It's hard being an adult gamer

[twofalls]

I don't get it. Do adult gamers bug the DM about when the next game is going to be, or was that only when we were kids? I always feel like I'm bothering people by asking them if they want to play.

I find it interesting that you would ask this question. No, adults (who are truely mature) don't hassle their GM about when the next game is going to be, because thats nagging, and it's impolite. Games for adults have to be scheduled in such a manner that they can be anticipated and planned around so generally everyone knows when the next session is happening. Summer months and year end holidays tend to simply be bad for gaming when you are playing with adults who are primary caretakers of families. In addition, adults (again with the afore stated condition) tend to honor their commitments and if they have to cancel them it's for an appropriate reason. Now whether their reasons are appropriate in you mind or not I can't say.

I have two groups of gamers, who meet every other week each, so that I am gaming once a week. The general excitement level of the games is high, and I know that they are having a good time... they are also my friends and respect the effort I put into entertaining them. If you are gaming with folks who either don't respect your time, your game, or you, then that might explain your issue, but there are any number of other possible reasons. Asking us to say if its your game itself or not is quite impossible to reliably answer. I get the feeling from your posts that no one on Enworld plays in your game so all in all, with the information you've provided its just not possible to answer your questions. Even with more details (short of meeting you and sampling your game) are we likely going to be able to give you what you are after.

I think the sugestion to start a new game is a good one... and I'd advise trying to fill it with good friends. Best of luck.

 

[IronWolf]

I've created a message board for the campaign...not a single person has even signed up on it

That's probably not a great sign! The message board for our group is one of the things that really helps us keep the group in touch with each other between sessions.

 

[Aust Diamondew]

I set up a day working with everyone in the group (right now it's thursday) where we can all play. We usually play for about 4-6 hours then go out for dinner and call it a night. I try to not let anything get in the way of the game night.

 

[Storminator]

We play Thursday nights, and it's going pretty well. We're on our 3rd game on Thursdays, the first two groups having disintegrated from scheduling.

I've dropped out of two weekend games this past year, including one that was probably the best campaign I've ever played in. I just can't do it. In fact, looking over my weekend schedule, I could make it to exactly one weekend game between now and early October. And that weekend is likely to fill up before it gets here.

So it took me 6 games to get a good weekly session going.

Welcome to old age!

PS

 

[IronWolf]

Part of being an adult means responsibility. Part of being a mature, well-rounded person means having other things going on in your life, from work to marriage to kids.

Not picking on JoeBlank here, the statement above echoes what many others have said so I just happened to quote his...

I agree being an adult means responsibility, so if an adult says they can make an every other week game then they should be able to make an every other week game. Gamers aren't the only ones that get a group of adults together for some entertainment. Golf leagues, bowling leagues, softball leagues, ice hockey leagues, etc all have adults that get together to play their game or sport of choice on a regular basis. Why is gaming any different?

When I worked on getting our current group together I stated up front we needed committed people. So far it has worked out great. Sure, we have had some people miss - that is life. Since January we have only had to shift times by a week once. I think this is a result of everyone in the group doing their best to stick to scheduled game night.

 

[Ogrork the Mighty]

I think that people who really want to play will make room in their schedules to do so. Playing once every 2 months sounds like the players really aren't all that interested/committed. It's just like when someone won't buy a PH or dice (assuming they're not poor); if they were really interested in the game they would do so but when it comes to spending money (i.e. making a personal sacrifice) they balk. That's someone who isn't all that committed to the game.

One thing you can do to maintain interest is start up a messageboard so that everyone can keep in contact and (hopefully) maintain interest during the downtime.

 

[Oryan77]

I find it interesting that you would ask this question. No, adults (who are truely mature) don't hassle their GM about when the next game is going to be, because thats nagging, and it's impolite.

Hmm, I was thinking of it more like the players being excited to play and asking me if we could play an upcoming weekend. I'd be flattered if a player wanted to get the ball rolling and check if I'm free. Instead, I have to ask everyone to play 100% of the time. I'll even go weeks without a single person asking me if we're going to be playing soon.

 

[Arkhandus]

Perhaps you should try getting your group to try gaming with ya over OpenRPG, WebRPG, or a similar free program online? It can be useful for groups who don't live close to eachother, or for isolated folks like me who have a hard time finding other gamers nearby. It's easier to arrange time for games when ya don't have to commute or something, and you don't have to clear a table and such for it. Though it does limit the amount of props and such you can show the group, since it's online, but it's the way I've been gaming for the last 2-3 years, and it's still fun. You can also find other groups through these programs, by checking the game servers and asking around, particularly the public and dev servers. If you use another program like Roger Wilco alongside OpenRPG or WebRPG, you can even talk with your group as you play, rather than having to type everything out during play (though such speech programs do require you to have a computer microphone to use, of course).

http://www.openrpg.com
http://www.webrpg.com

Alternatively, maybe you should try playing a different system, like D20 Modern, Dawning Star, Blue Rose, Castles & Crusades, Lejendary Adventures, Everquest D20, Shadowrun, Ars Magica, HARP, Star Wars D20, Traveler, GURPS, Transhuman Space, Blue Planet, Dragonstar, RIFTS, Robotech, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, or whatever. I've only tried a few systems myself, but there are plenty of options for folks who want a change of pace. Or perhaps try running a different-level campaign? If you usually start at low-levels, maybe try a mid-, high-, or epic-level game, for instance, for a change of pace.

 

[Oryan77]

Golf leagues, bowling leagues, softball leagues, ice hockey leagues, etc all have adults that get together to play their game or sport of choice on a regular basis. Why is gaming any different?

Good point. After reading these replies, I just assume my players aren't that commited to the game for various reasons. The above quote is my view on this problem. They had no problems attending the games early on probably because it was a new game for them. Now that they've had their feel of the new experience, it's not as important to work it into their schedule anymore. Just like when you buy a new video game and you play it for 2 days straight. After that it's down to a couple hours a night. The reason they probably don't bother making an effort to attend like you would a bowling league is because you'd be kicked off the bowling league but most likely not kicked out of a D&D game.

 

[twofalls]

I'm not sure if anyone else does this, but I make being part of the group a privledge that few recieve. I call my two game groups, Game Clubs, and each group has a name. One is called the Sangine Sentinels, the other is called Underworld99. The way I make it a privledge is to require that entrance into the game club be a process. I make it clear that in order to become a member you must first be sponsored by a current member, and then go through a period of three games where the club tried you out. After that time the entire group will vote your sponsorship and a single no vote is enough to deny you entrance (for any reason). I futher make it clear that one (of several) responsibilities held by members is that they show up for 3/4 of all games. If a member fails to do so they are automatically expelled from the game (pending a vote over extenuating circumstances). Also, any member can be voted out of the group with a simple 2/3 majority.

This contract makes it clear from the start that we value our game time, and aren't interested in players who don't have the same values. The folks in the game don't invite friends in who they feel wouldn't be a good fit, and no one has to game with someone they just can't stand.