Star Wars DVD

[mojo1701]

I agree with this.

Oh, absolutely right!

 

[Dark Jezter]

I agree with this.

It's funny because it's true.

 

[Guilt Puppy]

Actually, Natalie Portman *is* godawful "Plan 9 from Outer Space" bad in the prequels. I have no idea why this woman is critically acclaimed as an actress. She's horrible.

It's because back when she did The Professional, she really impressed everyone in that "wow, most kids can't act nearly so well." But then she grew up, and while she still acts well for a twelve-year-old, she's not twelve any more, and it stinks. It's just people remember when she impressed them so much the first time around, so they stay with that first impression... Same reason Haley Joel Osmont (or however you spell it) is still around.

Anyway, the thing that pisses me off about the special edition isn't just that it's "ruining my childhood memories" -- although it does come back to that -- it's that they're unwatchable, and a cheap marketing ploy. You know that in 2-6 years he's going to release an unedited version. The logic is this:

- The people who don't care will buy the first version that comes out, and then go on not caring.
- The people who want the unedited will still probably buy the first one that comes out, regardless, and then the unedited one if they release that.
- The people who want the Special Edition would do the same if he released them in that order, but those people are actually a lot fewer than the purists, so it makes more sense to release them in this particular order.

The wait between releases? Just a way of creating an artificial sense of scarcity to increase demand... It's crap, cheap corporatism, and kills any last thread of artistic legitimacy Lucas and his films has.

At this point, I have as much affection for Star Wars as I do for WalMart or Starbuck's. It's just a big, dumb machine that wants to get my or anyone's money.

The deathblow came when I tried watching the first movie (I did not buy this release, I should mention), thinking that it would still appeal to some sort of sentimentality. But whenever I came close to that (it's not that easy to begin with, considering that the movies, especially the first one -- the only one Lucas directed -- are actually pretty bad, through adult eyes), there would be some scene that popped at as new, "digitally enhanced," and glaringly out-of-place.

My objection isn't that he's "messing with my memories" -- if the changes were subtle, I wouldn't care... In fact, I'm sure there were some I didn't notice. But these CG sequences (which are so shoddy by CG standards that they look worse than most of the original effects), with all these weird sweeping camera movements which don't occur anywhere else... It's not that they disagree with my memory, it's that they're just downright bad filmmaking. No one with any cinematic sense would produce a film from scratch which was so aesthetically inconsistent... If they redid every effect with shoddy CG, and gave every shot this wild, drunken movement, it might still be watchable -- but hopping back and forth between muppets and rigid, flat scenes and this other, New Lucas style... They destroy my ability to suspend disbelief, which makes all the other flaws (horrible dialog, poorly-directed acting, et cetera) stand out all the worse.

As an example, the whole "who shot first" thing with Greedo? As a relative non-fan, I'd never been aware of the debate; watching the new release, though, that shot seemed really really unnatural. It just didn't look right, and broke my suspension of disbelief, yadda yadda, so later I go consult the internet (which, I was correct in assuming, is teeming with talk of the changes, although I still can't find a real compilation of everything that was altered), and first learn about the whole debate.

Ugh.

When the Special Edition first hit theatres, it was interesting, if only as a novelty -- now, that novelty has long worn off, and what remains is a mangled chunk of something that cannot be enjoyed as a movie. I have no interest in owning this set of DVDs, and won't buy the unedited version when it comes out -- partly because I disagree with the whole marketing strategy, on principle, but mainly because I just no longer have any interest in the series, (save for venting my frustration at its loss ). With all the crap about six more or no, three more now, and Natalie Portman, and kiddie appeal and merrrrhcand-ising! and midichlorians and Greedo-shoots-first and ugly CG and sweeeeeping camera shots and....... If I have any sentimental affection for the series left, it's buried far too deep under all of that to be worth digging up.

Congratulations, George Lucas. Like the Lakota who found use for every part of the buffalo, have managed to be completely wasteless in dismantling your greatest cultural contribution for profit.

When I think about it, there's something sort of admirable about that, in an Andy Warhol sort of sense.

 

[driver8]

Ok my Star Wars comic offering. Not as funny PvP's but humorous.

http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/

 

[driver8]

Actually, Natalie Portman *is* godawful "Plan 9 from Outer Space" bad in the prequels. I have no idea why this woman is critically acclaimed as an actress. She's horrible. I really want to like her; really, I do. She seems like a very nice person when I see her in interviews. But her performances (in both Star Wars films, anyway) are so wooden that any movie she is in now goes onto my "never watch it" list. Except for Star Wars III, because I am a completist and will see it no matter who's in it.

In fact, she's so bad, she makes Jake Lloyd (or whatever the brat's name was) look competent as an actor.

Myself Id have to disagree. Ms Portman seems a reasonably skilled actress. She has been in a Woody Allen film (Everybody Says I Love you), Cold Mountain, and most recently Garden State. My opinion, but I wouldnt fault her.

The Star Wars films have had so many great actors in them - and few really outshine the pretty stilted dialouge that GL put forth. Heck even Alec Guiness seems to struggle to put some life into his rather small part (rather succesfully) and poor Liam Neeson comes across as slightly comatose since he has to be reserved in control and speak those terrible words.

 

[beeber]

i agree with guilt puppy.

off to originaltrilogy.com for me.

 

[Kai Lord]

I think the new DVD's are great, the only alteration I didn't really care for was the extra footage in the Mos Eisley cantina:

http://www.livemike.com/demos/Jedi_Cantina_Dance.mov

 

[Tom Cashel]

Anyway, the thing that pisses me off about the special edition isn't just that it's "ruining my childhood memories"...it's that they're unwatchable[.]

(I imagine this is going to be tough to understand, but...)

"I couldn't stand to watch it" and plain old "unwatchable" are completely different things.

See, you have to open the DVD player first, and then insert the disc. Only then are they watchable.

 

[billd91]

Myself Id have to disagree. Ms Portman seems a reasonably skilled actress. She has been in a Woody Allen film (Everybody Says I Love you), Cold Mountain, and most recently Garden State. My opinion, but I wouldnt fault her.

The Star Wars films have had so many great actors in them - and few really outshine the pretty stilted dialouge that GL put forth. Heck even Alec Guiness seems to struggle to put some life into his rather small part (rather succesfully) and poor Liam Neeson comes across as slightly comatose since he has to be reserved in control and speak those terrible words.

I have to agree. If Lucas can so badly mishandle good actors like Ewan MacGregor, Liam Neeson, and Samuel L. Jackson, what chance do fairly decent actors like Natalie Portman and new actors like Jake Lloyd have?

 

[KenM]

Some good Dork Towers this week about the new DVDs.

http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/