Hey

[Darth K'Trava]

Far, far too soon for that.

I didn't say right away. Wait until you can sort your feelings out.... last thing you want to do is get a date and then burden her down with all the negative stuff about your ex.... Let things settle down first and then see what happens....

 

[Krieg]

I didn't say right away.

Oh I know, I meant that it is just too early for me to even think about getting to that point right now.

She wants to come by one day this week and pick up the cats...and I'm going to miss the annoying little furballs something fierce too.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

If you actually like cats, maybe you should go down to the local shelter and get one or two. I'd miss not having any cats as I've had cats just about all my life.

 

[megamania]

Hey Krieg- sorry to read about it. I was nearly there a year ago. Wife was doing her own gaming if everyone understands me. It's been 10 months and I still worry about it at times. Anyway- hang in there. A new kitten might not be the worst thing either. It'll help keep your mind focused.

 

[Krieg]

With the break-up and all I'm not sure how much I will be home for awhile and I don't want to put another creature through all of that stress.

Plus unfortunately in the back of mind there is still that tiny bit of me that isn't willing to give up hope of reconcilliation. :\

 

[Darth K'Trava]

With the break-up and all I'm not sure how much I will be home for awhile and I don't want to put another creature through all of that stress.

Plus unfortunately in the back of mind there is still that tiny bit of me that isn't willing to give up hope of reconcilliation. :\

And who knows? Maybe after some time apart, she may feel the same way.... keep yer fingers crossed!

 

[Krieg]

And who knows? Maybe after some time apart, she may feel the same way.... keep yer fingers crossed!

The way she is acting right now I see virtually no hope of that.

I had a doctor's apointment after work today, and then went and spent some time with my dad who is leaving for about a month tomorrow. When I got home, the cats were gone and the only communication to me was a message on the answering machine that she was coming down to take the cats.

So much for a "couple of days" and "letting me know ahead of time". *sigh*

I just don't know who this person is and how my wife turned into her.

 

[Krieg]

Anyone care to give me some feedback on the following letter before I send it to my wife?

After my doctor's apointment yesterday I went down to my dad's to try
and spend some time with him before he leaves today. I was a bit
shocked when I left to find a message on my cell phone saying you were
picking up the cats.

I really wish I could have had some time to say goodbye to them and
not come home to an empty house completely unexpectedly. I honestly
love those cats and it is painful that I will never get a chance to
spend a bit of time with them and make my peace now.

You have said that you will not come down without letting me know
ahead of time and I think more notice of such an event would have been
fair. When I got out of the car at 7pm the phone had not rang at all
and there were no messages and when I got back in between 9-10 it
appears everything was already a done deal.

I believe I deserve a bit better than that. If possible in the future
I would appreciate notice a day ahead of time if you are coming down
if you don't actually get in contact with me.

I honestly do not want things to disintegrate to the level that they
seem to have done. We are both adults and should be able to work
through all of this in a mature fashion.

Since it is becoming more and more obvious that we seem unable to
communicate at any level right now I hope that perhaps we can use the
therapist to help us gain a better understanding of where each other
stands. I am going to sign a confidentiality waiver letting her
discuss my feelings/point of view with you and I am hopeful you will
do the same so that she can help me understand where you are coming
from on all of this. At some point I am still hopeful that we can
still see her together to help us work through some things. I want to
go alone right now, but hope that is a possibility a bit further in
the future. I honestly believe it would be healthy for both of us in
the long run.

I know you may not believe this right now but I am committed to
keeping this from becoming an uglier than it has already been. I wish
you only the best in this world and do not want to cause you any more
pain than is absolutely necessary during this process.

You are still important to me and I don't want to make this more
difficult for you.

I hope all of this make at least some sense. I don't hate you and I
don't want to screw you over. I am just confused and trying to make
sense of it all right now. I don't want to end up hating one another
and right now I am terrified that is how things are going to end up.

I am going to do everything in my power to try and be fair and
equitable towards you during this and I hope you can give me the same
consideration in return. We both deserve that.

I wish I could express my feelings a bit better than this but am still
somewhat in shock over the past few weeks. Right now I honestly don't
know who you are and it scares me a little bit. I am hurt and angry
but I don't hate you and I have no desire to ever hate you. I just
want to get through all of this in the healthiest fashion possible.

I truly am sorry that we have ended up here.

 

[Darth K'Trava]

The way she is acting right now I see virtually no hope of that.

I had a doctor's apointment after work today, and then went and spent some time with my dad who is leaving for about a month tomorrow. When I got home, the cats were gone and the only communication to me was a message on the answering machine that she was coming down to take the cats.

So much for a "couple of days" and "letting me know ahead of time". *sigh*

I just don't know who this person is and how my wife turned into her.

I don't know.... I'm saying that it'll take time for her to sort out whatever's going through her mind right now and let things settle. There may be more to this, as we only have your side.... she may call you several forms of "idiot" or something. We don't know... A woman's mind is different from a guy's. We can hold "grudges" of things that happened months, even years ago. Stuff most guys have long since forgotten...

Blame it on the full moon! People seem to be acting like jerks since the moon went full a few days ago..... Acting like a major PMS trip or something....

Just take things slow and hang out with your dad for awhile. Maybe the two of you can have a "father/son" talk and he can give advice...

 

[Darth K'Trava]

Your letter seems fine to me. Maybe start of with something friendly before launching into what you've written so far. The beginning seems a bit harsh, try to soften it up a bit. I know it's hard for you after all this happening all at once. But she's gotta be feeling similar, going through alot of pain too.