dumbest game questions you never heard

[Crothian]

Why does my d20 only have 12 sides?

 

[alsih2o]

OH! cromagthian, that was too funny..

 

[MEG Hal]

OH! cromagthian, that was too funny..

Classic--Cromagthian

For somebody who plays with clay and has such long unamanagable hair, that was funny!

 

[mythago]

"Is that the thing you do with masks and handcuffs?"

Must....suppress....jokes about...subdual damage...

 

[Larry Fitz]

Players travel far and through great hardship to reach the Oracle of the Waters. This being answers a single question every ten days and only one question for a person ever in their lifetime. While the group is resting (having defeated the guardian of the Oracle)before using the Oracle one character stands before it, looking at it, and says, "Wow, so this thing will answer any question. Even if I asked it something dumb like, 'What is 4 times 7?"

A disembodied voice answers "28" Players descend upon him like hyenas on a dying elk....

 

[alsih2o]

with clay and has such long unamanagable hair, that was funny!

unmanagable? dude, with the new corporate structure my hairs productivity is up over 15%!!

 

[hunter2112]

When asked that they can have the answer to one question they ask.

"Is that one question for each of us or one question in total?"

I've actually been in a game where this one happened. Was an old Dragonlance module I think. Happened over 10 years ago and we still give the guy grief over it.

 

[cthuluftaghn]

Our party is being attacked by a young dragon....

(my character-druid) "Sense Motive check"

(hubby-DM) " You sense that he's pissed"

Not fair! That was gonna be MY stupid quote! I guess I'll have to come up with another one. This isn't word-for-word because I wasn't there, but my friend told me about this exchange in one of his Saturday evening games:


Halfling PC: I peek my head up over the ledge, what do I see?

DM: There is an adult red dragon staring at you.

Halfling PC: How far away is he?

DM: About 20 feet.

Halfling PC: That's far enough to charge! I run up and punch him in the belly.


Here's one from a pre-teen power gamer group I was observing at the local game shop that knows nothing of actually ROLE playing, and care nothing for party balance.

2nd Level Paladin PC: What's that one on that top shelf?

DM Shopkeeper: It's a +3 Blessed Keen Vorpal Longsword of Mighty Cleaving.

Paladin PC: Is it expensive?

DM Shopkeeper: Yes, but you fight for the cause of good. If you spend more than 1000 gold in my store, I'll toss it in with your purchase.


The all time best, however, is the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo, which can be found here.

 

[Monster Manuel]

Here's another one; It's not a question so much as a situation:

It was a 2e game. The players were beginning a quest to find a powerful magic ring, which was rumored to be hidden in the huge forest they had just entered. They had just left the village where they recieved the mission.

Me: As you enter the forest, the warm breeze on your faces, the birds begin to sing, an omen that bodes well for your quest. The-

Player : Are there any bushes?

Me:Yeah, a few. Any way, you-

Player: I search the bushes for the ring!

Me: (sighs) Roll.

Player: (Rolls) I got a 1! What's it look like?

Me: You don't find the Ring of Destiny.

Player: I keep looking...

Me: Whatever, dude.

This went on for about 10 minutes. the phrase "I keep looking!" became a catch phrase for our group.

 

[MEG Hal]

unmanagable? dude, with the new corporate structure my hairs productivity is up over 15%!!

I need to hire your hair!