It's hard being an adult gamer

[Oryan77]

I have tried for the last year to run at least a bi-weekly game. So far I'm averaging about 1 game every 2 months. What's worse is that I've formed a new group within the last 6 months trying to get more play time and we still don't play any more than I was.

To top it off, I can't get anyone excited about the game because we don't play enough where we can really develope their characters and get emotionally involved in the campaign. I understand people have real life to deal with, but I always get the feeling that my game must not be important enough to work schedules around like I'm sure they do to play World of Warcraft.

I don't think I'm a boring DM. When people first start playing, they are really into it and we'll play all the time. But then after several sessions the schedules always seem to be once a month or less. It's as if they'll put the game as their first priority for the first few sessions & after that it becomes, "if I don't have anything else going on, I'll play".

Is this a sign that I need to improve my game or is it really just part of being working adults? I'm cool with looking at myself to see if I'm the problem, but "I" think my games do have a lot of flavor and excitement in them. If I was going to blame a session for being dull I would blame all the wasted time that the players spend focusing on rules & battle tactics.

Is it a bad sign also when the DM is always the one asking each week, "Anyone up for a game this weekend"? I would think if players wanted to play, they would be bugging me all the time about when we're going to play next. Or is that the difference of being young vs being adults now?

 

[kanithardm]

i have this problem too. Just ditch your players and become a player for another DM. Worked for me.

 

[Southern Oracle]

It took awhile to build my core group of five players who could make it to a weekly tabletop game. We've had as many at 9 people at one time, but those extra were not reliable -- the latest dropout was with us for about 4 months, but has stopped coming, saying he won't be free to return for another 3 months. He wants to work extra shifts and pay off his new heat pump as early as possible. On the one hand, I applaud his work ethic; on the other, I'm annoyed that his character has to go "poof" and disappear in the middle of an adventure.

We do play once a week, but the only day everyone is available is Sunday, so we make the most of it. People come over to the house after church about 2 p.m., and we play until midnight or 1 a.m. My wife cooks dinner for everyone, and they bring drinks and snacks for the game. My wife and one other guy have to be to work at 8 a.m. on Monday mornings, but they bite the bullet and make the sacrifice for the sake of the game.

I hate to say it, but if your players were serious about the game, I think they'd make the time.

 

[Oryan77]

Well the weird thing is, I prefer being a DM rather than a player. I'm an ambitious DM! I usually manage to juggle my schedule around so I can DM...only for it to end up a bust because players flake out on me. Which as any DM knows, that's a huge waste of my time spent preparing for the session.

Here's a guy who ONLY wants to DM, and I can't get players to take advantage of that. So I'm left wondering if my games are boring or something...yet I know if we would just play my games the players would have a blast. I can understand how players wouldn't get excited to play a campaign that they aren't attached to, so they don't make it a priority to make a session. But you've gotta attend sessions & play the campaign to get attached to it.

I don't get it. Do adult gamers bug the DM about when the next game is going to be, or was that only when we were kids? I always feel like I'm bothering people by asking them if they want to play.

 

[Aeson]

keep your current group and form another. Play with them in another game or maybe run the samething with them and see if it goes the same way.

Ask them if there is something wrong with the game.

 

[Oryan77]

I hate to say it, but if your players were serious about the game, I think they'd make the time.

Is this a sign that I don't run fun games, or is this pretty common with most gamers? I've tried both learning to be a better DM and providing fun games, and I've tried getting new players (the new players are also flaking just like the old players). I've asked everyone if they enjoy my game and they say they do. But I'd think that if they enjoyed it they would make it a priority to attend twice a month.

 

[spyscribe]

How far in advance do you try to schedule?

In our game we figured out that we could only really play on weekends, and so towards the end of every month the DM sends out an email listing possible dates for the following month and asking everyone to send back when they are potentially free.

Since we do all have lives and jobs, it helps to have gaming "on the calendar."

 

[IronWolf]

My group is a group of adult gamers. We play every other week on Thursday nights. So far I think we have played everytime we were scheduled too, save for one time there was three weeks between games instead of the normal two due to scheduling issues of the DM.

We play on weeknights as they seem to be easier to schedule for the majority of us. It makes going to work the next day a little rougher, but we try to get started by 6pm-ish and play until 10:30pm-ish. I think everyone is pretty into the game and I try to keep the character leveling pace frequent enough to be fun for the players.

We do use a message board between sessions to keep in touch and assist with planning the next one. It has worked very well for us. Some are quieter than others, but it does give the group some cohesion in the time between the sessions.

We have one DM and five players. We only cancel if we can't have at least three players there. There have been times we've played with one DM and three players, but a fun time was still had by all.

I agree life as an adult gamer can be a little more difficult, but once you find people willing to commit to a scheduled game. Advertise up front what you expect and with a little luck you can put together a good group. Good luck!

 

[Aeson]

My group can only manage once a month. We had planned to play this weekend but one dropped out then another then another. We rescheduled for the next weekend.

I think it is a common problem these days. I used to play with a group that would play all weekend every weekend. That has not happened in a long time.

Of course it could be you but mostly likely it is them.

 

[freebfrost]

Is this a sign that I don't run fun games, or is this pretty common with most gamers? I've tried both learning to be a better DM and providing fun games, and I've tried getting new players (the new players are also flaking just like the old players). I've asked everyone if they enjoy my game and they say they do. But I'd think that if they enjoyed it they would make it a priority to attend twice a month.

I've run into this problem.

It could be that your friends are not truly "gamers." They may find it occasionally fun, but not something that is a priority in their lives.

(I know... it's hard to believe, but not everyone is like *us*...)

I have quite a few "part-timers" that I occasionally run in one-off sessions, but I had to reassess my gaming crew a few times to find a good core group.