Thanks for this response. I actually think in practice we agree in a lot of areas. I will say that I started playing in the early 90s with basic dnd and then 2e, so hopefully I have some knowledge of the hobby (though I never played 4e). Incidentally, I am a person of color and that guides my mindfulness on issues of race and colonialism in the game, but I didn't want to articulate my argument/position on that ground alone. I'm also a teacher, and while I hopefully avoid hang wringing over my students, I do get to see how young people are approaching the game, and am naturally sympathetic to their concerns.
As a dm, I want to run a game for which my friends want to buy a ticket. If not for their sake, at least because I'm not playing in a game if I don't have players! So I'm looking at a game product and asking 'does this help me sell tickets,' figuratively speaking. For my players, a simple system is better than a crunchy one (part of why I'm moving away from 5e). My players also find some of the default assumptions of the game's implied setting to be problematic. It's not a deal breaker, but that's at least in part because we talk about these things openly and figure out together what kind of game we want to play.
I was once watching a movie with a friend at home (I think it was drugstore cowboy). There was a scene of someone shooting up, so a needle going into an arm. My friend said, 'I'll be right back,' and 5 seconds later I heard a thud sound, and found that she had passed out, and later learned that she just can't deal with needles. I was enjoying the movie myself, but I paused it to help her. I watched the rest of it later. She didn't demand that I pause it for her sake (she was unconscious), but friends help each other out in these kind of situations.
ttrpgs can be fantastic and therapeutic, that's why we're all here. They will not be reliably therapeutic though, unless you are playing with psychologists who have some training. This is why there are also plenty of "rpg horror stories." And more so than horror stories, there are lots of people that just kind of bounce off the game because of a bad experience. They are not trying to control anyone else, but they just decide it's not for them. I'm not necessarily a fan of the whole Matt Colville phenomenon, but I think
this video he made about this is very helpful in this regard. If you are going to have a book called the "dungeon master's guide," and insist that this book is part of the "core," and therefore must be purchased, the least you can offer customers is some useful advice and tools that they can use to help mitigate some of these potential problems. That being said, I would agree that safety tools can give a false sense of security.
Totally agree. In an ideal world dnd wouldn't take up so much of the market share and have so much of the cultural attention. I think people should make the game their own and/or play other games. That being said, a corporation like wotc is going to survey the landscape the respond accordingly, and the trend has been away from alignment for a while.
I agree, but figuring out what works for your table is often taken as a self-evident process. I think one thing a game (any game)
can do is provide tools and advice for how to figure out what is going to work and what is
not going to work at your table beyond just trial and error which might produce a negative experience for someone