I thought I was the only one.
Wow, wish I had come across this thread a couple weeks ago. Normally, I think compliments are great, everyone needs encouragement and I've seen a compliment really improve someone's day/emotions. Now, I'm mostly talking about personality or intellect or similar things here, I don't usually mention physical attributes (especially with the opposite sex) other than complimenting someone on their clothes or hair, or unless they are feeling down about some aspect of themselves that I feel is actually rather nice. Life is too short not to be nice to people and make them feel special. For the record, I am married, and I don't want to hide anything from my wife, and while secrets may be inevitable I believe honesty and openness should be the rule. Not sure if my wife would agree with me about being that nice to people, but that's how it is.
That said, I find myself in a perhaps similar situation to Rel. I've been working on a postgraduate course, and I was fortunate to make a lot of new friends among my classmates. As it happened, for the final stage of the course, a research project, most of my friends dropped out, except for me and one friend. Not sure how to describe her at this point, except that she is very beautiful. I say she is a friend, but for most of the time, I tried to avoid being alone with her, as I didn't want to put myself in an awkward position. When it came to the research though, we ended up spending a lot of time together sorting out wrinkles in our projects, and despite attempts on both sides to include the rest of our classmates, it was mostly just us. Now, I think I was a lot like ForceUser in assuming that she "1) she has a boyfriend, 2) guys fall all over her constantly, and I'm not going to be one of those guys, and 3) she's probably coasted through life on her looks and, thus, isn't worth the time of day anyway." But, as I was spending all this time with her, I realized that she was a really special person and a very good friend. Now, she really was an amazing help with my project, and deserved more thanks than I felt was appropriate to say to her, being married. So, sensing that we would all be going our separate ways and that it was something that she was needing a compliment at the time, I told her all this. She really freaked, and I think assumed I was making a pass at her. I tried to make it clear from the beginning that she was a friend and that I'm happily married, but I think I just ended up digging my hole deeper.
So now I'm really confused. Not having been in many relationships, I'm not quite sure what is appropriate in this area. I really want to be a good husband and a good friend, and to do the right thing. I'm not sure if that was, but it really felt like it at the time. Now I feel I've betrayed my wife and hurt a friend, when I was trying to be nice and say that she was a very special person. Any advice would be appreciated.
