Women who Roleplay at Convetions: Stalking Incidents?

[Fenros]

As I read through this thread, I started to wonder if the environment has also something to do with the stalking ratio.

So far, (at least in this thread) no one has yet to tell a story that matches the 'stalker' level as the stories from the Japanese RPG manga artist. This would suggest that it happens less here in America.

I wonder, would it happen more if more of our cities were laid out the same way as major cities in Japan? In Tokyo, (I've only been there once) it seemed very easy to get around by subway and once you took the proper trains, it usually dropped you of within walking distance of your destination. Now how many places in America do that? I think New York is one. Chicago maybe another. But I can't think of any others. Of course my knowledge of American cities is also limited.

Given the easy public transit system, its easier for one of these socially retarded male con guys to stalk a female back home. If you were to do it in an average American city, you'd have to stalk her (most likely) to the convention/hotel parking garage. Get in your car (which is no where near her car or within line of sight), visually find her car before it leaves to disappear into traffic, then follow her through traffic to her home. It seems more trouble than to just walk behind someone for an hour. Knowing that you need almost CIA like tailing skills, maybe most guys who would've stalked....didn't because its too inconvenient?

I don't know. I just thought I'd throw out this thought as another possible 'factor' in these things.

But I'm sure there are cons where the convention floor is attached to or very close to the hotel where a female con-attendee may be staying. So I guess that environment is just as convenient (actually more convenient, because its less travel distance) than the Tokyo city route. So if the American cons had the same type of guys attending as the Japanese ones, you might've heard about it by now? But then again, you may need to be hearing from more convention goers than just the ones who showed up to post here.

I dunno. I'm just rambling now. But I mostly was trying to think of other 'factors' involved.

 

[Andy Kitkowski]

SNIP Given the easy public transit system, its easier for one of these socially retarded male con guys to stalk a female back home. SNIP

Yeah, interestingly enough I was having the same thoughts last night. I think there's definitely a point in that as well.

 

[Ysgarran]

I was stalked by a disturbed young man when I was in high school. He played D&D specifically, he ran a game for me (my first experience with D&D) but his stalking of me didn't really involve gaming. He went the whole nine yards, though, complete with following me around the town, following me around school, spying in my window at night, breaking into my house, it just kept escalating. He was a heavy-weight wrestler and quite large and intimidating, and there were no anti-stalking laws to fall back on in those days. After a couple of months of this I finally had to move to another state, where I got letters and phone calls from him for a while. It was a deeply traumatic experience.

It is surprising that you got involved with gaming at all after an experience like that. It seems many people would permanently associate this guys behaviour with gaming. Fortunately you didn't.

It is true that you can and will meet jerks (mild term) anywhere and in any particular endeavor.

Ysgarran.

 

[Templetroll]

I had worked for a small company that had a booth at GenCon for a few years with spokesmodels. They were resigned to the idea that most folks considered them 'booth babes' but our company got complimented by them for actually explaining out product to them! Apparently, the typical con show of any kind would consist of more time spent on how long breaks would be than on what the product was.

Every once in a while the spokesmodels would complain about some congoers trying to touch them at the booth; they would try to keep those types in front of them, or grab a clipboard as a shield.

The only time anyone sought intervention by one of the guys working the booth was our spokesmodel who was only 16; the jerk got bored real fast talking with some guy.

Folks who were at other booth sometimes got enamored with a spokesmodel. A writer for a game company was penning poetry to one of our spokesmodels, which would have been okay, but he was slipping it under the door of her hotel room every day. That creeped her her out.

Our con director wrote a song for the male employees when we were going to ComDex in Las Vegas; one line in the chorus went:

"The spokesmodels are all married and not interested in us, not interested in us!"

It was accurate. I think we were better behaved than we might have been otherwise, thanks to her.

 

[davewoodrum]

There was one rather bizarre individual who went to a nearby community college that I was taking classes at who was a gamer that I knew who had a thing for my girlfriend/fiancee/live in (who he had seen like a total of 1 time with me out in town)... and was pretty interested to know any and all sexually related details, not that he got much out of me..... but then this same "gentleman" (for lack of better words ) had a thing for anything that moved and was also interested it seems in more deviations.... he was intrigued to meet a friend of mine that I partied with in college, a dominatrix sort of type (okay, I was pretty wild back then...)... particularly because of... well, I've already described her "talents" so you can finish that one yourself.
Well, anyways.... yes, he was a gamer but he was also a "not worker" (deadbeat), roam around town to amuse one's self type... hog up the pc lab all day.... bum quarters to play video games.... and ogle every female that passes by.... which he made most of them feel pretty nervous. I guess I should probably be more nervous now if I was to ever bump into him again because the last I heard, it seems that this young man has decided that gender preference, particularly for the opposite, was nothing more than a burden and a barrier... so I think now anyone and possibly anything is open for option.
In a nutshell, he was kind of a gamer because it was another day dream that could simply occupy his time and all.

Which kind of brings me to the point.... I think that this mis-representation that we see with gamers as "nerdy, socially "retarded" sexists" is that truly our hobby is as every bit as diverse as any other form of entertainment or activity. But since it is an interactive story or rather fantastical "day dream" of sorts that can help some escape from reality or merely pass away the time we get our generous share of individuals that have difficulty with socializing or keeping themselves entertained otherwise... and truthfully too when these characters are combined with a few shy intellectuals who may have quite good intentions and character but simply do not know how to approach a member of the opposite sex, we get a stereotype branded on the majority of the hobby as a whole.

Not that I'm saying kill the report... mind you, I love any sort of neat socio-science type of write up, especially if the research has been made and the writer tries to stay as non-biased as possible.... but...

There is a truth that we, as hobbyists, do have a tendency to be judged by what is perhaps the "worst" of our groups. At least with the "evil devil/ritual killing" stuff of the 80's, the tv religions were simply fueling an unintentional ad campaign that caused any teenager with so much as a thread of curiosity or rebellion in them want to know what D&D was.... and maybe even buy a book or two.

 

[mythago]

I had worked for a small company that had a booth at GenCon for a few years with spokesmodels. They were resigned to the idea that most folks considered them 'booth babes' but our company got complimented by them for actually explaining out product to them!

You didn't hire any male spokesmodels?

Of course harassing and grabbing the spokesmodels is never OK. I just don't get deliberately selecting attractive women to get attention for your product, then express surprise that people are less interested in the product than the model.

The auto industry used to do this, too, btw. They finally figured out that when people come to the autoshow to see the hot babes in bikinis, they aren't looking at the cars. So they switched to hiring attractive men and women in, like, normal clothes.

 

[Americancyco]

On the topic of girls taking it the wrong way. I have seen this happen a lot not only at conventions but in daily life. I'm not saying most of the guys at Cons aren't hitting on the girls (most of the time they are) but there have been times when a girl just thinks everyone wants her and if someone is just being friendly they take it the wrong way. This has happened to me at work. Thie younger girl that worked in a different department thought I was hitting on her. I wasn't just bored and talking. She then told one of her friends the long haired guy with tattoos was hitting on her until her friend (who was at my wedding) set her straight. After that she turned out to be really cool.

A few years back in Choicago at a Godzilla convention I went with my ex girlfirend. Now she was hot and a lot of guys where chekcing her out. But that was the extent of it. She felt everyone there was weird and talked in a starnge language. The language that comes with knowing way too much information about Godzilla . But she was also a girl that felt every time a guy asked her for the time he was hitting on her. It drove me crazy and I can speak from first hand knowledge some girls do react this way.

Another convention I went to at a college I meet a few girls there that just loved getting the attention from guys. Almost to the point of where it could have turned into something dangerous. There was this one girl I was hanging with most of the convention, (I meet her at a oriental adventures game I ran) but she just loved the attention from guys. There where a few other ones there also.

But I do agree that most of the guys I have meet at Cons have probally never had a date or really talked to a girl in a social setting. You can usually tell the guys that have and the ways that haven't. Drolling usually is a dead give away for me. But I have also noticed a lot of these same guys are still too shy to o up and talk to girls or if they do it's usually something to do with Vampires, wizards or about their 97th level elven ranger named Bob. We all know what a great pick up line that is.

Over all what I'm trying to say is it works all ways. Guys can be jerks (as in the extreme case of the poor girl that was attacked and later died). That is truely a very sad story. No one should ever suffer so much for something that is just harmless fun. Some guys are just harmless and clueless. Some girls over re-act and some people just love the attention and risk putting themselves in a dangerous situation.

 

[jdavis]

You didn't hire any male spokesmodels?

Of course harassing and grabbing the spokesmodels is never OK. I just don't get deliberately selecting attractive women to get attention for your product, then express surprise that people are less interested in the product than the model.

The auto industry used to do this, too, btw. They finally figured out that when people come to the autoshow to see the hot babes in bikinis, they aren't looking at the cars. So they switched to hiring attractive men and women in, like, normal clothes.

When I see pictures from foriegn car shows in the magazines (Particularly the Tokyo auto show) they still have alot of the scantily clad women laying across the hood type of spokesmodels, it could just be the magazine pictures but I always thought it was sort of wierd, I thought American car shows had put alot of that behind them years ago.

on the topic of stereotyping, I really hate that, I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, I dealt with alot of silly crap in the 1980's with the whole devil worshipping bit. People seem to get the opinion that gaming is all wierdo types who don't fit into normal society, but that is just silly. Gaming doesn't make people anything, it is all what people bring into gaming with them, if you are a nutcase who games, then you are a nutcase, what does gaming have to do with it. Yes gaming draws in alot of odd people but gaming doesn't make you odd. There are alot of "normal" people who game too, and most of the really smart people I know game or have gamed in the past. The problem is that the wierdest oddballs out there end up being taken as the typical gamer, I am sure that not all Trekkies speak Klingon and are socially inept, but thats what they show on TV so that must be typical. I have two daughters and I worry more about them becoming popular and hanging with the cool top of the school types who think that they are gods gift to women and think saying no means yes, than I am of them hanging out with geeks and nerds who are so scared of girls that they can't talk normal to them. Yes there are bad people everywhere you just can't stereotype one group as being bad with women.

 

[Rashak Mani]

Quick comment on good looking women in ads and car shows... unfortunately it works. Very few men dont get their attention caught by this kind of "cheap" trick...

It works so they use it all the time.

 

[mythago]

Again, it didn't "work" at car shows. People came over to see the models. They looked at the models, ignored the cars, and went home. When the car makers switched to clad models (male or female), the problem went away.

I really don't understand companies, game or otherwise, that hire models with the idea "Hey! People will see our cute booth babes and stop!" Then they are shocked, shocked when the people stopping don't immediately switch their attention from the salesmodel to the War of 1812 simulation.