Castle Filkenstein

ExploderWizard said:

SHRINE OF KUO TOA (Hotel California by The Eagles)

In a dark cavern temple, near where the drow lair
Cold stink of the fishmen,rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a flickering light
My shield grew heavy and my sword was drawn
I had to prep for the fight

There they stood in the doorway
I heard the temple bell
And I was thinking to myself,
' I'm gonna send these fish freaks straight to hell

Then they lit up a huge torch, tried to scare me away
They were croaking down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to Shrine of Kuo toa
Such an awful place
wonder how you'd taste?
Plenty of loot at the Shrine of Kuo toa
Any type of gear, you can find it here

Thier minds are tortured and twisted driving them all to bad ends
They got a goddess they call Blipdoolpoolp and she's got friends
How they kill on the altar....sweet blood to let
Some kill to remember, some kill to forget

So I called up the chieftain
’please release my guys
He said, ’we haven’t had any captives here since CY 609
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Slit your throat in the middle of the night
I can hear them say...
Welcome to Shrine of Kuo toa
Such an awful place
wonder how you'd taste?

They livin’ it up at the Shrine of Kuo toa
What a harsh surprise, bring your lucky die
Piercers on the ceiling,
The yellow mold so nice
And they said ’we are all just worshippers here, of our own device’
And in the chief whip's chambers,
They melee'd as they wished
They slash it with their vorpal blades
But they just can’t kill the fish

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’Ho-there’ said the fish man,
We are hatched here to believe
You can worship any time you like
But you can never leave!

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Lee Gold said:

Once a jolly Cleric, and a magic-using Elf,
And a mighty Dwarf with a sword plus three
Left their native village - out to get their share of pelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

First they met a Goblin - with a fire-breathing Hound.
They bashed and they smashed and they scragged them with glee.
Afterwards they searched them - and a Magic Potion found.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

The low Wisdom Swordsman picked it up and drank it down,
Changed to a Wolf immediately.
No one could Dispell it, so they headed back to town.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

Then a loud voice bellowed, "Who has slain the Goblin King?"
Round turned our heroes; what did they see?
Swooping down upon them was a Balrog on the wing.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

"Help," screamed the Cleric; "Ditto," yelled the Elven Mage.
The Wolf whimpered low - and he tried to flee.
The Balrog fell upon them, and his flames began to rage;
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

They ran through the forest, looking for a place to hide,
Pursued by the Balrog, so fierce to see.
"Wait," cried the Elf Mage; "I have got a plan," he lied.
"You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree."

Once a mighty Balrog slew a Cleric and an Elf
And a smallish Wolf who had teeth plus three,
Skinned them and tanned their hides...and kept them on a closet shelf.
You bash the Balrog, while I climb the tree.

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At first I was afraid, I'd be petrified
Or stunned or slept or slain or by a balrog fried
but I read so many books and I killed so many men
And I grew strong, and I knew I'd get along...

So don't look back!
don't pity me!
I'm not the worn down little thing I was at level 3!
< I forget the rest, sorry! >

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Plane Sailing said:

Can we post ones that we've enjoyed from pre-ENworld?

...and does Dr Seuss style ones from Sagiro count?

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TheAuldGrump said:

Where have all the dark elves gone?
Long time passing...
Where have all the dark elves gone?
Long time ago...
Where have all the dark elves gone?
Gone to Driders, every one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the the Driders gone?
Long time passing...
Where have all the Driders gone?
Long time ago....
Wher have all the Driders gone?
Gone to Yochlol, every one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the Yochlol gone?
Long time passing...
Where have all the Yochlol gone?
Long time ago....
Where have all the Yochlol gone?
Gone to spiders, every one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the spiders gone?
Long time passing...
Where have all the spiders gone?
Long time ago...
Where have all the spiders gone?
Gone to dark elves, every one,
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

The Auld Grump

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Thunderfoot said:

DWARF WITH NO NAME
To the tune of “Horse With No Name”
(and apologies to AMERICA)
On the first part of the journey I was lucky to have my life.
We lost a cleric and the paladin when they failed to turn that wight.
The rogue ended up as a spot on the floor when a trap he didn’t find;
it triggered with a deafening sound and it left the mage flash blind.

CHORUS
Now I’m stuck in a dungeon with a dwarf with no name,
it felt good to be out of the pain.
In the dungeon you can’t remember your name,
'cause there might be a dragon there to roast ya in flames.
La, la, la, la-la la-la la, la-la la, la la ...

After two days in the dungeon’s dark
we lost the sorcerer to a goblin horde.
After three days in the dungeons’ dank
the fighter died by a bugbear sword.
And the rest of the group well we started to droop when we counted up our reward

CHORUS

After nine days the ranger died
when we stumbled on a hydra’s den
And the mage, blew himself to bits
when he mixed up his components again.
And if I get out of here one thing is perfectly clear
I’m gonna settle down and run an inn.

CHORUS​

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