D&D 5E You find a magical _____, it does _____

[ArchfiendBobbie]

Stocking of Old Nick
This woolen stocking appears almost cheery - dyed a vibrant red and adorned with green trim. In actual fact this item is a portal to the personal demesne of the devil known as "Old Nick". The reddish dye is in fact blood, which may be noticed by the more educated or perceptive. Old Nick delights in the slow corruption of innocents by giving them gifts which lead to their slow downfall. Examples: Drugged sweats, weapons, false icons of faith. Old Nick, however, is prone to long periods of somnolence. He rarely notices that the stocking has a new possessor more than about once per year. Old Nick has the ability to read the mind and discern the base desires of the stocking's possessor. He places his "gifts" through the portal, leaving them within the stocking.

Next item: A miniature silver tea-set.

Well, since I got skipped last time I posted...

The Tea Set of Harmony

This tea set was created by an ancient elven diplomat, name long lost to history, who first established diplomatic relations between their nation of elves and early humans.

If a character uses this tea set to brew any kind of tea, the tea set gives them a bonus to Charisma and advantage on diplomacy checks for as long as they serve and drink tea with the person they are interacting with.

Next item: A romance novel

 

[Mad_Jack]

The Tale of Laogeritt the Beautiful

This cheaply-bound softcover book was created by a particularly hideous green hag named Laogeritt, a mage of great power but little sense or self-esteem. Although of a size to be kept in one's pocket, the magic of the book is such that the last twenty or so pages of the book appear blank even though the tale itself is much longer than the pages of the book could possibly contain.
The tale itself is a trite and trashy story of sordid lust and hackneyed sword fights, populated solely by paradoxically bare-chested knights fond of repeatedly proclaiming, "Laogeritt, my Eternal Love, I have come to claim you for my bride!!!" and a princess of astounding beauty whose chaste and virginal attire shows an astounding amount of bare cleavage and seems to get ripped off every three pages. It is also, however, an ongoing magical tale, as Laogeritt created a pocket dimension within the book and then trapped herself within it to live out her somewhat tasteless and gratuitous fantasies for the rest of eternity. Any event that happens within the pocket dimension of the book is simultaneously inscribed upon its pages. As an unintended side effect, anyone reading the story can exert narrative control over the characters by writing a paragraph or two in the book, as long as it is written in the overly dramatic and sordid style of the rest of the tale.

In and of itself, the book is simply a magical curiosity, but it has two rather dangerous abilities: When the book is opened and the opener proclaims, "Laogeritt, my Eternal Love, I have come to claim you for my bride!!!", they and all their possessions are immediately sucked bodily into the pocket dimension of the book and become new characters in the story. (Quite a number of the minor characters, villains and monsters in the book have been created this way, as the book is nearly three hundred years old and many a clever adventurer has had the forethought to point the book at an opponent while declaring their love for the book's main character.)
The second ability of the book is activated when the book is opened and the opener cries out, "Oh, save me, my Brave and Handsome Knight!!!", upon which a random occupant of the book is released back into the world - who may or may not decide to stick around and fight, either for or against the person who released them.
As near as the sages have determined, there are only two ways to release a specific character from the book - by writing them out of the story in such a fashion that Laogeritt wishes never to see them again (which ejects them violently from the book), or by entering the book and convincing Laogeritt to release them voluntarily.
The sages have also determined that destroying the book or killing Laogeritt will likely release EVERY character in the book... Which would be... bad.


A small wooden box, the top sealed with glue, whose gold lettering proclaims that it holds within it The Wonderous Whatsit of Woldew Wigglefingers (whatever that is)

 

[Shadowdweller00]

Well, since I got skipped last time I posted...

Sorry, guy, there's always that window between typing and posting...

 

[ArchfiendBobbie]

Sorry, guy, there's always that window between typing and posting...

No sweat. It happens!

 

[Shadowdweller00]

The Wonderous Whatsit of Woldew Wigglefingers

Constructed by the mad tinker, Woldew Wigglefingers (who infamously suffered from a severe lisp), this fantastic mechanical contraption may be adjusted to serve as any type of tool or navigational device. However, the mechanism is tremendously complicated and requires a successful intelligence check to use properly. Wigglefingers wove subtle extraplanar magic into the contraption, as a result of which the device may even be ratched and unfolded inward or outward to any desired size. So useful, in fact, is the Whatsit, as it is colloquially known, that the device has historically proven addictive to Rock Gnomes, Lantanese, and other persons obsessed with invention and mechanical devices. Therefore the Whatsit has unfortunately contributed to many terrible tragedies not least including the massacre of the Serenese automaton, the suicide of the clockwork demiurge Ebbelflanger, the collapse of the half-built tower of Pythagora, and sharp decline of the gnomish population of Mt. Nevermind. At some point in the past, the Whatsit was sealed in an enchanted wooden box with sovereign glue by one Ebenezer Sproot, known as Sproot the Martyr; before his subsequent torture and execution at the hands of Gondite inquisitors. No presently known method has yet been able to harm or open the box as a result of the enchantments placed thereupon.

Next item: A gaudy, gilded buckle.

 

[Capn Charlie]

Arkemn's Buckle

Apparently belonging to someone known as "Arkemn", due to the gaudy and bejeweled name appearing on it, this buckle seems to radiate a powerful aura of magic. When the command word is spoken as a bonus action(Glaucos), any armor that the speaker is wearing disappears from sight, and is stored in an extradimensional space inside the buckle, causing the gems to glow slightly as long as a suit of armor is stored in this way.

Unfortunately, whatever enchantments once imbued into this buckle have weathered poorly with age, and the armor is irretrievable immediately. The user must remain attuned to the buckle until after they have completed a long rest, after which time they may speak the command word again to have the stored armor immediately reappear upon their body as a bonus action. If the activating character is wearing armor when the stored set is retrieved, the two swap places, with the currently worn set becoming stored in the buckle.

Next Item An ornately intricately detailed gaming piece (Rook) carved from ivory.

 

[Harzel]

Next Item An ornately intricately detailed gaming piece (Rook) carved from ivory.

Renefin's Remarkable Rook
The wizard and renowned chess player Renefin is said to have created an entire set of chess pieces imbued with various novel magical functions. When one of its four command words is uttered, this rook teleports the holder up to 1 mile in one of the four cardinal directions. The command words are borealis, australis, occidentalis, and orientalis.

Next item: a hollow tube made of lustrous purple wood.

 

[pdzoch]

Next item: a hollow tube made of lustrous purple wood.

Secured Royal Scroll Case
This scroll case is made of purple wood and enchanted to protect the written contents inside. These scroll cases are common in the royal court, but are occasionally employed by magic users, thieves’ guilds, and pirates. A secured royal scroll case must be attuned to the owner. The owner can then place any written document inside to secure the written contents from being read. If anyone other than the attuned owner removed the document, it will appear blank. A magic scroll can be hidden in this way. A detect magic spell will detect that the scroll is magic, but will not reveal the written spell on the scroll. The owner must be alive to remover the content, but he does not have to be conscious, so slaying the messenger will not enable anyone to ever recover the written contents inside the secured royal scroll case.

Next Item: A brass chamberstick with the fingerloop and sconce fashioned in the shape of a dragon and the well inlaid with smooth malachite.

 

[ArchfiendBobbie]

Next Item: A brass chamberstick with the fingerloop and sconce fashioned in the shape of a dragon and the well inlaid with smooth malachite.

The Soul-Sconce of Ilyena Pendragon

Fashioned by one of the many dragonblood sorcerers of the infamous Pendragon bloodline, this particular item was used by one of the worst descendants of the famous king in a campaign of terror that crossed four worlds, three continents, and resulted in the destruction of an entire star system.

Ilyena Pendragon sought to reclaim the long-lost Pendragon homeworld through a deal with Asmodeus, borrowing from him an army to invade random worlds until she finally found the mythical birthplace of Arthur Pendragon. Her army invaded four worlds, slaughtering millions and bathing entire continents in blood in their quest. The souls of those slain were captured by this device, turned into candles which were then burned to power the portals necessary to cross the vastness of space and time.

Ilyena was finally stopped when a team of heroes, made up of survivors of the worlds her army slaughtered, banded together to retrieve the now-destroyed Starkiller Rod, which they sacrificed their lives to activate on the fifth planet she was invading. Had they known their sacrifice would cause that planet's sun to explode, they might have thought twice about their actions. But the rod itself was destroyed by the stellar boom, ending its own much-storied reign of terror and destruction.

How this item survived that sun's death and how it was able to open portals or hold multiple souls is currently unknown. What is known is that the Soul-Sconce can be used on a dying creature to trap their soul, which appears on it as a candle. Only one soul can be held at a time, and if it already holds a soul that soul is swapped with the one being captured. If the candle is lit, a caster regains a spell slot equal to one-third the creature's level (minimum 1), and the soul that was captured is sent to Asmodeus.

Next item: A silver cowbell

 

[pdzoch]

Next item: A silver cowbell

'Cause we can always use more cowbell!