D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!

[BoldItalic]

"Thank you for your kind offer of hospitality, Count, but we really need to be getting to the East Pole," said Hermione.

"Yeah, on account of the HoHo guy with the sack. We need to sleigh him," added Throg.

The count looked grave. Well, actually, he looked coffin but that doesn't read so good. "I can certainly send you to the East Pole, if that is your wish, but I feel I should warn you ..."

"Oh-oh. Here it comes." thought the Brogue.

"... that it lies on the far side of the Orogenic Mountains and the only way you will get there, is to fly in by magic carpet. Does any of you have an up-to-date pilot's licence?"

"No problem," said the genii, who was still with them. "I'm fully qualified on magic carpets A, B and H."

"Don't look down," warned Hermione a little later.

"Why not?" asked the son of Throggsonn, peering over the edge of the carpet. "Oh, I see what you mean. Where did they come from?"

"Fasten your seatbelts and no smoking," ordered the genii as he put the carpet into an Immelmann turn. Tracer bullets whistled past a few feet from their ... feet.

"What kind of dragons are those?"

"Mk IX Spitfires. You can tell from the four-bladed propellors and the enlarged radiator cowls."

"They aren't in 5th edition! It's not fair! The DM is cheating!"

And a great voice spake: "Roll for initiative."

 

[Lanefan]

As beyond-immense boulders with dots on each side thundered into the landscape below the aerial dogfight, out of the sun roared a Beagle on a Sopwith Camel (that looked suspiciously like a doghouse), guns a-blazing and scarf a-trailing.

The Spitfire pilots, on seeing what they were suddenly up against and fully aware of the well-earned reputation of their fearsome new foe, immediately failed every possible version of a morale check and dove toward their lines as fast as their engines could speed them.

The Beagle pulled up alongside the carpet, flipped a jaunty wave to its riders, then sped off back into the sun from whence he came...leaving Throg, Hermione and the rest to wonder what the fleep just happened...

 

[rgoodbb]

They half crash-landed on earth. The canyon they landed in was not too big, not too small but just right. This was not a cold earth. It was not a hot earth. But just about a right earth. Let’s call it somewhere in the Middle. Throg swept his Golden-ey-Locks out of his eyes.

“I need a drink…”

They found a tavern with a few bottles of Delirium Brandy….It didn’t take long…….

“Haaa! Remember that time when Klick-Klack – [That’s you mantis], knocked yourself out after a nanny Spector scared the banjo out of you?”

Tlak-lik-taklok. [I remember, darling for the seventh time yes. What of it, luv?]

“You leapt forty feet into the air. The only trouble was there was a ceiling. Fifteen feet above you. You were cold out. We were like why did he do that dude? Hehe.”

“We must concentrate. We have to get to Nottingham”

“One does not simply wander into Nottingham……Hic.”

“Not all those who wander are lost”

“We have to get passed Oxford first”

“You…shall…not…pass!..Hic.”

“Oxford. The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.”

“We don’t have a lot of time”

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

“We must move on. We cannot linger”

“How will we get there?”

“Fly. You fools…..Hic…snore”

“We have to see a man about a thing”

“What thing?”

“Just a thing”

“Hey. Has anyone seen THACO? He hasn’t been mentioned in quite a few posts now”

THACO popped his head out of his rope trick
“Still here”

“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve….Hic”

Klick-Klack knocked over his glass of Delirium Brandy.
“Fool of a Klook”

“It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.”

“Alright. Who are we seeing?”

“He's one of them Rangers. They're dangerous folk, wandering the Wilds. What his real name is I don’t know but round there his name is Hood” Replied the Barman. “Will you take my four kids with you? It aint safe around here no more. Come on Poppits”

“Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the thing.”.................

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

"OW! My HEAD! That's the last time I try to bury the hatchet with the Yancey Street Gang in a Russian bar. Soooooo much vodka..."

*whisping*
"Did someone here call me? I heard my name."

 

[BoldItalic]

As they stumbled through Oxford heading vaguely north along St Giles, a tavern passed them on the left-hand side. "I know this place," said Hermione, "I used to come here as an undergraduette."

Throg peered through half-drunken eyes at the sign over the tavern. "Is this the Eagle and Child?" he asked, "where Morse and Lewis and JRR Talkative used to hang out?"

"More or less right" said Herrmione charitably. "Except it was C.S. Lewis the author, not the sidekick in the Inspector Morse stories. And yes, it's the Eagle and Child, or, as it's universally known, The Bird and Baby. Shall we go in?"

Inside was quiet. There were one or two drinkers in tweed jackets and pullovers discussing Kierkegaard but otherwise it seemed perfectly abnormal.

"What will it be?" asked the barkeeper languidly. He was reading PPE and would probably end up as chairman of a bank or a prime minister or something equally dreadful if he wasn't careful.

"Ah, now that depends on the meaning of 'be'. Is it the existential 'be' or the epistemological 'be'?" offered Hermione, dropping back smoothly into her mis-spent youth and remembering hot summer days taking afternoon tea on the college lawns.

Throg shuffled his feet uneasily. This wasn't his world. The sooner they got back to the Quest, he thought, the better. He turned on his heel and walked out. But his vision was playing tricks. It seemed an awfully long way across to the other side of the road. Roads shouldn't be that big. Or maybe he was too small. He looked suspiciously at the piece of mushroom he was holding in his hand. It looked nibbled. He flung it away in disgust whereupon it was caught by a passing caterpillar smoking a hookah who exchanged nods of greeting with the genii.

The flight onwards from Oxford to Nottingham passed without incident and they landed the carpet on the roof of Nottingham Castle just as the sun was setting. "Good place to spend the night," decided Spiton.

Little did he know how wrong he was ...

 

[Obeliske]

/agree

This seems to be an incumbent problem on many forums and I have left them for exactly the same reasons. What really gets my goat is people listen to the person who's been around the longest or the person with the highest post count more then the new guy when the new guy may be coming at the problem from a direction others havn't thought of. I've found many cases in games (like Warhammer) where RAW people are doing something wrong because it's how they were taught or it's how other people are doing it rather then bothering to do it right and passing these wrongs around and fighting to support them because that's just how it is. I tend to be a lurker with a history on forums going back many years longer then my join date or post dates simply because I don't care to get involved until I have a question idea or suggestion that is pertinent. An example I came across on this forum for instance is a fellow wishing to teach a group of players and DMs the error of their ways because they aren't playing RAW. I would point out that with DND specifically there is no way to do it wrong its not Raw>RAI or RAW>anything, it's FUN>RAI>RAW and anybody who argues otherwise needs to grow up. The rules in this system are more of a guide then a heavy handed ruleset.

I've added you to friends in case you ever return and I hope you find what your looking for.

 

[BoldItalic]

/agree

This seems to be an incumbent problem on many forums and I have left them for exactly the same reasons. What really gets my goat is people listen to the person who's been around the longest or the person with the highest post count more then the new guy when the new guy may be coming at the problem from a direction others havn't thought of. I've found many cases in games (like Warhammer) where RAW people are doing something wrong because it's how they were taught or it's how other people are doing it rather then bothering to do it right and passing these wrongs around and fighting to support them because that's just how it is. I tend to be a lurker with a history on forums going back many years longer then my join date or post dates simply because I don't care to get involved until I have a question idea or suggestion that is pertinent. An example I came across on this forum for instance is a fellow wishing to teach a group of players and DMs the error of their ways because they aren't playing RAW. I would point out that with DND specifically there is no way to do it wrong its not Raw>RAI or RAW>anything, it's FUN>RAI>RAW and anybody who argues otherwise needs to grow up. The rules in this system are more of a guide then a heavy handed ruleset.

I've added you to friends in case you ever return and I hope you find what your looking for.

A good answer. Well said. There is a slight weakness in your position, though, insofar as any assertion that FUN>RAI>RAW is ipso facto itself a rule (albeit a meta-rule) and is self-defeating because anyone can claim that it's more fun (for them) to play the game the other way around. Some people enjoy punctiliously sticking to RAW even if it makes the game less light-hearted, and they are entitled to their say even if others find it irksome. You just have to pick and choose which threads to inhabit according to how congenial they are to you personally.

But bravo for speaking out.

 

[rgoodbb]

As they set the flying carpet down on the roof of Nottingham Castle, The Party/Fellowship were immediately surrounded by dozens of crossbowmen. Throg put his body in the way of the four Poppets.
“You can all surrender now”. He said “I’ll give you this one chance.”

“Wait, wait. Burt 'n' Joyce, Wilford, Arnold, lower those! No need for bloodshed. Guests. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Tuck. Cleric of the Food Domain, and you are most welcome here.”

“I don’t get this” Whispered Throg to Hermione. “The last post said that thing they often say at the end. You know that little did they know stuff. Y’know to set up the next post. Y’know? And before that they said it was a good place to spend the night, y’know? Well that now means the opposite doesn’t it? I think. I feel so weary with all this thinking. Can we fight?”

”Not just yet” Hermione whispered back. “Cleric Tuck. We are grateful for your welcome invitation.”

Halfway through the banquet, Spiton said “So we’re looking for this dude called Hood. You know of him?”

The room became silent. Or more precisely, the people in the room became silent, because rooms are not usually loud all by themselves. Well except there was that one time, at band camp..but we digress.

“Hood, you say?” Tuck was booming in anger.
“Out. Out with you. Be gone!”

The Party/Fellowship of the thing, hastily made it out of the castle and into the great wood of Sher.

Where they met a Pixie called John, a Warforged he Made called Marian and an odd tiefling called Will save Scarlet…….

 

[CapnZapp]

At least [MENTION=6875555]Thedip[/MENTION] has stayed true to his promise, and not made another post after the original post of this thread. That's something, I guess.

 

[rgoodbb]

At least [MENTION=6875555]Thedip[/MENTION] has stayed true to his promise, and not made another post after the original post of this thread. That's something, I guess.

That is quite something isn't it?

The amount of posters declaring they're out of a conversation and then dipping straight back in is amusing

The trick I guess is not to read on afterwards. Tempting though it may be.