Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[TiQuinn]

Snarf: If you could be any kind of animal, what kind of animal would you be?

Job Applicant: That's a weird question. What does that have to do with the job?

Snarf: Humor me. What kind of animal?

Applicant: .....um, a cat. I'd be a cat.

Snarf: Huh. Interesting answer! Why would you want to be a cat?

Applicant: Well, I have a cat. And it seems like a great life. Sit in the sun. Get fed. You never really have to do anything. It's pretty much how I want to live.


The applicant did not get the job.

My answer is cat because I can have total disdain for the people above me despite the fact that they provide my food and clean my litter box.

Do I get the job?

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

The exam to get into either our middle school or high school program (don't remember which) included what animal you would be. I picked hippo and it was probably about having no natural predators. For a job I guess it would that you can fight off any challenge and get to wallow in the mud and get dirty doing things?

Interviewer: Why'd you pick hippo?

Snarf: Hippos kill more people than lions, elephants, and crocodiles combined. Now, let me tell you how I can help with your company's .... bard problem.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

STOP!, Panic time...

View attachment 418332

U Can’t Cope This

 

[Mannahnin]

I'm assuming for the interview I should leave out about the part about spinning my tail like a propeller and launching sh*t everywhere...

I saw this happen live and in-person once.

Thankfully I was on the other side of the enclosure from the people experiencing it... more viscerally.

 

[Mannahnin]

"Hippo, what is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, to drive the tour jeeps before you, and to hear the lamentations of the tourists."

 

[Nikosandros]

Snarf: If you could be any kind of animal, what kind of animal would you be?

Job Applicant: That's a weird question. What does that have to do with the job?

Snarf: Humor me. What kind of animal?

Applicant: .....um, a cat. I'd be a cat.

Snarf: Huh. Interesting answer! Why would you want to be a cat?

Applicant: Well, I have a cat. And it seems like a great life. Sit in the sun. Get fed. You never really have to do anything. It's pretty much how I want to live.


The applicant did not get the job.

Luckily (for me) I did not have to take an interview to get my job.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Interviewer: Why'd you pick hippo?

Snarf: Hippos kill more people than lions, elephants, and crocodiles combined. Now, let me tell you how I can help with your company's .... bard problem.

If I got that question, I’d first ask if it had to be a real animal, or if fictional ones were fair game.

Assuming it had to be real, I’d probably go for some kind of dinosaur or mammal. Anklyosaurs, elephant moa or smilodon would be top contenders.

 

[Cadence]

I saw this happen live and in-person once.

Thankfully I was on the other side of the enclosure from the people experiencing it... more viscerally.

Only seen it from far away, or from a mini-hippo on the other side of a glass wall.

"Hippo, what is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, to drive the tour jeeps before you, and to hear the lamentations of the tourists."

With a video integrating this with your previous response to show the reason for lamentations.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"Hippo, what is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, to drive the tour jeeps before you, and to hear the lamentations of the tourists."

Now I want to play a Giff barbarian in Spelljammer.

 

[Levistus's_Leviathan]