Do you tell pretty girls that they're pretty?

[Rel]

fat? sis, you look like a beached whale.

=! a compliment!

More questionable is this exchange:

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

"I am so HOT for fat women!"

 

[diaglo]

=! a compliment!

More questionable is this exchange:

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

"I am so HOT for fat women!"

must apply acid to brain now... i am sooooo scarred for life.

 

[Desdichado]

More questionable is this exchange:

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

"I am so HOT for fat women!"

I personally like the response, "More cushion for the pushin', bay-bee!"

But not to my sister...

 

[Umbran]

Actually, it has all the bearing in the world. If Rel intended to flirt, he wouldn't walk out of her life never to be seen again.

*shrug* From her point of view, he might have turned and walked away because her response was too slow, or what have you. For all I know, she might have thought that he was a stalker making his first pass. Or, she could have been thinking about paperclips. We don't know.

Even "innocent" flirting is kinda like playing chicken with infidelity, in a way

In the same way that you can play chicken in a car when the brake is on and the car's not in gear? You aren't playing chicken unless there's a chance of a collision.

And since tossing that line out as he literally walked away, it doesn't really much matter if the gal thought she was being flirted with, or merely complimented, actually. It makes no real difference to either her or Rel whichever way she intends to interpret it.

Yep. If Rel never has reasonable expectation that he'll not interact with this person again, it probably doesn't make a whole lot of difference. And since he internally didn't mean anything by it, it's pretty much a non-issue, like I said in the first place

 

[Rel]

If Rel never has reasonable expectation that he'll not interact with this person again, it probably doesn't make a whole lot of difference. And since he internally didn't mean anything by it, it's pretty much a non-issue, like I said in the first place

Well if I ever have property inspection work to do in that city again, she's the first person I'm calling. If I massively offended her, and if she remembers me, then I'll have messed up a potentially valuable information resource. If she enjoyed the compliment, and if she remembers me, then I'll probably have an even easier time getting the necessary info next time. I'm willing to take my chances.

This was part of the information I was curious about when I started this thread. "Do people really analyze interactions like this with a Worst Case Scenario in mind and does that Scenario dictate their course of action?"

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

This was part of the information I was curious about when I started this thread. "Do people really analyze interactions like this with a Worst Case Scenario in mind and does that Scenario dictate their course of action?"

Yes, but I analyze everything, and the WCS influences my actions.

But that's me.

"I expect the worst, that way I'm never shocked, but I'm often pleasantly surprised."

 

[Rel]

Yes, but I analyze everything, and the WCS influences my actions.

But that's me.

That's well within your rights. But let me ask this: What if your little girl wants to go get some ice cream?

What's the worst case scenario? That you could be killed in a car crash on the way to the shop? Or somebody might try and rob the shop at gunpoint and kill you both? It seems unlikely but it could happen. Does that mean you skip the ice cream?

I Suppose that on some level I consider the WCS of actions I'm about to take. But that is a very fleeting thing. I focus on the likely outcome and not only the risks but the rewards. My little girl gives me a huge smile and tells me I'm the "best daddy in the world" when I buy her ice cream. That is one hell of a reward.

For me it's the same with the compliment. Maybe she'll think I'm stalking her and call the cops. Maybe she'll be mortally offended and feel rotten for the rest of the day (I've already mentioned that I don't necessarily consider this to be a totally bad thing). Odds are good that she'll smile and thank me and be happy for a while that somebody said something nice about her. To me, the risk is worth the reward.

Life is risk. If I'm not risking, I'm not living.

 

[Henry]

I hardly ever compliment a woman's physical appearance, but mainly because I read people in person like I read a book behind brick, and I'd rather be known as "nice" and "complimentary" than "flirty." Were I single again, I'd undoubtedly change this, but as long as my wife knows I still find her attractive, funny, and a huge part of what makes me a whole person, then I find fewer complications.

If I'm ever single again, though, I'm applying for apprenticeship at the dojo of Sensei Teflon Billy.

 

[Kid Socrates]

So you'd talk nice about someone behind their back but not to their face, huh?

As weird as that sounds, said out in the open like that, yeah. Not because I don't think highly enough of them, but because I think higher of the people I'm with. If my girlfriend went around telling all these attractive men how attractive they are, well, I think part of me would start to feel slighted or overlooked. Same goes for her.

I am indeed a vicious compliment-spreading fiend.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

That's well within your rights. But let me ask this: What if your little girl wants to go get some ice cream?

How long is going to take to get there? What's the traffic like? Do I have the cash? Has she done her homework? How are the brakes in the van? Do we have the gas? Am I expecting an important call from overseas?

Nope. It's go time.

What's the worst case scenario? That you could be killed in a car crash on the way to the shop? Or somebody might try and rob the shop at gunpoint and kill you both? It seems unlikely but it could happen. Does that mean you skip the ice cream?

HAH!

No. It's just that it wouldn't shock me if it did.

Those are out of my control, and considered uncontrollable variables.

Do you just grab the kid, throw her into the van, yank out in traffic, drive 200 MPH to the store, and crash the vehicle through the front of the store?

No.

I Suppose that on some level I consider the WCS of actions I'm about to take. But that is a very fleeting thing. I focus on the likely outcome and not only the risks but the rewards. My little girl gives me a huge smile and tells me I'm the "best daddy in the world" when I buy her ice cream. That is one hell of a reward.

Yup, and the reason I do.

I still run through worst case really fast. Everything that can go wrong. Which is why, sometimes, it's "No, honey, we can't, Uncle Lurch is going to call soon from Iraq."

Worst Case: Miss the 1 time a month phone call OR She has to wait.

For me it's the same with the compliment. Maybe she'll think I'm stalking her and call the cops. Maybe she'll be mortally offended and feel rotten for the rest of the day (I've already mentioned that I don't necessarily consider this to be a totally bad thing). Odds are good that she'll smile and thank me and be happy for a while that somebody said something nice about her. To me, the risk is worth the reward.

That's it, right there. Risk VS Outcome.

A little compliment carries little risk to you and me, some people with jealous SO's don't dare to give that little compliment (The outcome of 4 hours of drama queen low self-esteem control freak crap isn't worth it), and some people don't care.

Life is risk. If I'm not risking, I'm not living.

I agree with that.

Man, we got a lot of milage out of me stating that I do take into account WCS when I make a decision, didn't we?