How Dragonbane Pointed out the Clashing Desires of My Gaming Group

[DEFCON 1]

The problem I've found with that is the longer gap you leave, the more likely people get out of the habit and may even end up committing the time frame you want with something else.

Which is probably exactly what Retreater needs. Which is why he should do it.

If the players all find something else to do with their time, then they truly didn't need Retreater to kill himself for them and he's now much better off. But if they all hang around and want to play again in 4 months time... he at least can say "Well, if you want me back, then we're doing things my way from now on. Otherwise, someone else can run this stuff."

 

[Thomas Shey]

Which is probably exactly what Retreater needs. Which is why he should do it.

If the players all find something else to do with their time, then they truly didn't need Retreater to kill himself for them and he's now much better off. But if they all hang around and want to play again in 4 months time... he at least can say "Well, if you want me back, then we're doing things my way from now on. Otherwise, someone else can run this stuff."

Honestly, that strikes me as a really baroque kind of passive-aggressive way to say "I don't want to GM any more this way" without saying it.

 

[MichaelSomething]

Are there any brave Enworlders who live near the OP? Perhaps one of us can run some games to give him a break??? Or maybe run a game online???

 

[DEFCON 1]

Honestly, that strikes me as a really baroque kind of passive-aggressive way to say "I don't want to GM any more this way" without saying it.

Well, if I'm remembering correctly from the quite numerous number of threads he's posted over the past couple years, he's pretty much said this very exact thing and his wife told him to do it anyway. And since he's continually done it liked asked and has not stopped DMing through countless campaigns that he's hated running, at this point trying to stay polite is pointless. So yeah, I'd passive-aggressively or even active-aggressively tell the group that we're done through the end of the year. But we'll see if Retreater actually takes the break he should have taken a year or so ago.

 

[AnotherGuy]

Are there any brave Enworlders who live near the OP? Perhaps one of us can run some games to give him a break??? Or maybe run a game online???

That is a helluva nice idea.
I'm thinking someone just run a game for the poor dude and his other mate with a similar style of play.

 

[Retreater]

Thanks everyone. I do get to play in online games: one Pulp Cthulhu and the other Pathfinder 2. There was a time I was also running online for those groups, but other players lightened my load.
I've been lightening my load on the in-person game. Just going from a more crunchy system to Dragonbane is helping. I think they're starting to come around. My wife and I have had several long conversations over the past week, and we're making some good progress in communication about the game and our relationship.

 

[Aldarc]

Thanks everyone. I do get to play in online games: one Pulp Cthulhu and the other Pathfinder 2. There was a time I was also running online for those groups, but other players lightened my load.
I've been lightening my load on the in-person game. Just going from a more crunchy system to Dragonbane is helping. I think they're starting to come around. My wife and I have had several long conversations over the past week, and we're making some good progress in communication about the game and our relationship.

"Sometimes I really just wanna do big damage numbers against you!"

 

[Thomas Shey]

Well, if I'm remembering correctly from the quite numerous number of threads he's posted over the past couple years, he's pretty much said this very exact thing and his wife told him to do it anyway. And since he's continually done it liked asked and has not stopped DMing through countless campaigns that he's hated running, at this point trying to stay polite is pointless. So yeah, I'd passive-aggressively or even active-aggressively tell the group that we're done through the end of the year. But we'll see if Retreater actually takes the break he should have taken a year or so ago.

That's my point; once it gets down to that, I've never seen a situation better served by passive-aggressive than blunt. Its not like people don't usually recognize the former, and to people who see blunt as contrarian, all it does is make you seem both contrarian and disingenuous.

 

[Retreater]

"Sometimes I really just wanna do big damage numbers against you!"

The couple that flanks together stays together.

 

[Thomas Shey]

The couple that flanks together stays together.

Hey, I play with, GM for (at least in one campaign, played with her as GM) too. I just know it can sometimes be fraught.