D&D General Do you allow "crossplaying" at your table? Has it ever caused problems?

[ArwensDaughter]

I've found this an interesting topic timing wise. I've always played female characters (except when I DM), but I've been working on developing a new character for a potential upcoming game and I've been pondering what gender they are. For whatever reason, my first assumption was that they were male. I gave some thought to playing them as non-binary, but I'm cis myself, and concerned that a cis person trying to play nonbinary might be insensitive. Now I'm leaning toward them being female, but still pondering.

I've been in at least one game where someone "crossplayed", and that was fine. The player was a teen male, but not a stereotypical one, and the portrayal was not problematic at all. And I've seen streamers play opposite gender characters--most notably Sam Riegel on Critical Role--without problem or concern. Frankly, that (pleasantly) surprised me a bit from Sam, given Scanlan's personality, but I've never been uncomfortable with his portrayal of Nott/Veth.

So I wouldn't prohibit it as a DM unless I had a group where it became a problem. I DM'd AL for a short time pre-COVID, and there some players there who definitely would have been a problem and been creepy about it; in that context I might prohibit it if it became a problem. Although one of those players I probably wouldn't have allowed at my table regardless given the shenanigans he pulled as a DM one night with another female player.

 

[Blue]

Mature players can handle such a thing, but as a fellow DM has pointed out "what is the benefit?" Most of the time a character's sex is of minimal importance to the concept, and unless there's a specific reason for genderbending, a player is probably better off sticking to their own gender.

"What is the benefit" - people play elves and dwarves and tieflings and sometimes even humans. They explore being part of cultures not their own and being able to do things both fantastical and mundane that they have no skill. I have lousy ears but love to play bards. I've played people much older and much younger than I am/have been. So the benefit is being able to explore the character, just like you are in those races, cultures, and worlds.

I don't think when you say "benefit", you are implying people play other races only for mechanical benefit, and there is no interest in the race itself. I'm playing a Loxodon, a humanoid elephant, in a game, simply because I can and I've never had a chance to before. In another game, my paladin's steed that was a talking giant eagle was beloved by the other players because of how much I played him as other than human. (Heck, it took them about two years to realize he would always do numbers wrong - didn't grow up with 10 fingers and therefore base 10.)

 

[Stormonu]

As a DM, I have to play opposite gender, alignment, race and all sort of things, so I have no problem with the players choosing to do so either.

In fact, one of my longest-lived characters I played on the PC side of the screen was the witch necromancer Kalli Bloodblade. She was a red-haired handful.

I've only had one individual with whom it was an issue, and a stern "cut it out" brought their actions to a heel, and there was no need to swap characters out in play.

 

[Levistus's_Leviathan]

I'm also in the camp of "why is this a question, play what you want."

I am a straight, cisgender male and have been playing D&D for over 3 years now. I almost never get to play a character, but have played a few. Of the three main characters I have played, only one of them has been male (my high elf necromancer). My other two are a gender fluid changeling hexblade warlock and a cisgender female satyr undead warlock.

Part of the reason I (and probably all of you) play TTRPGs is to escape the real world. Why should I let the real world have any bearing over my imagination?

 

[zarionofarabel]

Don't care.

 

[delericho]

For a very long time it was banned at my table - precisely because it had caused problems in the past.

A couple of decades on, and an entirely different group, a player I trusted wanted to do it. After a successful experiment, it is no longer banned.

 

[Dire Bare]

I've found this an interesting topic timing wise. I've always played female characters (except when I DM), but I've been working on developing a new character for a potential upcoming game and I've been pondering what gender they are. For whatever reason, my first assumption was that they were male. I gave some thought to playing them as non-binary, but I'm cis myself, and concerned that a cis person trying to play nonbinary might be insensitive. Now I'm leaning toward them being female, but still pondering.

I've been in at least one game where someone "crossplayed", and that was fine. The player was a teen male, but not a stereotypical one, and the portrayal was not problematic at all. And I've seen streamers play opposite gender characters--most notably Sam Riegel on Critical Role--without problem or concern. Frankly, that (pleasantly) surprised me a bit from Sam, given Scanlan's personality, but I've never been uncomfortable with his portrayal of Nott/Veth.

So I wouldn't prohibit it as a DM unless I had a group where it became a problem. I DM'd AL for a short time pre-COVID, and there some players there who definitely would have been a problem and been creepy about it; in that context I might prohibit it if it became a problem. Although one of those players I probably wouldn't have allowed at my table regardless given the shenanigans he pulled as a DM one night with another female player.

Playing a trans, gay, or nonbinary character (when you aren't those things) shouldn't be any different than simply playing the opposite gender. You shouldn't avoid it doing it for fear of being insensitive, as long as you approach playing the character with maturity and respect.

Now, if I wanted to play, say, a trans character and one of the other players at the table was trans in real life . . . I would probably ask them first if they felt it might become uncomfortable, and if so, I'd find another character concept. Or, as a DM, make sure everyone is comfortable with the campaign and everyone's character concepts in "session zero".

 

[Scott Christian]

I am with the why is it even a question. That said...

I can see for some tables, especially ones that delve into their characters having relationships, how this might feel different at the table for a short while. I mean, if I had a player cross-playing, and then part of their character's arc involved the chance at a relationship, that might be odd to roleplay the first time. Then, of course, it would subside. Like anything new, one might need to get over the hump before it feels normal. Almost like people roleplaying for the first time in general.

 

[Eltab]

"Why is this a question?"
and (because paranoia is a survival trait) "Are you trying to provoke a 'let's you and him fight' fight?"

In high school and college, I saw a scattering of the usual stupid stuff as individuals were mid-process in figuring out themselves and what sexuality is about.

As an adult, I have had a lot of parent-child (or uncle/aunt - niece/nephew) (one grandparent-grandchild) pairs in my groups*, so there is a natural tamp-down on shenanigans.

Evidently, my PCs are effectively asexual; nobody notices any difference between male or female.

* counting tables for a session at a convention as 'a group'

 

[Dr Magister]

The biggest difficulty I've had recently was getting used to a "they/them" pronoun for a character who was nonbinary. Just like in real life, I've gotten used to seeing gender as a singular trait. Working with it in roleplaying helps me practice when I don't want to mess up in reality.

Exactly the same here. We have a non-binary character in our current game, and it took me a while to get used to they/them. A couple of our players still haven't managed it.

Twenty years ago, I know there was a lot of stigma about playing other genders amongst my roleplaying friends, but mostly about men playing as women. No-one seemed to mind as much the other way round. Since then, I've seen it done very well, with zero creepiness, and for the first time my PC in an intermittent online game is female, and I'm trying to make sure there's no creepiness there either.