Married? Give me advice!

[astralpwka]

Marriage isn't 50%/50%. Both must give 100%.

Men: Every morning, apologize. It doesn't matter if you don't know what you did. Women expect you to read their minds.

Remember why you got married, and that your mate is another human being, not a possession. Look at your spouse every day and remind yourself why you fell in love.

Quote I heard a long time ago: "I Like you because.... I love you despite..."

Be open with your sexual fantasies with each other and keep it fun. Too many of my married friends only have sexual relations once a month. (!!!) Come on, everyone knows we guys talk too much.

There's no place for jealousy until there's reason for it. We are human, and we like to window-shop.

Don't. Forget. Anniversaries.

Don't talk bad about your inlaws.

Hold hands. Often. Be proud to be seen with each other.

 

[Treebore]

I'm surprised at how good the advice has been.

My advice, listen to what has been said.

 

[Nellisir]

Trust. Always assume it's the two of you against the world. Pick your battles, and LEAVE the ones you don't pick.

That's about all I can add. My wife and I are very happy (well, I'm not happy at the moment, but it's because I'm in New Hampshire and she's in Texas, and I've been in Florida for the past week while she's in New Hampshire, and I'm sick of sleeping alone, so I unintentionally have not slept a wink all night tonight, and I have to go get on a plane to Texas in 2-1/2 hours).

I can't speak for anyone else, but it's a little frightening to me sometimes how accurate the phrase "she completes me" is. She's a logic-math-brain jock; I'm an intuition-writing-brain geek. She pays the bills on time, and I write nasty letters to the companies that try and say we didn't pay on time. She spends her time at the gym, the volleyball league, and coaching; I spend my time writing and working on the house. She won't call people on the phone, and I can't make small talk at parties.

Congratulations
Nell.

 

[hong]

Password protect your pr0n collection.

 

[Psychic Warrior]

Password protect your pr0n collection.

Finally some practical advice!

Trust, honesty - bah! Save the pr0n!



Yes I am kidding and no I can't add to the excellent advice given here (and will start following some of it myself )

 

[johnsemlak]

Always remember that love transcends reason. Sometimes, your loved one may become upset at you even when rationally there is no reason to be upset. Try to be understanding of that.

 

[Khairn]

If your wife is not a gamer then I have a few tips for you.

1. Plan out your gaming ahead of time so that she can make plans (for you and her) around that schedule. If you game too often, recognize that and cut back. I know its hard but it will be important to both your relationship and your sanity.

2. For everynight (or session) that you are gaming, plan that same amount of time for her and you to do whatever she wants to, whether that's cleaning, shopping or whatever. Promote that idea, push it with her, and make certain she knows that you are thinking of her as much as you are thinking about gaming. Whether that is true or not is completely irrevelant.

3. Build up your HP's (husband points) and use them for attending Con's or having the "gang" over for a weekend gaming session.

4. Congrats and have fun.

 

[Turanil]

I thought I'd see what you all had to say about marriage!

And then:

I have no advice to give.

I think I am beginning to figure out how Crothian managed to post 24,000 times...

Use it to learn the lessons that will make your second marriage so good (works for me )

LOL! Words of wisdom here!

Too many of my married friends only have sexual relations once a month. (!!!)

Don't tell him right now, he will learn by himself soon enough! (Sorry to disappoint you).


My own advice (and yes I have been married, and not in a hurry to do that a second time): Communication! Express your feeling and emotions. Don't keep bad emotions and feeling inside, it's bad on the long term. Of course it also apply to your wife: she also must express her emotions and feelings. Now, when it comes to anger and similar emotions, you must express them without aggression; you can scream, but keep it expressing your anger not attacking her. Oh well, there is a much excellent book on communication (and I have read many, so trust me this one is uber excellent): Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion. (get a look at the reviews: only maximum ratings!). This book can greatly help anybody better communicate with others. When things get tough in marriage, it can really help.

 

[Klaus]

Remember to always have the last word:

"Yes, dear..."

 

[Naathez]

I've been married (that's not legally married, but we live together, and to me that's the same) for an year and 3 months and a half now.
I can honestly say the advice I've read on here is truly, truly, truly good. Many have stressed communication and honesty before me, so it's useless to re-emphasize. I'll add one little thing.

Try to never forget, not even for a moment, what it was like when you were NOT able to be together whenever you wanted. Having that possbility, to just look up and see your loved one whenever you desire, makes one (at least me) easily overcome many, many moments when you're angry, or upset.

Then again, i'm a hopeless romantic, of course. All bards are.