Werebat said:
To be fair, as good a movie as Finding Nemo is, the whole point of the movie is that the father is
too nurting, too timid and he spends the entire movie "de-mommifying" in order to be a better dad.
You are right -- the media tends to focus on male nurturing only as a background for the "main event" of righteous violence. But this constructed image hurts real fathers in the same way that the image of the big-boobed chainmail bikini heroine hurts women.
I do not agree that these things "hurt" as a function of what they are, rather than as a reflection of how individual people see them because of ways they already are.
I have children. I just fed and rocked my infant son to sleep. My love for him goes well beyond a willingness to stop and punish anyone who would harm him. I hardly think that I am an unusual father.
I am a dad, too, and I love my kids more than anything in the world. But that doesn't mean I have to be less masculine in order be a good dad -- just smarter than I was when I was 25.
Yet when I am hauled into family court I am treated to a system that automatically assumes that I am a devious, violent, child-molesting ogre -- and that my ex is a helpless, faultless, long-suffering "real" parent. Why is this?
In absolute seriousness, I am so sorry you had to go through such a thing. But the idealized portrayal of things masculine and feminine didn't cause your situation -- it was a culture that vilifies and attempts to emasculate men that did that to you.
Men and women are different. This fact cannot rightly be used to justify the dearth of images of male nurturing any more than it can be used to justify the dearth of images of female (insert traditionally masculine positive quality here).
It can't be used to justify their inclusion either. Indivual artists will create the images they desire and the consuming public will determine what fits our wants, needs and dreams. People like to complain about the images of men and women we see, but if you look closely, you see lots of different kinds of images, different stereotypes and archtypes. Spend an evening watching network TV. Forget the shows. Watch the commercials. You'll see how diverse our unrealities really are.