TSR Example from the worst TSR adventure module(s) ever published

[jsewell]

Since no one highlighted this part of the 2nd encounter :

"The brigands will fight until they are all dead, or until the party has been killed."

Good Lord... "Should a PC forget to tell you his character is breathing, have him roll a Con check to see if he is choking. If he fails, he is allowed a second roll, this time with a -2 penalty or he will fall lifeless to the ground."

A real gem, thanks for sharing.



-Marco

Musn't forget: "If a brigand is captured, he will offer to lead the party to his hide-out (Area 2A Map) if they spare his life. He will not volunteer any more information about the hideout, but will not lie if asked a direct question about it."

Obviously the brigand wouldn't lie... That's just unconscionable!

 

[StupidSmurf]

Musn't forget: "If a brigand is captured, he will offer to lead the party to his hide-out (Area 2A Map) if they spare his life. He will not volunteer any more information about the hideout, but will not lie if asked a direct question about it."

Obviously the brigand wouldn't lie... That's just unconscionable!

Indeed...the brigand shouldn't give out false info...that's illegal.

 

[Insight]

I'm gonna pimp for our Bad Module Project again. See my sig. It's hilarious.

 

[BiggusGeekus]

Ah. That explains why the writing style seemed oddly familiar. He was heavily involved in one of the worst RPGs I own, Pacesetter's Time Master.

I always kind of liked Timemaster.

 

[LordVyreth]

Hahahahah! That second one kills me!

A group of men head by. They are not tarrying or running. Nor are they singing. They don't seem to be making apple pies. As far as you can tell, they're not talking about sports. They neither have sombreros nor stilts. These men are not acrobats. They have no expression as they don't dally to the west.

This is my favorite bit as well. I spent a whole day at work alternating between trying to keep a straight face and giggling madly. I think "These men are not acrobats" should go into our collective lexicon of geeky inside jokes, along with "my hat of d02 know no limit."

 

[Drew]

This is my favorite bit as well. I spent a whole day at work alternating between trying to keep a straight face and giggling madly. I think "These men are not acrobats" should go into our collective lexicon of geeky inside jokes, along with "my hat of d02 know no limit."

Seconded!

 

[Simplicity]

This is my favorite bit as well. I spent a whole day at work alternating between trying to keep a straight face and giggling madly. I think "These men are not acrobats" should go into our collective lexicon of geeky inside jokes, along with "my hat of d02 know no limit."

Heck, I'm *already* using it in my jokes...

 

[GrayLinnorm]

Addenda for my encounter (or any of the encounters given):

"If anyone is hit by the sleep spell, Chloe the nymph will try to revive them by slapping them, until she remembers that nymphs don't have physical attacks in 1e. Then she'll go back to wringing her hands."

 

[Crothian]

I'm pleased that I am a proud owner of this module. Got it for a buck last year used. I never read it it just went on my self for the day it could be used. THanks for pointing out this hidden gem on my shelf.

 

[Stormrunner]

Personally, I like the facial expression of the center goblin on the cover. "Help! I'm falling off my wolf! (And I can't get up!)"

 

[Orius]

Quibble all you want about content (and I know many of you will) from 1978 to 1982 TSR's editing was uniformally tight, with consistent, though rarely outstanding, production values. Their stuff was utilitarian, but not flashy.

From 1983 to the point I stopped paying attention to TSR anymore (about 1993) to say the editing was spotty would be an understatement. There were the "pet" projects that obviously got full attention from someone - The 1983 WoG box, I6 Ravenloft, the DL modules, the Gazzetteer series - but the majority of products were throwaways. You saw the same thing with the production values, outstanding in a few isolated cases (the DL series, for example), downright awful most of the time. In my view, basically anything produced after they started having that orange stripe at the top was suspect.

That doesn't surprise me given what was going on with TSR's upper management at that point.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Writing Prose Like the Pros

Entry
Obscured behind a wall of brambles is the entryway for a mighty subterranean Keep from ancient times. It is obvious that no one has passed this way in hundreds of years. The 2 stone doors are ajar, and behind them is an entrance chamber illuminated by torches. There is a hallway that goes to the left about 30' that has 3 doors (one every 10"), and there is a set of stairs descending into darkness on the right.

Left passageway:

Room 1
The party enters a 10'x10' room. It is empty.

Room 2
Everything of value has been looted by previous adventurers.

Room 3
The party enters a 10'x10' room see an Orc in leather armor standing before a small table against the far wall. Upon the table is a sculpture that appears to be the fabled Ice-Crystal Swan of Tarracab.

The Orc (HP 18, Studded leather, broadsword, Shield AC7, ring of spell storing) stole this priceless artifact from a Temple up the road yesterday. He is planning on selling it on the black market and buy arms for his tribe, and is hiding here to rest overnight.

If attacked, he will use the ring of spell storing to launch a Level 21 Delayed Blast Fireball, and follow that up with his axe...

 

[Tenser42]

Hehe, great thread, I'll give it a go:

Encounter #20 : The Apple Festival

The characters come upon an Apple Festival. There are no guards standing or sitting on duty, nor are they singing and carousing. The characters should not sing either, if they do sing or dance loudly, one of the guards at the nearby cherry pie stand will come over and tell them to be quiet.

A small child will pick the pocket of the character with the highest charisma. Fat child: AC 2, HD 5, hp 1 each, Move 6/8 (skipping), # of attacks 1, damage 1-4 (apple), In Liar 100%. Roll on the chart:

1 : The little gnome pulls the largest apple out of the PC's pocket, and vanishes.
2 - 3 : A guard catches the child and throws a blueberry pie in it's face. (The pie hits on a 4 and does 1d10 fire damage)
3 - 4 : The child is really a nymph looking for apples. If the PC's don't have one, she will give them 100g if they can find one for her.
5 -6 : The fat thief only has one arm and begs the most attractive PC to help him bob for apples at a nearby stand.

Regardless of whether or not the PC's rescue the nymph from the large gnome, the guards will tell them to place their weapons in the barrel of apple sauce. The guards will not sing as the PC's do this.

 

[LordVyreth]

I don't suppose we could get an official ruling on exactly how much of the module can be posted here? So far, we've only had 4 encounters in the 30+ page module, and I wouldn't mind seeing more. I know Quas didn't want to risk posting more, but if we got the mod's okay on exactly how much was allowed it should be okay.

 

[Vorput]

I realize this thread has been dead for a year, but it's much too funny for me not to post something... hehe

Vorp

 

[Ridley's Cohort]

Aiyee!

Obviously someone was thinking my Mythos score was too low, so I needed to have this thread called to my attention.

 

[awayfarer]

Encounter #42.7^2: The Diseased Yak



The characters are traveling on April the twenty-second of September. Twenty feet down the road they see an old farm with a farmer. 10 feet just apst where they were they did not talk to the nymph. Roll 1d6 for waht happened to the nymph
1-2: DM forgets nymph stats and looks them up in monster manual, becomes infatuated with picture and orders players home. If roll is a 1, he is discreet about it. If roll is a 2, he mumbles some off hand comment about a purple worm and scurries away.
3-6: Nymph has cast invisibility on self and goes unnoticed. On a 6, the nymph is surprised because she doesn't know that spell. Players will see no one gasp in surprise because they're not there. Their character won't see it either though.

Upon reaching the farm, the players notice that the farmer has been shot repeatedly in the face. Seven crossbow bolts, one labeled "monday" and the rest labeled "TUesday" jut from the dead farmers face. It is now Thursday. PC's can kick the farmer in the bojangles, he won't mind ebcause he is dead.

Roll a 1d6 and follow this chart
1: Yak tracks are noticed by someone, not necessarily the characters. It could be the farmer. If he notices them he says nothing because he is dead.
2-3: Players hear a yak cocking a crossbow. Dm leaves room after being wierded out by players who hear such things.
1-6: Characters notice yak tracks that are quickly recognized as not being yak tracks at all, but are from a stoat with strange footwear.
4-6: Stoat is actually yak in disguise. Roll 1d6 and ignore the result.

After the battle with the insane yak, players infer that the yak hated the farmer and planned on shooting him every day that week but decided to do it all on tuesday to save time later in the week. Nymph gives players 100 gp to leave.

 

[Vorput]

4-6: Stoat is actually yak in disguise. Roll 1d6 and ignore the result.

LMAO!!!

 

[PallidPatience]

MADNESS! MADNESS!

Seriously, though. That's frickin' hilarious.

 

[Prince of Happiness]

I think "Child's Play" is THE worst. I bought it because it said "Greyhawk" on it. Boy, was I pissed!