The best way to make sure everyone hates bards as much as you do is to make all your NPC villains bards.
I mean, we’re all existing in idiosyncrasy. I’m here discussing how the industry has changed (and how it hasn’t) and how we should acknowledge the humans we play with while complaining in another thread about a player wanting to be a PC hadrosaur.
Maybe the only way to convince everyone of how terrible bards are is for you to run nothing but bard NPCs in every game you DM?
Well, it is my greatest ability and skill that I can get my blood angered up by just about anything! I thank genetics and upbringing for that. As I like to point out, Mama Snarf believed in the theory that a child learns best by doing. Which is why she tossed me into the lake so that I would learn to swim! Wasn't that hard, either, after I got out of the bag.
But yes, I live to have my blood angered. I have gone straight past dislike to hatred, and have SMASHED the subscribe button to every youtube channel available that discussed the perfidy of your garden-variety bard. This is not a question of convincing others of the truth of the proposition that Bards defy physics- they are manage to both suck and blow at the same time.
Saying I hate bards does a true disservice to the deep well of antipathy I have cultivated toward those miscreants. Allowing them into a game as villains might allow them to propagate further, and I do not want to be responsible for their multiplication.
My hatred of Bards is the fuel that warms the cold, dark cockles of my heart as the sun grows ever dimmer during each Winter. I hate Bards like a young child loves Christmas morning; with unreserved enthusiasm. In fact, with the Holidays approaching, all I can ask for is spiked egg nog, and, well... a wish!
If I had one wish that I could wish for this Holiday Season, it would be that WoTC would kill off the Bard and all the gamers of the world would join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this Holiday Season, the first would be that WoTC would kill off the Bard and all the gamers of the world would join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be that WoTC would give other people stuff they want, too.
You know, if I had three wishes I could make for this Holiday Season, the first, of course, would be that WoTC would kill off the Bard and all the gamers of the world would join hands and sing, the second would be for people getting stuff they like, and the third would be for me receiving 30 million dollars every month. Preferably tax-free. I mean... have you seen those tax rates?
And if I had four wishes that I could make this for this Holiday Season, the first would be the crap about WoTC killing of the Bards and the gamers getting along and stuff and singing, the second would be other people getting nice stuff or whatever, the third would be for the money, and the fourth would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. SNARFUS REX!
Wait a minute, maybe the all-encompassing power should be the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, killing the bards and all those gamers singing and getting along ... that would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all the gamers together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! Not to mention ... have you seen people lately? Have you even read facebook or twitter/X or the comments on youtube? So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the power. We go with that. Second, the money. And then give other people what they want ... NO, wait, we give ME what I WANT. Which is killing off the bards. And other people singing and stuff. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. Actually, maybe that's my first wish. Mostly because of social media. And also because that would be the bards as well, plus DEREK!!!!! But let's assume I have four wishes.
And, of course, my fifth wish would be for other games to get stuff they want. As long as it's eliminating the Bards.
Now I have heard people say that I drink too much, but I only drink to separate my knowledge of the existence of Bards from my consciousness.