I'm easily entertained. I can spend hours watching videos such as [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBA_lxUiwSg&feature=player_embedded]YouTube - Funny kitten can't jump[/ame].
As I am simple, my critique is also fairly basic. Movies either suck, don't suck, are awesome.
Predators sucked.
Here's a spoiler alert but it's not like anything I'm about to write will ruin the movie for you.
***SPOILER ALERT***
Plot (Broad): You start with 8 people. You end with 2. It's like every other "horror" except this one doesn't feature suspense, "good" action, memorable moments, gore or sympathy for the characters.
Plot (Specific): Eight people are dropped on an alien planet and hunted by predators along with other beasties. There's also a survivor from an earlier hunt but he's blown up pretty fast. The movie wants something to be clear and I'll try and convey its intentions:
The people that were dropped are bad people. They are evil. The worst of the worst. Scum of the earth. They're not just the best of the best, combat wise. They are the worst of the best, alignment wise. You need to understand that everything these people have done in the past will send them straight to the bottom layer of Hell. Let me hit you in the head with a whiffle bat while repeating the phrase: "Do you get it? Do...you...get...it?" These people will rape you, set you on fire, kill your grandma and set her on fire all because they can. Bad people. Got it?
Except one guy. He's the odd one out. Ok? He doesn't really belong here because he's a doctor and doesn't have any weapons. He's a good guy. Unlike those murderous puppy stompers I mentioned earlier. This guy was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. He's kind of pathetic and couldn't possible be evil.
So despite the fact that everyone is Chaotically Evil Hilarious, they can all work pretty well together. Strength in numbers and all that.
Order of Deaths:
1st) The Mexican. Or more like a Mexican't. Amirite? Danny Trejo, one of my all time favorite dudes, dies without even a struggle. Oh well, he lit people on fire so it's ok.
2nd) The African. Or more like Afr...never mind. He at least gets to kill a predator dog (as in pet) so he was somewhat useful.
Between the second and third kills they meet Laurence's character who's a Vietnam vet. He's been on the planet for 10 hunting seasons which is shown to be about a day long at the end of the movie. He's gone proper mental so gets blown up. Only really fun character in the film.
3rd) The Russian. NOOOO, he had a family. Kills a pred though. +2 xp.
4th) The American incestuous rapist death row con. Croaked after an overconfident cheer.
The team is on their way to the pred ship which they hope will fly them back to Earth. The preds are having a civil war it seems so a pred that was tied up near the ship might be able to help them.
5th) The Japanese mobster. The 4 left over are running from the last two preds when Super Yakuza decides to go mano a predo with his new found sword. Kills the pred but dies in the process.
6th) The Doctor. The good guy...turns out to be the BAD GUY. Wait, what? But this whole movie you've been saying he was good. He doesn't belong with the scum. Now you're saying he's a murderer. Oh man, what a mind screw. Blown up.
Adrien "Batman Voice" Brody's character survives and despite his evilness has a change of heart that saves the IDF lady with the sniper rifle.
It was the exact same movie as Predator one but I've seen a couple dozen of such films since then and it gets dull after a bit.
Tell you what. Ignore for a moment that my opinion doesn't matter, here's what would make the sequel better:
Instead of dropping humans again (boring), let's go all out.
Tymon Eggleston proudly presents, in association with (big name)
Predators
vs Aliens
vs T-800
vs T-1000
vs Robocop
vs Darth Vader
vs Rambo
vs Steven Seagal
vs Tom Cruise (not so much for the hunt but more for the red dots and subsequent boom)
vs Batman
vs Major Motoko Kusanagi
vs ninjas
vs 300 Spartans
Am I missing anything? The preds want a challenge. There it is. Add Chuck Norris for extra fun. And by fun I mean a round house kick/frame.
As I am simple, my critique is also fairly basic. Movies either suck, don't suck, are awesome.
Predators sucked.
Here's a spoiler alert but it's not like anything I'm about to write will ruin the movie for you.
***SPOILER ALERT***
Plot (Broad): You start with 8 people. You end with 2. It's like every other "horror" except this one doesn't feature suspense, "good" action, memorable moments, gore or sympathy for the characters.
Plot (Specific): Eight people are dropped on an alien planet and hunted by predators along with other beasties. There's also a survivor from an earlier hunt but he's blown up pretty fast. The movie wants something to be clear and I'll try and convey its intentions:
The people that were dropped are bad people. They are evil. The worst of the worst. Scum of the earth. They're not just the best of the best, combat wise. They are the worst of the best, alignment wise. You need to understand that everything these people have done in the past will send them straight to the bottom layer of Hell. Let me hit you in the head with a whiffle bat while repeating the phrase: "Do you get it? Do...you...get...it?" These people will rape you, set you on fire, kill your grandma and set her on fire all because they can. Bad people. Got it?
Except one guy. He's the odd one out. Ok? He doesn't really belong here because he's a doctor and doesn't have any weapons. He's a good guy. Unlike those murderous puppy stompers I mentioned earlier. This guy was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. He's kind of pathetic and couldn't possible be evil.
So despite the fact that everyone is Chaotically Evil Hilarious, they can all work pretty well together. Strength in numbers and all that.
Order of Deaths:
1st) The Mexican. Or more like a Mexican't. Amirite? Danny Trejo, one of my all time favorite dudes, dies without even a struggle. Oh well, he lit people on fire so it's ok.
2nd) The African. Or more like Afr...never mind. He at least gets to kill a predator dog (as in pet) so he was somewhat useful.
Between the second and third kills they meet Laurence's character who's a Vietnam vet. He's been on the planet for 10 hunting seasons which is shown to be about a day long at the end of the movie. He's gone proper mental so gets blown up. Only really fun character in the film.
3rd) The Russian. NOOOO, he had a family. Kills a pred though. +2 xp.
4th) The American incestuous rapist death row con. Croaked after an overconfident cheer.
The team is on their way to the pred ship which they hope will fly them back to Earth. The preds are having a civil war it seems so a pred that was tied up near the ship might be able to help them.
5th) The Japanese mobster. The 4 left over are running from the last two preds when Super Yakuza decides to go mano a predo with his new found sword. Kills the pred but dies in the process.
6th) The Doctor. The good guy...turns out to be the BAD GUY. Wait, what? But this whole movie you've been saying he was good. He doesn't belong with the scum. Now you're saying he's a murderer. Oh man, what a mind screw. Blown up.
Adrien "Batman Voice" Brody's character survives and despite his evilness has a change of heart that saves the IDF lady with the sniper rifle.
It was the exact same movie as Predator one but I've seen a couple dozen of such films since then and it gets dull after a bit.
Tell you what. Ignore for a moment that my opinion doesn't matter, here's what would make the sequel better:
Instead of dropping humans again (boring), let's go all out.
Tymon Eggleston proudly presents, in association with (big name)
Predators
vs Aliens
vs T-800
vs T-1000
vs Robocop
vs Darth Vader
vs Rambo
vs Steven Seagal
vs Tom Cruise (not so much for the hunt but more for the red dots and subsequent boom)
vs Batman
vs Major Motoko Kusanagi
vs ninjas
vs 300 Spartans
Am I missing anything? The preds want a challenge. There it is. Add Chuck Norris for extra fun. And by fun I mean a round house kick/frame.
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