepy about it).

 

[iserith]

While in general, I think banning players from "crossplaying" is a bad idea, I would probably also respect the female DM's wishes on this sort of thing. Female gamers have had to put up with a lot of crap from the guys, and trying to limit that is understandable.

Yeah, honestly if I can't play a female character, it's not a big deal to me since I probably only wanted to because I came up with a silly name that sounded to me more feminine than masculine.

 

[Ace]

I can't imagine restricting what gender a player chooses for their character.

Even in this instance. I would more likely restrict who is at the table. Disruptive or cringy players don't get invited back.

Its fine with me. Not all groups are for all gamers. Heck I had two brothers in law (married into the same family) who would never ever game together but who otherwise got along fine.

 

[Ace]

But the problem then is the guys doing that, not the practice of playing another gender. Granted, the players’ comfort is paramount. But forbidding all players from playing other genders outright is an absurd way to respond to the mere possibility that someone might be uncomfortable of the idea. If it makes someone uncomfortable, then it’s a good idea to have a conversation about it and decide together how to resolve the issue.

I agree with you but I've gamed with many groups where a large number of the players don't much like one thing or another, setting appropriate anthropomorphic animals, gender swapping certain D&D races (not human ones mind you) styles of gaming.

if one player wants to play something disruptive to several of the players even if some are neutral, the answer ought to be no.

 

[Gradine]

As has been pointed out before, male players who should be forbidden from playing female characters because they can't do so respectfully or without otherwise being disruptive are probably going to be a problem no matter what character they play.

Some additional thoughts:
*Your player may not actually be the gender they present as/you think they are. Most trans people I know have a period of questioning/being in the closet, and the ones I know that play RPGs have used their characters to explore their own gender identity. I've heard at least one story about someone who played a female PC in order to gauge whether it was safe to come out to their group or not.
*They/them pronouns can be difficult to get used to. I often make this mistake with Ally, a player on the Dimension 20 show, and I use they/them pronouns too.

 

[jgsugden]

Every table is different, and different people will be offended by different things, including people that may be frustrated or angered by another player attempting to 'cluelessly' play a character that has characteristics that the player does not understand.

D&D can be a teaching tool, but some players are not interested in being taught. As such, I think this is a fine topic for session -1: The one on one sessions where you let players confide in advance of session zero regarding what might make them uncomfortable.

 

[Blue]

Sure, been doing this for 3-4 decades of roleplaying. Before that it would be one player running a whole party, so while there may be things marked down on the character sheet, there wasn't a lot of RP for it to come up. But the first long term, deep RP game I got into didn't care and it was the normal so it never seemed odd. Yeah, some issues with teenaged boys (the girls were fine) but that got weeded out quickly. We had characters in relationships with both PCs and NPCs, including marriages and eventually kids. I think it helped that the same extended group of people also played Champions together, and there was a lot of soap opera in that game. Heck, I remember playing a (tastefully) gay elf back in the late '80s - and that wass unknown territory. Everyone around the table thought it was great when it came out and "very elf-y", laughing or commiserating with the wizardess who had a crush on my character since she was introduced.

Recently I was playing a transhuman game with resleeving into different bodies, and one of the topics I explored was changing gender in various ways and the acceptance or not of it, both by others and by the self.

One of the games I run for has several non-binary players, and some non-binary characters - and don't think that the PCs and the players match. Including "Rin has no pronouns, just 'Rin'". I couldn't possibly think about trying to police gender in that game.

As a side note, every DM does this all the time with NPCs. How can it be an issue when players do it?