dumbest game questions you never heard

[KidCthulhu]

I'm a ranger, right? I've got to have some meat juice on me somewhere.

 

[Drawmack]

Can I use my sword? (A monk)

Why can't I have the +3 Bastard Sword? (A druid)

If I write a background can I start at 2nd level? (backgrounds were mandatory)

 

[drnuncheon]

"Why did you give us so much XP?"

Hah. I've actually been asked this. It made my players very nervous...

J

 

[Siridar]

When asked that they can have the answer to one question they ask.

"Is that one question for each of us or one question in total?"

 

[alsih2o]

I'm a ranger, right? I've got to have some meat juice on me somewhere.

lol, this is funny, from a different "meat juice" incident...had a player spreading grease hoping to attract orcs (we were YOUNG).

he evidently thought orcs were actually large labrador retreivers

 

[Hand of Evil]

What happens if I pee on it?

Referring to a trap door in the floor! To this day, I have no clue why he ask that. I as the DM said "What? You have to try it." He then just changed to trying to pick the lock.

 

[brak1]

Fighter: So the goblin told you if you put all your items in the "magic room" they would all become magical?

Cleric+Ranger: Yep.

Fighter: And because I was unconscious you thought you'd help me out by taking my stuff and putting it in there as well?

Cleric+Ranger: Yep.

Fighter: And when you opened the door all of our stuff was gone and you can't find the goblin anywhere?

Cleric+Ranger: Um... yep.

Fighter: Well, it's a good thing you took my stuff as well.

Cleric+Ranger: Really?

Fighter: Yeah, because if I still had my sword I'd kill you both.

 

[MEG Hal]

What happens if I pee on it?

In training for the medical part of my profession we were told that urine is more sanitary than most other fluids...so that line was used for the whole academy...to this day we still out of the blue state " Can I pee on that?, or What if I pee on it?"

Oh the memories, thanks HoE!

 

[Kahuna Burger]

he evidently thought orcs were actually large labrador retreivers

Naw, more like giant pugs...

 

[incognito]

DM (me): You see the gargoyles breeding experiment - various creatures of all types are trying their darndest to copulate, after having the grey pasty liquid force fed them...on the table lies a vial of similar looking fluid, stored in a...

Fighter: I drink it!