This applies to the iPad as much as the iPhone, so I figure it's ok to respond.
First let me say that iOS sucks in many ways and I'm regularly irritated with it. That said, some responses that will likely help you with iOS:
I still chuckle at the confusion and worry that resulted when auto correct "fixed" a message I was sending my wife when I was leaving the gym, from "getting changed, on way home" to "getting hanged on way home".....needless to say, that worried her.

And it wasn't a typo, because the little auto correct window popped up (this was early on, before I realized how it worked).
It was auto-corrected, but it was also a typo, in that auto-correct suggestions only match the number characters you type and their positions. In this case you likely typed something like "janged" or "yanged" and, knowing that J/Y are close to H it suggested "hanged." If you'd typed "cjanged" or "cyanged" it would have suggested "changed." Auto-correction can still totally suck and often does, but I figure it's worth noting how the tech works.
How about if I book a client meeting into my calendar, including my address, and in the notes field, I add the client's phone number. You'd think that, if I'm on the road, and I'm caught in traffic and am going to be a few minutes late, I could simply go to the calendar, click on the phone number in the notes, and have it call the client? Of course not. I have to look at the notes, then go back to the home screen, then go to my phone and type in the number. Not convenient at all when on the run. With the Blackberry, all you do is go into your calendar, see the phone number, click on it, and it calls. Easy.
Hmm. The built-in Calendar app does do that. I just added this event with a phone number in the Notes section and it's immediately hotlinked to placing a call. The same happens with calendar items I add in Gmail and Outlook:
A: Anything that looks like a phone number will be highlighted (along with email addresses, urls, and street addresses).
B: Tapping on it pops up a dialog that allows you to call the number tapped.
I've been too scared to try the banking apps, not knowing whether the phone is secure enough to do it safely.
You might not, but no lesser security organization than Sophos
considers their security to be comparable.
How difficult is it to put "find text in page" into your browser? Really. Blackberry, the "infererior" device, has been doing this for years. And it works. Very well. There have been 4 generations of iPhone, and that feature still isn't there, unless you go and buy a clumsy add-on app, or download a new browser such as Mercury.
While it took until iOS 4 was released a year ago, in-page searching is definitely available in the built-in Mobile Safari app; you just need to know how to use it (it's somewhat obscure). I used it on the main ENWorld page for this example:
A: On any page click in the Google search field in the upper-right of the browser and type your search.
B: An "On this page" bar will appear right above the keyboard.
C: Swipe up on it and the keyboard will disappear and the in-page search options will be displayed (multi-word search and partial matches can provide additional options). Tap on the search term.
D: The page is again displayed with the first match highlighted.
E: Use the Next and Previous buttons in the newly-visible toolbar at the bottom of the browser to navigate from match to match.
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Again, plenty of problems, and I agree with several of your complaints wholeheartedly, but I figured I'd provide some tips on the ones that are solvable/solved.