Do you tell pretty girls that they're pretty?

[reveal]

I see nothing wrong with what you did. I've told girls they are pretty because they are. I don't think my wife would have a problem with it. Heck, if we're out and I see a pretty girl I'll say "Hey, she's pretty" and point her out to my wife. She knows I'm not going to go after her.

OTOH, I wouldn't particularly be thrilled if my wife told a guy something like "You've got nice eyes." Why? Because guys, in general, think with their little heads. They usually don't know how to take a compliment and any girl who compliments them must be trying to get in their pants. "Nice haircut" or "nice shirt" that's fine to a guy. But anything that compliments a guys physicality, that's when they start thinking "she wants me."

I can tell you, however, that the phrase "Was your father a meat burglar? Cuz it looks like you've got two fine hams shoved down the back of your dress" would be inappropriate.

 

[ForceUser]

If I were single, I would have likely done something similar, Rel. I'd have probably asked her out, too. If I were in a relationship, I would have been thankful and appreciative, and I would have expressed that sincerely. But I probably would not have paid her the compliment. I'm not saying that it was wrong for you to do so, but I know that I would have felt a bit disloyal to my awesome other had I done it. I don't like feeling disloyal. I feel as though there's a decorum I need to follow when I'm in a relationship, and flirting would have been a breach of decorum in my internal world. How do I know this? Well, because I've done it and itr made me feel bad afterward.

On a related note, I'm with Rel on the "hot chick" thing. Actually, I've got a hang-up about hot chicks that goes all the way back to high school and getting embarassed by some of them in public at the tender age of "just realized what a penis was used for." Now I just assume that 1) she has a boyfriend, 2) guys fall all over her constantly, and I'm not going to be one of those guys, and 3) she's probably coasted through life on her looks and, thus, isn't worth the time of day anyway. Finally, to be brutally honest, I still have a juvenile complex that tells me that I can't get a hot chick, so I shouldn't try, because they'll just reject me because I'm not handsome enough or rich enough. This has really bit me in the butt a couple of times in my life when a smoking hot gal with a personality actually was interested, and I blew her off as a matter of course. Doh! That's what I get for stereotyping people.

 

[reveal]

If I were single, I would have likely done something similar, Rel. I'd have probably asked her out, too. If I were in a relationship, I would have been thankful and appreciative, and I would have expressed that sincerely. But I probably would not have paid her the compliment. I'm not saying that it was wrong for you to do so, but I know that I would have felt a bit disloyal to my awesome other had I done it. I don't like feeling disloyal. I feel as though there's a decorum I need to follow when I'm in a relationship, and flirting would have been a breach of decorum in my internal world. How do I know this? Well, because I've done it and itr made me feel bad afterward.

Paying a compliment != flirting. Your post definitely supports my argument.

 

[RangerWickett]

Rel, . . . thank you for this thread.

(And, just between the two of us, I wish I could rub my face in your pumpkins.)

 

[Rel]

Paying a compliment != flirting.

Agreed. I know because I flirt all the time. But I have a set of internal rules about it that I follow and the main one is that I don't flirt with a girl when I'm alone with her.

 

[Rel]

(And, just between the two of us, I wish I could rub my face in your pumpkins.)

They are large and firm, are they not?

 

[Captain Tagon]

I compliment people all the time. Just something I do.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Girls like it when you notice things about their appearance. I do it even with girls I'm not interested in. I'll say things like "Hey Stacy, I like what you did with your hair." or "Is that a new dress, Bridget? It looks good." I never saw much harm in it, even when I was currently in a relationship at the time.

 

[Rel]

I just got out of the shower and had a sudden change of heart about this whole situation. I forgot I'm wearing Axe deoderant and body spray now. I can't be going around telling women that they have pretty eyes!

I leave and the poor girl is left standing there with the burning desire to have sex with me in an elevator.

I may have to selectively give compliments in the future at times when I don't smell so damn sexy. *Shakes fist at sky* Good Hygene! How you burden me with moral dilemmas!

 

[Desdichado]

Paying a compliment != flirting.

Exactly, and given the way in which you (meaning Rel, not reveal) said it (as you were walking out the door) I don't see how this could possibly be interpreted as a come-on, or flirting, frankly. And the idea that it would come across as a veiled comment on her boobs, or whatever, seems patently ridiculous to me.

Yeah, I'd do this. I probably wouldn't tell my wife, but because I'd probably forget about it, not because I think I shouldn't.